From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max Is:   
   	- Clearly attracted to Conan.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Hillary Clinton is mean.  (Bill Clinton says most people don't   
   know Hillary has the world's best laughter.  He could hear it every time   
   she pushes him down the stairs. )   
   	   
   	- Bush gave his 8th speech about Iraq; he promised to have the   
   troops home by the 73rd.   
   	   
   	- Yesterday was Conception Day in Russia, encouraging Russians   
   to have sex to increase the population.  In the spirit of international   
   cooperation, America sent Charlie Sheen.   
   	   
   	- The Trojan Condom Company is donated 350,000 condoms to   
   Washington, DC.  They come in two sizes, Regular and Washington   
   Monument.   
   	   
   	- Starbucks is considering adding drinks to appeal to children.   
   All they have to do now is figure how to get kids to pay $12 for a juice   
   box.   
   	   
   	- Britney Spears is reckless.  She may sign to endorse a line of   
   lingerie.  Their slogan: for the woman who occasionally wants to cover   
   that thing.   
      
      
   Conan's Hair looks Horrible!   
   	- It's frightened.  It must be threatened by something.  The   
   walkover frightened it.  It looks like he just woke up.   
   	   
      
   14th Anniversary!   
   	- It's the 2,472nd show.  11 were quite good.   
   	   
   	- What to do for a peculiar anniversary?  Enjoy Our Late Night   
   Five Minute 14th Anniversary Special.  14 dances out and confetti falls.   
    It cost $25.   
   	   
   	- Dress appropriately: Conan gets on a snap-on tuxedo.  Bruce   
   from Wardrobe puts it on.   
   	   
   	- Early shows demonstrate how he's changed.  Clip from show #1:   
   from the animated opening, out comes a little black girl in a dress.   
   	   
   	- Taped congratulations from celebrities: Dr Phil.  ``Hey,   
   Conan, it's Dr Phil and I want to say congratulations on 14 great   
   years.''  ``Uh ... hey, Conan, congratulations again on your 14th   
   anniversary.''  ``What?  You want another one?  Am I the only one who's   
   agreed to do this?  I mean, honestly, has this goofy bastard had a show   
   for 14 years?  Are you kidding me?  This whole thing is pathetic.  Just   
   pathetic.''   
   	   
   	- Only sharp, insightful comedy, not stupid and pointless   
   comedy.  Isn't that right, Gorilla Nurse Using An Old-Fashioned   
   Abdominal Exerciser While Listening To ``Angel Of The Morning'' By Juice   
   Newton?   
   	   
   	- Here's a barber shop quartet.  And they're not going to sing!   
   People hate them!   
   	   
   	- He wants to acknowledge his Mom's support.  She's at a bar and   
   wants the TV shut off.   
   	   
   	- Fans online have been voting for their favorite moment.  The   
   greatest highlight: his playing with Bruce Springsteen (23 June 2006).   
   Also his all-time low moment: him as a leprechaun, (3 November 1999).   
   	   
   	- From Dateline NBC here's Wade Culvert.  ``Happy birthday!  I   
   hear you're 14!'' He's arrested by the sheriffs.  We hope he finds   
   solace, right, Gorilla Nurse Using An Old-Fashioned Abdominal Exerciser   
   While Listening To ``Angel Of The Morning'' By Juice Newton?   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)