From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max Is:   
   	- Dressed like a gangster tonight.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad invited Bush to visit Iran and speak at an   
   Iranian university.  Bush is dumb.   
   	   
   	- When Ahmadinejad was a child he changed his name.  He was born   
   Stephanie Delgato.   
   	   
   	- Saddam Hussein offered to leave the presidency exile himself   
   for one billion dollars.  Bush said he'd do it for ten grand.  (Conan   
   will get us with the fifth joke.  Next is the fourth.)   
   	   
   	- Israeli police will no longer arrest first-time drug users.   
   Snoop Dog heard this and said, ``Shalom''.  (You give me the will to go   
   on, random guy.)   
   	   
   	- Economists say the high value of the Canadian dollar hurts   
   their sale of marijuana to the US.  Since the first two questions a   
   pothead asks are, ``can I buy any pot' and ``what's the Canadian dollar   
   trading at?''   
   	   
   	- Warner Brothers is planning a Batman-and-Superman movie   
   pairing them for the first time ever.  It's a love story.   
   	   
   	- Britney Spears recently asked a paprazzi photographer to go   
   into a store and buy her a tampon.  He said it was an opportunity to   
   finally give something back to the vagina that's given so much.   
      
      
   Conan Tattoo:   
   	- Kara got one a year ago.  It's on her hip, of the cartoon   
   Conan.   
      
      
   Farewell To Max:   
   	- And he's gay!  Because gayness is the all-purpose punch line   
   that never gets less amusing.   
   	   
   	- He's on tour for a while with Bruce Springsteen.  Conan loves   
   the waving cartoon of the rock and roll drummer off to his job at H&R   
   Block.   
   	   
   	- A bunch of pages put together a video montage of him abusing   
   them: scalding one with coffee; groping a woman; drumming a guy's rear   
   end; making one shave his back; using two like horses to draw him in a   
   roller chair.   
   	   
   	- He's gone on tour with Bruce, a few years ago with The   
   Wiggles, in 1997 with The Spice Girls, in 1993 with Kid N Play.   
   	   
   	- LaBamba wanted to say something: goodbye, and he got this   
   card.  He'll put this in Max's special Cards From Labamba shredder.  A   
   gerbil lives happily with it.  That joke even depressed the gerbil.   
   	   
   	- We're losing our only Jewish member; per FCC regulation,   
   they're making Mark Pender Jewish for the duration.  Rabbi?  Pender   
   doesn't know what's coming.   
   	   
   	- They went out to one last, special, lunch, at the NBC   
   cafeteria.  Cereals in plastic cups, which they get and return to the   
   office floor without speaking in a masterpiece of comic sullenness.   
   	   
   	- Max has a gift for them too: free tickets to Bruce!  Offer god   
   for October 9th show only at Brendan Byrne Arena, East Rutherford, New   
   Jersey.   One ticket per staff member.  Must be over 18.  Offer not   
   available to residents of Hawaii, Alaska, puerto Rico, Wisconsin, New   
   Hampshire, Pennsylvania, New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, and Florida.   
    Staff and crew members must provide proof of employment at Late Night   
   with Conan O'Brien, including most recent W-2 form and 8 kinds of   
   picture I.D.  Max's free ticket offer is sponsored by Copperhead   
   Wireless Cable and Mutual Bank of Korea.  You must be a Copperhead   
   Wireless cable subscriber and have a home equity line of credit with   
   Mutual Bank of Kora for over 500,000 dollars to take advantage of this   
   offer.  For free tickets call 1-800-555-0199.  Inquiry about tickets   
   will void the offer.   
   	   
   	- Mark Pender's song: o/` Maxy, please don't go / Maxy, please   
   don't go / don't go on tour with Bruce Springsteen / We need you here /   
   Maxy, please don't go!  o/`  Max is convinced to stay right here where   
   he's needed.  o/` That was just a song / That was just a song / It   
   wasn't meant to be taken literally / don't make this awkward / Max,   
   please just go o/`  They go to commercial on a reprise of Maxy Please   
   Don't Go.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)