From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Max Is:   
   	- Always a weird response to a very normal question.   
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Seven runners were gored in the Running of the Bulls.  The   
   runners are fine but the bulls can't stop laughing.   
   	   
   	- The first gay presidential debate will be held this summer.   
   Question number one: why can't health care be more fabulous?   
   	   
   	- Lady Bird Johnson passed away at age 94.  Laura Bush praised   
   her as a pioneer and icon; George W Bush praised her as a lady and a   
   bird.   
   	   
   	- Rudy Giuliani says he's opposed to medical marijuana, but is a   
   huge supporter of medical Rogaine.   
   	   
   	- Scott Baio says when he played Chachi he dated the actress who   
   played Joanie, and he lost his virginity to her.  Sadly, the same is   
   true about Potsie and Ralph Malph.   
   	   
   	- A California politician wants an eight percent tax on all porn   
   movies and related material.  It could raise $100 million a year, and   
   just from Charlie Sheen.  Conan feels like Churchill in the House of   
   Commons, which is an odd metaphor.   
   	   
   	- Nicole Richie is reported to change her eating habits now that   
   she's pregnant.  She started eating more after hearing a tiny voice   
   shout, ``Hey, lady, I'm starving in here!''  Her unborn child is from   
   Brooklyn of the 1940s.   
   	   
      
   True Story:   
   	- Conan works for GE, so they have cutting-edge technology and   
   cool gadgets.  Example: the in-house phone directory operated by voice   
   recognition software, you say the name and it connects you to that   
   person.  Problem?  It doesn't work.  So he demonstrates it on the air.   
   	   
   	- He dials and gets modem whine.   
   	   
   	- Conan O'Brien: Ringing Allyson O'Brien.   
   	   
   	- Jeff Ross, producer: Jack Wallace.   
   	   
   	- Sammy Sosa: Sandy Gottman.   
   	   
   	- (Have to wait a bit, this is General Electric.  Conan feels   
   like Thomas Edison with a tin cup.)  Shabababa Shamashama HIGH: Shawna   
   Boga.   
   	   
   	- Conan smashes his phone.   
   	   
      
   Summer Concert Series:   
   	- Plug for Ortho Fire Ant Killer, too.  Like the movie Zodiac.   
   	   
   	- John Mayer:  Waiting On The World To Change.  LaBamba has a   
   'Marry Me John' sign.   
      
      
   Emma Watson:   
   	- Is it strange to see her-at-ten in the old movies?  It's quite   
   horrible.  It's like hearing your voice on tape.   
   	   
   	- She was surprised by Hermione's Magic Muffins, muffin mix.   
   She's a horrible cook.   
   	   
   	- Her brother loves hurling benches at her video game   
   representation.   
   	   
   	- They made a special Harry Potter film for the Queen's 80th   
   birthday, and then met her.  She was so nervous about etiquette rules   
   she almost froze up.  She hopes she enjoyed the show; there wasn't much   
   facial expression.   
   	   
   	- It's obnoxious when people affect an English accent; she can   
   have one and it's fine.  Madonna, it sounds absurd.  American actors   
   putting on English accents are always ... terrible.  British actors   
   often do amazing American accents.  See Hugh Laurie, who Conan first   
   thought was schizophrenic   
   	   
   	- Have she or the other Potter actors gone a little money-mad?   
   Rupert bought an ice cream truck, every kid's fantasy.  Fortunately it's   
   filled with ice cream, as medical books would be a disappointment.   
   	   
      
   Michael Chernoff:   
   	- That is not an eagle, that's a picture of him.   
   	   
   	- He had a 'gut feeling' of a terrorist attack what with Bush's   
   poll numbers dropping.   
   	   
   	- He's modified Homeland security Terror Advisory System: Gut   
   Feeling; Gettin Weird Vibe; Little Birdie Told Me; Fortune Cookie Said   
   I'd Have An Interesting Week; Peyote-Fueled Hallucination.   
      
      
   Patton Oswalt:   
   	- He chapped his penis.  Ugh.  He was walking in Salt Lake City   
   but for some reason didn't wear underwear despite the cold.  It looked   
   like Andy Rooney crying.  This lead to complications at a fitness club.   
      
   	   
   	- He was interviewed by actual children for the Ratatouille   
   promotions.  He forgot how much he depends on cynicism and negativity to   
   communicate.  ``Was it fun working with Brad Bird?''  ``It was really   
   fun!''  Bleed!  Spiders out his ears!   
   	   
   	- He was in North Hampton, Massachusetts, to promote it, which   
   turns out to be a lesbian enclave.  With Janeane Garofalo, he looked   
   like part of the cutest lesbian couple in town.   
   	   
   	- The Kentucky Fried Chicken Famous Bowl rant he did last time   
   got a lot of response for the show.  It's like ``give me two scoops of   
   despair and cover it with I Give Up'', their most popular thing ever.   
   They've added a biscuit in the side of the bowl.  That didn't come from   
   corporate: employees sold it to customers and saw employers doing that.   
   Corporate realized they could charge for that.   
   	   
   	- If you're at the point in your life where you're getting a   
   Famous Bowl, shoving in the biscuit is the last creativity you have   
   left.  And now they've taken that away from their customers.  So he asks   
   the company to -- add some coffeehouse flute from the 60s -- here's a   
   poem he's written.   
   	   
   	- Don't take away my biscuit, KFC./  It's how I express my   
   creativity./  At the end of a long day's misery/ it's my bowl, my heart,   
   my biscuit and me./  Don't take away my biscuit, KFC,/ and leave me   
   adrift on a starchy sea./  Corn and potatoes, cheese and gravy,/ they   
   don't bring the joy in this out to me./  Don't take away my biscuit,   
   KFC./  You wouldn't like me when I'm an-guh-ry./  My hair will turn red/   
   and my skin will turn pasty.  Don't believe me?  Switch to camera three.   
      
   	   
   	- Conan enjoyed his final visit to the show.   
      
      
   Mark Ronson:   
   	- From 'Version': I have no idea.  Sorry.   
   	   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)