From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Jimmy is:   
   	- Doing OK.   
   	   
   	   
   Conologue:   
   	- Jenna Bush believes there's a ghost in the White House; Bush   
   told her that's just her grandmother.  Because ridiculing Barbara Bush   
   never gets less funny.   
   	   
   	- Larry Craig gay gay gay.   
   	   
   	- Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are the best-dressed candidates,   
   and Dennis Kuczynich is short.   
   	   
   	- Forbes listed its 400 richest Americans; it includes Oprah   
   Winfrey and 300 members of her studio audience.   
   	   
   	- Taco Bell diarrhea.   
   	   
   	- Senator Clinton was on The View; there was an awkward moment   
   when she looked around and said, ``Good Lord, I'm the hottest one   
   here,'' because the important thing in politicians is whether they're   
   hotty-hot-hotties.   
      
      
   Walkover Music:   
   	- Creedence Clearwater Revival, ``Up Around The Bend''.   
      
      
   Max Is On Tour:   
   	- Did you hear the last ten episodes running?  How about Jimmy's   
   toes?  He drums without shoes and his pinky toe turns to the side.  He   
   gets fan mail, which isn't proven.   
      
      
   New Sponsor:   
   	- Max Weinberg: everywhere he goes these days he hears people   
   talking about James Wormworth.  He's so cool.  He's such a good drummer.   
    He's so cute when he plays without his shoes.  It's time someone told   
   the truth about James Edward Wormworth: he's an ex-con!  A transvestite!   
    And a red communist!  You still think he's cool?  Then think again, and   
   God Bless America!  Paid for by Citizens Who Feel Threatened By James   
   Wormworth.  And Max spent over $40 to put that on the show.   
      
      
   Safety Instructions For The Studio Audience:   
   	- If we need to evacuate the theater remember there are two   
   exits at the top of the stairs and one at the bottom right, please walk,   
   don't run.  (Accompanied by cute drawing.)   
   	   
   	- What about the elderly?  I don't move so fast.  For the   
   elderly simply stay in your seat and raise your hand; an NBC page will   
   come to your assistance.  Conan can't believe we had pictures available.   
      
   	   
   	- What about conjoined twins who'd get stuck in the doors?  Make   
   your way down to this large pet door, proceed toward the window and   
   activate the hatch, then grab the giant coat hanger, hook the hanger to   
   the zip cord, and slide safely down to the nearest building.   
   	   
   	- What if we can turn ourselves into any form water may take?   
   If this is you, please assume the form of vapor, drift to the nearest   
   exhaust vent, then condense into marbles of hail and roll to the nearest   
   downspout, flow down the spout, and resume human form once safely on the   
   street.   
   	   
   	- My head is riddled with poisonous spines; how can I get   
   through the doors without killing other people?  All cactus people and   
   porcupine-Americans must make their way to this tub of styrofoam balls.   
   Then roll around in the balls until all points are completely covered.   
   Then walk out the doors with everyone else safe and sound.   
   	   
   	- [ Moaning cries from a grown-up Sigmund the Sea Monster ].   
   Conan answers in similar growling, and the pictures are abstract art   
   followed by the Monster walking out safely.  ``Cool, thanks a lot.''   
   	   
   	- And Conan?  He'll be distracted with thumb puppets, be knocked   
   unconscious with a sock full of quarters, be stripped naked and floated   
   inside a ball of breathable gel, and finally catapulted into New Jersey.   
    It's how he gets home every night.   
   	   
   	+ Excellent, first-rate sketch all around.  Bonus points to all   
   involved.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)