From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   	(I have no good reason for not getting to these in the past   
   ten days.  You should see how bad my e-mail is.)   
      
   String Dance!   
      
   Jimmy:   
   	- Wasn't at rehearsal and doesn't know who's on or what we're   
   doing.   
   	   
      
   Conologue:   
   	- A guy's been waiting his whole life to whoop for the Dalai   
   Lama.  Bush is dumb.   
   	   
   	- The US Army removed several recruiting ads as the web site   
   targets homosexual men.  ``Uncle Sam Wants You ... Bad.''   
   	   
   	- Vice President Cheney's wife says Cheney is a distant cousin   
   of Barack Obama.  Obama was skeptical until remembering his   
   great-great-gramma had a demon out of wedlock.   
   	   
   	- Dennis Kuczynich was campaigning in Red Sox territory while   
   wearing an Indians hat.  Someone walked up to his wife and said, ``tell   
   your son to take off that baseball cap.''   
   	   
   	- One of the men arrested with OJ Simpson says it was Simpson's   
   idea to bring guns.  Simpson said it was ridiculous; everyone knows he's   
   a knife gy.   
   	   
   	- The New York City subway will hire 350 more people cleaning   
   it.  To find the workers they put an ad in the paper, ``Attention,   
   urine-lovers''.   
   	   
   	- Ozzy Osborne had to pay a hotel $200,000 after he set off   
   fireworks indoors.  He said at the time he didn't realize he was   
   indoors, that he was holding fireworks, or that he was Ozzy Osborne.   
   	   
   	- N'Sync's Lance Bass, woo'd by the Dalai Lama guy, thought that   
   Justin Timberlake and another guy in N'Sync were gay.  Why?  They were   
   members of N'Sync.   
      
      
      
   Jewel Heist:   
   	- Think we've got a great show going on?  The Max Weinberg 7   
   thinks so.   
      
   	- Jerry has a question.  Why aren't they in more sketches?   
   Well, they're not the greatest actors in the world.  They can do tiny   
   pieces, but big sketches with drama and action ... Conan doesn't think   
   so.  Why is Conan mocking his audience?   
      
   	- There's an exhibit coming to Rockefeller Center: the   
   Rockefeller Diamond is returning for the first time in 55 years.  It'll   
   be on display later this month, and Conan learned about two hours ago,   
   it'll come through outside; can we take a peek?   
   	   
   	- Heavily armed guards take it in to show.  132 carats, flawless   
   color.  Next it goes to the NBC Vault.  It used to be Mr Rockefeller's   
   personal safe.  It's the world's safest vault.   
   	   
   	- Pender, Pender, initiate plan alpha bravo alpha!   
   	   
   	- ``Jimmy, remember that great story you told me once about how   
   you got your start in the music business?  I'd love to hear that story   
   again.''  He started playing the trumpet since his father's a trumpet   
   player, piano, clarinet, Marx brothers, dance band, World's Fair '64.   
   	   
   	- Conan taps on the Johnny Carson picture and pops up the   
   Emergency Inflatable Guest in a Conan wig.  The other Seven besides   
   Jimmy race out.   
   	   
   	- Heely, you tap into the mainframe and turn off the power.   
   Pender, you turn off the alarm system.  The rest of you come with me!   
   	   
   	- Female guard!  Conan's going to use a bit of Conan charm ...   
   mace.   
   	   
   	- Healy hacks into the mainframe; on Access Hollywood they lose   
   power again annoying whatisname.   
   	   
   	- Jerry, here's your chance ... they shove him in, where he gets   
   shot by the guard.  As the guard reloads, Conan darts him.   
   	   
   	- Pender finds lasers.  He strips to his spandex suit, slinks   
   awkwardly around them, and hits the button.   
   	   
   	- Conan finds an ancient door.  Mike didn't spend 18 years in   
   the Russian carnival for nothing: he folds up and slides through the air   
   vent.   
   	   
   	- They find the vault.  It's LaBamba's time for the C-4, which   
   is his moustache.  They explode open the safe.   
   	   
   	- Conan reaches and finds ... ``The Early Bird Gets The Diamond.   
    Brian Williams.''   
   	   
   	- A private island in the south Pacific: Brian Williams says,   
   ``tough luck, Conan.  Tough luck.''   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)