From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   Jimmy Is:   
   	- Ready.   
      
      
   Conologue:   
   	- Arnold Schwarzenegger said ``cannabis is not a drug''.  Of   
   course, when he said it, it sounded like ``cannibals need a hug''.   
   	   
   	- Bill Richardson called on his opponents to end all negative   
   campaigning.  the others rolled their eyes and said, ``whatever you say,   
   fat-boy''.   
   	   
   	- Barack Obama says he's been watching old Bill Clinton speeches   
   to improve his style, explaining why he now starts every sentence with,   
   ``Honey, I can explain ... ''   
   	   
   	- Vice-President Dick Cheney went pheasant hunting.  This time,   
   as his hunting partner, Cheney chose a pheasant.   
   	   
   	- In Dublin, Ireland, the tallest skyscraper in the country is   
   being built; it'll be named after U2.  Residents say they'll still call   
   it ``that tall thing that's not a bar''.  Someone over there just got   
   it.   
   	   
   	- Another of OJ Simpson's accomplices agreed to testify; Simpson   
   said he'll search for the real killer who's about to kill that guy.   
   	   
   	- A beverage company in England is selling bottled water for   
   dogs, in two varieties: carbonated and toilet.   
   	   
   	- In Hungary a man won a world championship when he solved the   
   Rubik's Cube in 25 seconds using only one hand.  He celebrated also   
   using only one hand.   
      
      
      
   Celebrity Survey:   
   	- Their mouths are moving.   
   	   
   	- Nothing wakes me up in the morning like ... Tim Robbins: a   
   shot of espresso; Eva Langoria: a jog around my neighborhood; Lindsay   
   Lohan: two state troopers dragging me out of an overturned ice cream   
   truck.   
   	   
   	- This Halloween I'm going to scare my co-workers by dressing up   
   as ... Matt Lauer: a zombie.  John Mayer: the guy from the Texas   
   Chainsaw Massacre.  Dick Cheney: Dick Cheney.   
   	   
   	- To me, fall represents ... Natalie Portman: an end to a life   
   cycle.  David Hyde Pierce: the coming of winter.  The New York Jets: a   
   chance to show off what we learned at ``Suck'' camp.   
   	   
   	- To reduce our carbon footprint we have to ... Al Gore: begin   
   relying on alternate fuel sources; Ted Danson: commit to the green   
   lifestyle; George W Bush: wear smaller carbon shoes.   
   	   
   	- When choosing a mate, I ask myself ... Cameron Diaz: do we   
   share the same values?  Matthew McConnaghey: do we have similar   
   interests?  Pamela Anderson: what diseases does he bring to the table?   
   	   
   	- I had to leave my childhood home when ... Van Sawyer(?): my   
   dad got a new job.  Anderson Cooper: I went off to college.  Larry King:   
   the entrance to my cave was blocked by a glacier.   
   	   
   	- The hardest part about campaigning door-to-door is ... Barack   
   Obama: keeping your energy up.  John Edwards: feeling like you're   
   intruding.  Dennis Kucinich: reaching the doorbell.   
   	   
   	- Sometimes at night I lie awake wondering ... Al Franken: where   
   is this administration leading us?  Brad Pitt: what else can I do to   
   make a difference in the world?  Scott Baio: how much can I get for one   
   of my kidneys?  Conan questions the audience's sympathy for Scott Baio.   
      
   	   
   	 - When I was younger I always wanted to look like ... Scarlet   
   Johannsen: Marilyn Monroe.  Sienna Miller: Cheryl Ladd.  Joan Rivers: a   
   clown carcass.   
   	   
   	 - You can tell I've matured a lot in the last few months   
   because ... Nicole Ritchie: I'm taking better care of myself now that   
   I'm pregnant.  Christina Aguilera: I'm married now.  Britney Spears: I   
   only show people some of my vagina.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)