From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   26 February 2008 - Will Ferrell, Rashida Jones, Fred Simmons   
   Jimmy:   
   	Has a new hat.   
      
   Introduction:   
   	Cleveland's boring.  Obama offered role in Big Momma's House 3.   
   Ralph Nader loser.  Starbucks introduced $1 coffee; you have to buy it   
   at Dunkin' Donuts.  Newark sucks.  Pfizer's pulling Robert Jarvik ads as   
   Jarvik isn't licensed to practice medicine.  Scandal must scare Dr   
   Scholl.  Britney Spears's family idiots.  Gary Coleman's weird married   
   life.   
      
   	+ Dr Scholl's is named for company founder William Matthias   
   Scholl, a podiatrist who graduated from the Illinois Medical School in   
   1904.   
      
   	Leap Day is Friday, get stoked!  Still in the ``Febs''!   
   Recalibrate and celebrate!  It's nice to keep in mind!  Next leap day   
   2012, when the Mayan calendar predicts the destruction of mankind!   
      
   	+ The Mayan calendar predicts no such thing, but its current   
   cycle does end in December 2012 (the exact date is disputed).  Either   
   way, the next leap day is on this side of the cycle.   
      
   	State Quarters: Texas, guns.  Ohio, 11th-most-important   
   presidential debate.  Vermont, syrup vat drowning leader.  New York,   
   Hillary Clinton a shrew.  Mississippi, dumb.  (Calls computer a ``word   
   tv''.)  Kentucky, 4 1/2 pipes from Crystal Meth Weekly.  Florida, ready   
   to screw up 2008 election.  North Dakota, ``Wait, the quarter caption   
   was due today?''  Alaska, #1 in Eskimo Porn.  Alabama, #2 in Eskimo   
   Porn.   
      
      
   Will Ferrell:   
   	Valentine's Day he dresses like Cupid and shoots arrows.  He   
   has, shockingly, a sports movie set in the 70s coming out.  He shows   
   defensive moves which unpredictably prove to be vaguely sexual moves set   
   to Sweet Georgia Brown.   
      
   	Ferrell shows off his pale thighs.  Ferrell's the worst   
   celebrity autograph of Autograph magazine.  He has a hook left-hand.   
   Woody Harrelson and Ferrell played basketball in their underwear.  The   
   movie clip almost gets to Andy Richter's character.   
      
      
   Rashida Jones:   
   	Irish citizen.  Conan in the sun.  Farrelly brothers movie makes   
   Ferrell uncomfortable.  She was bit, when ten, by Michael Jackson's   
   chimpanzee Bubbles, and has a scar.  Her father worked with Michael   
   Jackson a lot, and Bubbles grabbed something, and her sister urged her   
   to open it and take it back, and Bubbles started throwing stuff.  Books,   
   tapes, Rubik's Cube.   
      
      
   Fred Simmons:   
   	King of the Tae Kwan Do demo.  He fusses over cameras to talk   
   into.  North Carolina.  Disses Ferrell.  Where is his Mecca?  He didn't   
   see the web site chyron.  He does a demo, with reasonable physical   
   humor.  Simmons wants do-overs.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)