From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   21 March 2008 - Ryan Phillippe, Big Show, J B Smoove   
   Jimmy Is:   
   	Aware it's Good Friday, a happy topic.   
      
   Introduction:   
   	Bill Clinton adulterer.  Elliot Spitzer sex addict.  Jim   
   McGreevey gay.  Larry King old.  Starbucks overpriced.  Producer of the   
   Girls Gone Wild video wants to start a Girls Gone Wild Magazine.  Might   
   feature boobs.  A big insurance company announced they'll give $10   
   million to anyone inventing a car that gets 100 miles per gallon.   
   Meanwhile, Exxon will give $11 million to anyone who kills that guy.  In   
   Oregon a man was arrested for masturbating in a Target; he's been named   
   Employee of the Month at Wal-Mart.  Black hat and ladies' sunglasses look good   
   on him.   
      
   	What *is* so funny about peace, love, and understanding?   
      
   	Pierre Bernard: Potential doom?  Rerecorded by Ian McShane, of   
   Deadwood.  He'll try doing a bit more like Ian McShane, and makes what   
   sounds like some kind of Tolkein reference.   
      
      
   	NCAA March Madness Mascots: Drake Blue Denim Devil in Daisy   
   Dukes.  Kansas State Tandem Combovers.  Saint Mary's Beer Bong Nun.   
   Indiana University Kama Sutra Skeletons.  Illinois University Bigmouth   
   Billy Bass Who Shares Barack Obama's Views On The World.  University of   
   Minnesota Mini Minnie Driver Driving a Mini Cooper Mini.  New York   
   University Governor Martin Van Buren Getting A Lap dance FroM Governor   
   Thomas Dewey.  Washington State Hotdogging Hot Dog.  The other mascots   
   come out and finish him off.  ``You don't gotta beat me with that much   
   -- relish!'' (Twinkle!)  Splendid ending to the sketch.  Do more of that.   
      
   	+ My father and I attended the taping which introduced the   
   Gaseous Wiener to the world.   
   Ryan Phillippe:   
   	Tabloids run photos of him working out, over and over.  Who's   
   the smiling guy?  His friends say, he is not that interesting.  Throwing   
   a half-eaten breakfast meal at the photographers?  They can't sue.  Kids   
   huge Hannah Montana fans.  Stop-Loss: it'd be really unpopular if people   
   knew what it was.  Were there people who don't know what it is?   
      
      
   Conan's Mail Came:   
   	Letter from Max Weinberg: read via Ken Burns effect.  ``How is   
   the band?  It pains me to think how much of their young lives I must be   
   missing.  Is Pender still bald?  Is Mike still black?''  He hopes for an   
   end to this bloody, senseless tour.   
      
      
   Big Show:   
   	One of the few guests who makes Conan look little.  To fight   
   Floyd Mayweather, 5'8", 159 pounds.  Insane.  Mayweather punched him in   
   the nose, after Big Show made fun of him.  Big Show's wife is bigger   
   than him.  When you're famous and have a gimmick name you don't want to   
   hear it all the time.  After a fight, she bought a turtle, Big Slow, as   
   if she wasn't talking to him.  New York dirty-water hot dogs were cut   
   down by a guy to a dollar -- wait, they *are* a dollar.  And you know   
   what that means ...   
      
      
   J B Smoove:   
   	Keep things real.  He goes onto things about being real while   
   breaking up, like, by faking nightmares.  Tall skinny white men are good   
   for him?  Robot dancing contest among skinny men.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)