From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   11 December 2008 - #2687 - Bill Hader, Jessica Szohr, Tony Bennett.   
   	String Dance!   
   	Conologue.  Bush has spent 2,500 hours walking a treadmill   
   during his presidency; he only wanted to be on for 45 minutes but   
   couldn't figure how to turn it off.  Boeing is postponding delivery of   
   its 787 Dreamliner until 2010; for the first time, the luggage will get   
   there the same time as the plane.  Astronomers have found a planet with   
   an atmosphere wholly made of poisonous carbon dioxide; they're naming it   
   Cleveland.  It's orbited by the two moons of Newark.  Michael Jackson is   
   auctioning his famous glove; the sale says, one medium-size left-handed   
   men's glove, smells like Webster.   
      
   	Clutch Cargo Rod Blagojevich: He's selling his interview time to   
   a Chinese stereotype that thinks Conan is Ryan Seacrest.   
      
   	Clutch Cargo Arnold Schwarzenegger: Jay Leno can travel back in   
   time?  Conan has to go back to 10 pm and stop Leno!  And team up to 9:00   
   to stop Lipstick Jungle!  He can't say Blagojevich either.  He'll break   
   Conan into syllables for you.  Agreed with Sarah Palin and Jesse   
   Ventura, at a comic book convention, governorship was losing its dignity   
   and then they put on rubber costumes to hand out cell phone flyers.   
   Leno and Conan must stop the Chicago Machine!  Jingle All The Way.   
      
   	DuBBle LeTTer Day: BiLL Hader; HeSSica Szohr: More S's than a   
   MeSS of MiSSiSSippi SaSSafraSSes; Tony BeNNett.  Two N's, Two T's, I'LL   
   be home for Christmas, Jingle BeLLs: A DuBBle LeTTer PalOOza.  Announcer   
   guy has to pay child suPPort, CoMMunity coLLege tuition, go to AA.   
      
   	Rod Blagojevich's hair: looks like a GI Joe villain, is   
   inaugurated to the Real Hair That Looks Like A Krunky Toupee Hall Of   
   Fame, alongside Donald Trump and Conan.   
      
   Bill Hader:   
   	Does unusual impersonations, eg Dateline's Keith Morrison.   
   Hader's a fan.  Morrison clearly knows the answers to his questions,   
   like, ``what did they find in the trunk of your car?''  Bill Kurtis does   
   the same thing.  Does impersonation of Jabba the Hutt dying.  Also the   
   tauntaun.  Was a big Star Wars nerd.  John Malkovich is a huge college   
   basketball fan.   
      
   Jessica Szohr:   
   	Conan's wife is a Gossip Girls fan; guys tell her girlfriends or   
   wives make them watch it.  Conan critiques unrealistic high schools.   
   Szhor's hair hits her microphone; Hader and Conan nerd out.  Fans show   
   up on the street during filming; it gets crazy, like security guards to   
   hold back crowds of little girls.  Her character in the original book   
   was bald, and Szohr looks good, while Conan looks hideous.  Guys try   
   awful pickup lines: ``How much does a polar bear weigh?  ... Enough to   
   break the ice: can I buy you a drink?''  Hader defends it.  She likes   
   Conan's ``I didn't know angels flew so low''.   
      
   Tony Bennett:   
   	+ Before the Christmas decorations get up?  Falling asbestos   
   snow and walter Cronkine on bass.  Dave Barry on guitar.   
      
   	- I'll Be Home For Christmas, followed by Jingle Bells, as   
   promised.   
      
   	Bloomingdale's made one of Bennett's pictures a very popular   
   shopping bag; it's his dog in the taxi cab, being stolen by Santa Claus.   
    Painted the back of his album, which was a Cancer Society Christmas   
   card.  Smithsonian has bought his paintings.  First new Christmas album   
   in forty years, instead of new covers.  This one is with Count Basie's   
   big band.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)