From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   19 January 2009 - #2704 - Teri Hatcher, Aries Spears, Q-Tip.   
   Conologue.   
   	In under twelve hours Barack Obama will be sworn is as   
   president; don't get too wild --- you have no idea how much Bush can   
   screw up in twelve hours.  He invaded the Bahamas.  Obama was on for   
   performances by Jon Bon Jovi, Garth Brooks, and John Mellancamp: it   
   really is a new era for African-Americans.  The inauguration festivities   
   will cost $170 million; don't worry, Oprah said, ``this one's on me''.   
   With her Plutonium Amex card.  Ikea has built a replica of the Oval   
   Office where all the furnishings are Ikea furniture, answering the   
   question, What if the President was a 28-year-old divorced guy?  For the   
   last day in office Bush called the leaders of Denmark, Italy, Russia,   
   and South Korea, to thank them for being the last four countries that'd   
   still take his call.   
      
   Inauguration Day Events:   
   	Gates the Inaugural Ceremony open.  Musical selections performed   
   by The United States Marine Band.  The new, Asian lead singer of Journey   
   sings theme from ``The Jeffersons''.  Senator Dianne Feinstein provides   
   welcoming remarks. A & W presents: A History Of Root Beer.  Don Rickles   
   stand-up comedy showcase.  Invocation by the Reverend of Hate Rick   
   Warren.  Reunion and Q&A with original cast of ``Suddenly Susan''.   
   Peruvian band ``Too Many Guitars'' plays the inaugural march.  Tom   
   Brokaw tells his version of ``The Aristocrats''.  Kennedy center Film   
   Presentation: ``Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo''.  Obama gives the inaugural   
   address.  Product Demonstration by the Sham-Wow Guy.  A round of ``Deal   
   or No Deal'', in which President Obama must find the key to the White   
   House in one of 26 briefcases.   
      
   	Conan on Black History.  Mike has a dream.   
      
   	Denycex: for the run comedy of frigid women.   
      
   	Smooth Jazz 87: Dave and the Wave, trying to solve Israel.   
      
   Teri Hatcher:   
   	'Brian' helped her mike pack.  Conan's set building at Universal   
   Studios got _Desperate Housewives_ dispossessed.  Her 'Soap Dish'   
   moment: they could go somewhere to try getting recognized, as Teri   
   Hatcher and the kid from Mask.   
      
   	Is _Depserate Housewive_ getting more risque?  Disney spent time   
   and money digitally erasing nipples.  How many times can they get   
   'nipples' in at 12:35?  She'd swum through microscopic jellyfish and   
   would be stung all day, all together, nipple.   
      
   	They're going to stand at 8 am for the inauguration.   
      
   Aries Spears:   
   	Inaugural events.  Anything Jay-Z does is a hit, 'I'm not even   
   rapping anymore, my next is going to be 20 tracks of my favorite   
   noises'.  Next black accomplishment after President: Olympic swimmer.   
   Black people: now we can't show up late anymore and have to stop being   
   stereotypical.  Tip and stop having issues with the bill.   
      
   Q-Tip:   
   	The Renaissance: No idea which song it is.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)