From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   20 January 2009 - #2705 - William H Macy, Steve Nash, Los Straitjackets.   
   Conologue.   
   	Obama's inauguration has excited people: Conan hasn't seen   
   people this excited since they learned how to put cheese in a pizza   
   crust.  Some people watching the inauguration did the Electric Slide,   
   celebrating the election of our first black president by doing the   
   whitest dance ever.  During the oath of office Justice Roberts and Obama   
   stumbled on a few words, so as require by the Constitution, they had to   
   make out for a few seconds.  In the cold weather, Bush's approval rating   
   reached minus 13.  Tom Brokaw said the inauguration is like the Super   
   Bowl, with the difference being the Jets had a chance to go to the   
   inauguration.  Bush completed his last piece of business in the Oval   
   Office at six this morning; he says it should take weeks for Obama to   
   find the dead fish.  Obama's elementary school playmates remember him as   
   a chubby boy named 'Barry', and even now, their tax returns are being   
   audited.  Starr Jones said she was filled with joy, or, technically,   
   Almond Joy.   
      
   	Dick Cheney injured his back and had to leave office in a   
   wheelchair; they have footage.   
      
   George W Bush's To-Do List:   
   	Take down my 14 autographed posters of Jeff Foxworthy; Pardon   
   the Hamburglar; Finally visit Oval Office, see what all the fuss is   
   about; Play actual game of 'Connect Four' instead of my favourite,   
   'Connect Two'; Send 1,000 pizzas to Obama's new house (get address   
   first); Write name on South Lawn with my 'Prez Juice'; Give the finger   
   to every portrait that's been eyein' me funny for the past eight years;   
   Buy a lot of fruit roll-ups, then wrap myself up in them to be a big   
   scary fruit mummy; Make one last joke to Condoleeza about 'brown rice';   
   See how many styrofoam packing peanuts I can fit in my left nostril;   
   Write thank-you note to Chef Boyardee; Find out what happens when I   
   press that red button.  (He ran out of time.)   
      
   Obama calls for setting aside childish things:   
   	Late Night sets aside Cactus Chef Playing 'We Didn't Start The   
   Fire' on flute; Gorilla Nurse Using An Old-Fashioned Abdominal Exerciser   
   White Listening To 'Angel Of The Morning' by Juice Newton; Fed-Ex Pope.   
   (Once the crowd saw who Conan was talking about they were glad to see it   
   set aside.)   
      
   Unpopular Obama Memorabelia:   
   	Giant Dual Pencil Sharpener.  (This is *such* a Late Night with   
   David Letterman thing; that's a compliment.)  The Sham-Wow Guy's _The   
   Audacity of Wow_.  Obama with dredlocks doll.  Cornrows.  James Brown   
   hair.   
      
   In-House Obama Auditions:   
   	Held today, kind of late.  Steve Graham.  Pierre Bernard.  Mark   
   Pender (Brokaw auditions are tomorrow).  LaBamba.  Joel Goddard (he's on   
   Gabby Hayes).  Fred Armisen from Saturday Night Live.   
      
      
   William H Macy:   
   	It's an astounding country that can go from Bush to Obama in one   
   election.  Conan will love Los Angeles if he wears SPF 80 and a   
   beekeeper costume, and drives a 1992 Taurus, the back of which is on   
   fire.  Macy carries big cowboy mustaches with him.  Conan feels he's on   
   a riverboat, gambling, and tries it as eyebrows.  Macy has a yarmulke   
   for his film.   
      
      
   Steve Nash:   
   	He tries making it a positive that he's smaller than most other   
   pro basketball players.  Conan feels little around them, changing his   
   self-image.  Funny vitamin water commercial; he was playing against type   
   as funny.  Worst injury he's received: Karl Malone bent a tooth back in   
   Nash's mouth.  Father was a pro soccer player; Nash was tempted, but his   
   friends played basketball.  Dunking: not a big part of his career.  Is a   
   Conologue-trampoline leagal in the NBA?  Joined pickup basketball game,   
   worrying his teammates.   
      
   Los Straitjackets:   
   	They play something instrumental.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)