From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   3 February 2009 - #2712 - Seth Meyers, Johnny Knoxville, The Zac Brown Band.   
   Conologue.   
   	The Super Bowl fireworks frightened Max.  The Republican   
   National Committee elected its first African-American chairman, Michael   
   Steel, or as he's known in the party, The Black Guy.  Tom Daschle   
   withdrew his nomination over unpaid taxes; Obama is down to second and   
   third choices, Willie Nelson and Wesley Snipes.  The bailout plan   
   includes bringing wireless Internet to rural areas, or, Porn For Corn.   
   General Motors is offering a buyout package including $20,000 and a   
   voucher for a GM car; workers said, make it a Honda and you've got a   
   deal.  The Academy Awards producers are trying to improve ratings: this   
   year's will be titled _American Idol Presents The Oscars Hosted By   
   Barack Obama_.  A Swiss town has banned nude hiking by German tourists;   
   why?  Have you *seen* nude German tourists?  MySpace officials   
   terminated 90,000 sex offender accounts; in a related story, MySpace now   
   has seven users.  Amy Winehouse's apartment was robbed; thieves did not   
   steal drugs as she keeps her drugs in a top-secret place, her   
   bloodstream.   
      
   	Michael Phelps was photographed taking a hit from a bong; his   
   sponsors have tweaked their ads.  Corn Flakes: now with 100% Doritos.   
   AT&T: When you can't remember why you called in the first place, you'll   
   need all the minutes you can get.  Omega Watches: because it's always   
   4:20 somewhere.   
      
   Late Night Fan Birthdays.  Smacker's.   
      
   Late Night Budget Cuts: Pneumatic tube system to send a tape to the Houston   
   	affiliate.  Cheetos Cannon replaced with Cheetos Crossbow; guys   
   eats one.  Less realistic special effects, as Brian shoots himself;   
   bang, blood, brain.  Employees paid in Conan Cash (recipients must be   
   related to Gary Oldman; it's only printed on one side).  Reusing comedy   
   bits; Brian shoots himself again, bang, more blood, brain, and has a   
   nap-nap on a brain pillow.  Replacing high-definition cameras with   
   security cameras; Matt Lauer stole Conan's watch.  Combining security   
   with cleaning staff: Roombas with guns.  Can't afford classic rocks, so,   
   Mark Pender sings a knock-off of 'Stairway to Heaven', 'Step Stool To   
   Purgatory'.   
      
   Seth Meyers:   
   	Brian Williams had to cancel.  Meyers had filled in before.   
   He's a Steelers fan; acts like petualnt five-year-old.  'Born To Run'   
   seemed likely to appear.  He was in 'Journey to The Center Of The   
   Earth'; his character doesn't.  He's on the trading card.  His 3-D card   
   action: looking up.  Conan tries putting 3-D glasses over the card; it   
   doesn't work.  Mayers just goes up to the camera to recreate it.   
      
   Johnny Knoxville:   
   	Airport trouble: accidentally had fake grenade in his luggage.   
   Prop left over from taping.  Knew something was wrong when four cops   
   arrived.  Had got brother-in-law Crazy Ronnie to put big steel dildo in   
   his wife's carry-on.  He'd broken his penis in a stupid motorcycle   
   accident; don't try that with 3-D glasses.   
      
   The Zac Brown Band:   
   	The Foundation: Chicken Fried (?); maybe Sic 'Em On A Chicken.   
      
   	Emergency Alert System test, at least on WNBC/New York City.   
      
   	Conan wears his 3-D glasses for the outro, which still includes   
   the number to call for tickets.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)