From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   5 February 2009 - #2714 - Brian Williams, Taraji P Henson, Nate Bargatze.   
   State Of The Show Address.   
   	Jeff Ross Tivos the last three minutes of each show to see his   
   name in the credits.  Head writer enters anonymously.  Conan mocks a fan   
   who wants an autograph and draws a unibrow in.  Greets his wife and the   
   actress who plays his wife.  LaBamba's in the Aretha Franklin hat.   
   Shoe-verine, S&M Lincoln, Cy-Berg the Jewish cyborg.   
      
   	No monologue: first standing ovation.  They have the sole   
   surviving goose from that plane that went down in the Hudson.  Rick   
   Ludwin, who get the network to hire Conan; he's a superannuated Wendy's   
   worker.   
      
   	Proud of launching Jack McBreyer and Amy Poehler; sorry for   
   ruining John McCain's career.  Helped Conan lose his virginity.  No more   
   cheap tricks to pander to the audience.  Late Night With Conan O'Brien   
   Museum: no; pamphlets will be distributed to participating Cinnabons in   
   Queens.   
      
   	Putting away childish things for Obama: Cat Too Big For The Maze   
   He's In Listening To Sports Radio.  Skinny Black guy With Big Fat Honkie   
   Legs (Pierre Bernard).  Gator with Gaydar.  Also Shoeverine, S&M   
   Lincoln, and Cy-Berg.   
      
   	Acting lessons for LaBamba.  Abe Vigoda has outlived Late Night   
   ... almost.  Goodbye, Masturbating Bear; Hello, Bear Frantically Trying   
   To Find His Cell Phone In His Fanny Pack.  (Max has hilarious   
   expressions for this.)   
      
   	They'll continue to occasionally entertain but mostly just   
   irritate.   
      
   E! Not At All True Hollywood Story: Tom Hanks.  Raised by gorillas.   
   Hijacked steamroller and ran over Gerald Ford. Studied ballet with   
   Willie Nelson.  Rode an elephant to Hollywood, became a   
   professional sewer worker before killing himself in bizarre   
   ice-sculpting accident; now headless ghost hunting Applebees.   
      
   	Late Night On-Air Meltdown.  The New York Times counted the   
   number of phases of pure boron incorrectly.  Conan says 'kiloPascals'   
   weird.   
      
   Chronically Late Brian Williams:   
   	Loved Springsteen's Super Bowl appearance.  Late Night's hallway   
   is packed with freaks, dolphins, manatees, self-pleasuring bears.  Llama   
   Abe Lincoln with red rubber ball in his mouth.  Abe Vigoda.  He'll miss   
   Conan, but won't come to Los Angeles.  Cinnabon comes up, and In-And-Out   
   burgers.  He likes Arby's roast beef with cheese and horsey sauce.  It's   
   portable.  The wrapping makes them stay hot and fresh for days.  Weird   
   woman who blogs about his ties; Williams's security warns him not to   
   read the blog.  Had to cancel Tuesday's appearance to interview   
   President Obama.  How dare Williams mock Conan to his face; here's some   
   more blogs to read.  Oval Office still has Laura Bush rug.  Obama hasn't   
   yet found all the stuff a President has, like the gym, bowling alley,   
      
   Taraji P Henson:   
   	Hated her name growing up.  Sang for the Oscars.  She'd been a   
   singing and dancing waitress.  It's buffet-style so only had to serve   
   the drinks.  Performing for people who're eating is awful.  Conan dries   
   himself after a shower by winding himself up and unwinding quickly.   
   Plays Brad Pitt's mom in _Benjamin Button_.  Worked with a robot baby.   
   She worked herself up to loving it.   
      
   Nate Bargatze:   
   	He and his wife have opposite schedules.  Why was there a Great   
   Depression?  Homeless guys sleep at reasonable hours.  Stopped riding a   
   bike when he became an adult.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)