From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   17 February 2009 - #2721 - Jason Sudeikis.  (Stephen Colbert, Carrie Fisher)   
   	Final show to use the panning-city animation from the 10th   
   Anniversary Show.   
      
   	It sounds like a cockfight in here.  Conan loves you too, sir.   
   If he knew they'd be this excited he'd have left years ago, around 2002.   
      
   Conologue.   
   	Going on the air in 1993 there was no way to guess 16 years   
   later we'd have an African-American president, and Obama had no way to   
   know an albino would take over The Tonight Show.  In 1993 you couldn't   
   say douchebag, dipwad, or a-hole on TV; Conan just likes saying them   
   now.  Why the U-S-A chant?   
      
   	Conan watches The Colbert Report: he steals Conan's invisible   
   strings for the string dance!  They're his now!  Colbert walks out and   
   they duel.  He stole his invisible key.  String-Dance-Off!  Colbert   
   strings his eyebrows; Conan flosses.  Colbert hog-ties Conan.  Why did   
   Conan not do more mime on Late Night?  Conan unbinds himself by rubbing   
   on an HDTV set.  He's out of breath from doing a string dance, a new   
   definition of 'out of shape'.   
      
   	Best-of clip: Conan bird-watches in Central Park.  They hear a   
   prairie warbler and American wobbler; Conan hears a bus.  Life lists:   
   Conan's is for the ladies.  American robin; it has three wings, no legs   
   and it gets around in a wheelchair.  Some bird calls are phrases, 'I   
   bought a had but want to take it back'.  Conan makes up confusing hand   
   signs.  'Someone with a beard is coming'.  They recommend saying, 'I see   
   a bird', which is no fun.  Double-crested cormorant, two pigeons, and a   
   dead seagull.  White heron ... grey eaglet, actually.  Conan looks at   
   his hand through the binoculars.  Two birding groups are ready to   
   collide.  Conan sees a hermaphrodite tanager.  Two white-facd fawn   
   kestrals in a taxi heading for Jersey.  A bush-tit is so immature.  They   
   think he looks like a red-headed woodpecker.  Conan does bird   
   ventriloquy and climbs a tree to fool birders.  'I'm a bird!  I'm a   
   bird!'  He scares people.  They drink from the binoculars.   
      
   	Tearing apart the set: the railing.   
      
   	The Masturbating Bear can't come: for our children's children's   
   children's perverted children he's to be frozen in carbonite.  His last   
   request is masturbation.  Carrie Fisher can't let this happen and   
   unfreezes him.  He flees and Kenneth The Page gets knocked over   
   repeatedly.  The attendants chase Bear, who escapes with a face massage,   
   a tripto Duane Reade, Times Square, a chase through Chroma-Key sewers   
   and down _The Fugutive_'s dam; he washes up on a boat with Carrie   
   Fisher, drinking champagne.  The End?   
      
   	YouTube Video Of The Woman At The Hong Kong Airport.  (I   
   recognize the airport well.)  She comes out, horrified that Conan's   
   leaving.  How can this be?  She loves your show, the guests, the   
   comedy's not her cup of tea.  But he's just going to The Tonight Show.   
   Oh, OK, never mind.   
      
   	Joel Godard's greatest clips.  He took a beating in the market   
   yesterday.  He licks himself.  Arty shot of his belly tattoo discussing   
   God.  He talks with his black rabbit and will kill Bronson Pinchot.  The   
   Protectors reveals a serial killer.  Oscar Pool's only found two Oscars.   
    Post-explosion mess.  The winner is him.  He'll enslave our planet.   
   His head retracts to show his brain.  He's killed a goat with his bare   
   hands.  His booth is thrown down the stairs.  He has a psychedellic   
   trip.  The stroller bit from Eisenstein.  He goes to sleep on the trash   
   pile.   
      
   	Visiting Hunter S Thompson: shooting guns and drinking hard   
   liquor.  He's got a bartender with guns.  They shoot a Duke (from   
   Doonesbury) sign.  Machine gun.  Shooting cardboard copies of his books.   
    An NBC peacock and an FAO Schwarz ape.  Move your whiskey before you   
   start shooting.   
      
   Jason Sudeikis:   
   	Conan's not fired; this changes what he had to say.  Sudeikis   
   could do the news: he just moves stuff slightly to the side and mean   
   stuff when he says it.  Leno didn't get fired either.  Great.  Late   
   Night was his first talk show; he brought his own clips: a montage of   
   Conan laughing at him.   
      
   	Credits: A Brian McCann bit where McCann learns Flagler County,   
   Florida is the fastest-growing county and not Lyon County, Nevada, and   
   so decides there's nothing to live for.  He runs out, into a kayak, and   
   plummets down the snow slope and back again.  His seat's been filled;   
   there's room in the back but has no reason to live.  He bicycles off a   
   bridge.  He can't pretend to kill himself anymore.  He gets into a   
   choo-choo to take him away, plummeting off a cliff  The credits still   
   list the number to call for tickets.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)