From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   19 February 2009 - #2723 - Jerry Seinfeld, Craig Bierko.  (Will Arnett)   
   	Anthology opening sequence.   
   	Joel: Only one more show and then I give birth to octuplets!   
      
   Standing ovation.  The cheer comes across more as enraged.   
      
   	16 seasons: five more than MASH, five more than Cheers, ten more   
   than anybody wanted.  Many calls; Leno called to wish luck, Larry King   
   called to ask when he should take his pills.   
      
   	Video from Will Arnett: Hey, Conan, congrats, what a great run,   
   excited for you, we out here in sunny California are waiting for you to   
   get out here.  Arnett appears in person, as he's not lazy.  Congrats,   
   here's your last appearance, you just won a douchey award, man!   
      
   	Most popular requested bit: Conan needs a piece of equipment   
   from the prop room.  The Walter, Texas Ranger Lever!   
   	The greatest clip:  'And how're you doing little partner?'   
   'Fine!  And it's Little Visitor now.  Odawaioli's [ sp? ] how you say it   
   in Cherokee!'  'Whoa!  Pardon my French, but I'll be krunked!'  'Walker   
   told me that I have AIDS.'   
      
   	Clip: Letterman interview.  How *did* you get this job? Was it a   
   theme-writing contest?  Yes .. I was fourth.  Conan weeps, sings along   
   to _Cats_.  Clutch Cargo Bill Clinton, 'I asked her to lie dere in dat   
   position.'  Obama said he was thinking about Conan for his running mate!   
    I'm Conan O'Brien and I edited this on my Mac.  Harrison Ford stares   
   into Camera Three, to scary music and to Yakkity Sax.  Attacking Steve   
   Irwin's rubber crocodile.  Conan races down the stairs to ninja-attack   
   Max in the elevator, but Max is Rambo'd up and escaped.  The pot-smoking   
   granny, 'I love the weed'.  Conan flares his hair up.  An MC Hammer   
   backup dancer is lost in suburban New Jersey.  Conan strides around   
   naked.  William Shatner, 'I died, I get up, I go over to the producer   
   and say, I got an idea ... Captain ... uh ... uh ... ' 'Kirk'.  'Kirk'.   
   Tom hanks feels a little Christmas, more with a little bit of snow.   
   Conan In Ireland, shows family pictures and finds his castle.   
      
   	Tearing apart the set: the coffee table.  More of the railing.   
      
   	Best-of clip: Conan in Finland, where he looks like their female   
   president.  Conan gets a Betles arrival at the airport; rides a ferry   
   alone.  Snowdog-riding.  Got requests to visit people; he shows up at   
   Amy, who's not home.  Forss Fagerstrom did not send in, but he has to   
   meet Fagerstrom.  'Fagerstrom, I'm waiting!'  He's just gonna wait.   
   'Fagerstrom, I know you're in there!'  Leona Ledvinev (sp?) *is* home   
   and loves him, wearing his hat and bubbling over.  She has Pepsi.  'I   
   don't need ice, we're in Finland!'  She drinks water; what's in this?   
   She's having a conflict with her best friend over a guy, him.  Conan   
   offers Doctor Phil's advice about talking with Iona (sp ?).  They needed   
   a long break, beginning of June, yes, right, you feel like she used you,   
   yes, yes, yes, she does understand, yes, okay ... Conan gets   
   exasperated.  Would you at least get together and hug for TV cameras,   
   superficial and phony and it won't solve anything and Conan looks like a   
   good guy?  They hug on camera.  It's not actually her; Iona(?) wouldn't   
   come out so she hugged an assistant instead.   
      
   	Bumper: Conan and Hardy.   
      
   Jerry Seinfeld:   
   	Standup: Why don't people go to the gym?  He thinks we don't   
   want to stand up.  He talks about the power of chairs.  Bed beats chair;   
   it's the royalty of furniture.  There's even special beds for death.   
   What section of the furniture is the death bed, death side table, death   
   clock radio (no snooze).  Cremation's gotten more popular than huge   
   granite monuments.  Why does the brain have crazy thoughts?   
      
   	Interview: transition to Los Angeles.  Tonight Show theme: water   
   and people on phones with a woman there just too late to be on Friends.   
   Pool table: an upstate New York lite beer ad from 1987, there's people   
   there who are 28 and they're looking at a mummy entering the room.  Only   
   from Jay Leno: beautiful women but these guys are going, 'hey, look, a   
   Vespa'.  Person of color having trouble getting served at a lunch   
   counter, but  they're working on it.  Wherever you go in Los Angeles,   
   Leno's doing stand-up.  Eating with Leno; he eats quick, frightening.   
   Don't let clothing get fit in it.  (Sounds like Conan's eating habits.)   
   Family life?  All fathers must announce, 'daddy's home', and when the   
   coat's off you can stop interacting.  Avoidance is the second imprtant   
   thing, thus, golf, so time-consuming it must mean 'get out, leave   
   family', and if they wanted to golf, these clothes will stop them.   
   Conan can't discipline; Seinfeld figures what the kids like and   
   threatens to hurt the things, 'you're becoming quite fond of that   
   stuffed Curious George in your room; it would be a shame if something   
   happened to it'.  Puts heads of Play-Dough animals in their beds.   
   Seinfeld hasn't got a Blackberry (Conan does); finds Blackberry people's   
   eyes don't focus.  There's more buttons here than on your face.  All his   
   pretentious show-business friends have iPhones, but you can't slam them   
   down.  Conan made a big difference in Seinfeld's whole career, thanks to   
   the time machine.   
      
   Craig Bierko:   
   	What to expect?  Terrible place.  The sun is 22 percent brighter   
   than you think, not 'I'm going to feel what the Beach Boys sound like',   
   and instead a fist made of bleach punches you every 13 seconds.  You can   
   drive with your eyes closed, and you'll see shapes.  Conan will burst   
   into flames at the airport.  _Guys and Dolls_, he's fantastic in it.   
   Sky Masterson, greatest name.  He likes Craig and Bierko but not   
   together as it's too collision-like.  Conan saw him in _The Music Man_;   
   he was amazing.   
      
   	Montage of Conan singing: I'm-a-gonna-go-to-hell-when-I-die; She   
   was blonde-blonde-blonde-blonde-yeah; I know you let that baby firend of   
   mine ... guitar strings cut.  'The night Chicago died'.  Famous People   
   helping video.  Various gibberish songs, including from the strike.   
   Blues practice.  Singing with Ozzy Osborne and Pierre Bernard.  'Have   
   yourself a merry little Christmas'.  Singing O Danny Boy to a tiny   
   baffled Chinese staff.  Eidelweiss with Tony Randall back when Conan was   
   about seven years old.   
      
   	Closing Credits: Conan hops over the desk, gives out more   
   railing chunks.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)