From: climatebrad@gmail.com   
      
   Joe - this is amazing. Thank you for doing this! So perfect.   
      
   -- bradj.   
      
   On Friday, June 25, 2021 at 3:22:36 PM UTC-4, Joseph Nebus wrote:   
   > Suppose we've missed a few episodes here and there but, still, here's at   
   least a little catching-up on the abstracts.    
   >    
   > Conan Abstract Project Episode 1510 - 24 June 2021    
   >    
   > Cold Open: Homer Simpson does exit interview with Conan O'Brien.    
   > - Homer's there for a big star at TBS; figures it's one of the Impractical   
   Jokers. 'That time you and Sal blew up that toilet, I can't believe that guy   
   lived!'    
   > - Homer's had hundreds of jobs, at one point even a monorail conductor,   
   'What a stupid idea that was!' Conan thinks that's a nifty idea.    
   > - 'How long have you been working at Tibs?' 'I think you mean TBS.' 'Thanks   
   a lot, smart guy, but I think I know how to spell Tibs.'    
   > - Homer's favorite moment was that time Conan asked an actor if there were   
   any wacky stuff on the set of his movie and told a mildly interesting anecdote   
   and Andy fell asleep. 'You just described pretty much all the shows I've ever   
   done.' 'Good thing I    
   only saw one, then.'    
   > - How would his coworkers describe him? In one word or less. 'Irish.'   
   'Funny, you don't look Irish.'    
   > - 'You know what? I'm gonna get a pencil and write this down.'    
   > - Conan reveals his Homer-level baldness. 'Oh my god! You're beautiful! You   
   mean the world to me, Conrad!'    
   >    
   >    
   > Opening Credits.    
   > - With Jimmy Vivino and the Basic Cable Four    
   >    
   >    
   > Monologue.    
   > - Closing jump obscured by audience sign. No string dance! Conan chant   
   tamped down, 'It's getting creepy ... I know how Mussolini felt.' Andy: 'I   
   don't think you should say that.' 'I thought it all turned out well for ol'   
   Mussolini, didn't it?'    
   > - 'Our final show on TBS.' Andy: 'Wait, *what*? I just bought an amphibious   
   car!'    
   > - They've done over 4000 hours of TV. Always promised tonight was really   
   great, was often lying.    
   > - Thanks everyone at the Simpsons for the cold open, promotes this little   
   show that's never broken through.    
   >    
   >    
   > Live Over Zoom: Will Ferrel.    
   > - He's in Boston, shooting a secret project. It's Batman. 'In this version   
   he gives oral'.    
   > - Wishing all the best, excited to see what comes next. Was there for the   
   last Late Night, and the last Tonight Show, and now this. It's krunking   
   *exhausting*.    
   > - Pretapes a few goodbyes for when his next several shows flame out.    
   > - Slates, introducing 'string of Conan talk show goodbyes', claps hands   
   together.    
   > - Congratulations on HBOmax show, six episodes isn't a lot but you packed   
   enough for eight episodes.    
   > - Will from set of his Batman sequel, we all miss his late night talk-show   
   on Al-Jazeera Network. Sorry about the fatwa.    
   > - When I heard MTV3 was looking for host of new reality show, 'Videos of   
   People Dry-Humping in Trucks' you were the first name that popped into my head   
   and now, 12 seasons later ... good luck, next host Logan Paul Jr.    
   > - I wish we were done! Truly going to miss your Delta Airlines talk show   
   'Wheels up!'    
   > - YouTube won't be the same without your classic unboxing videos, such   
   reverence and wit to episodes such as Kitchen-Aid Serrated Bread Knife.    
   > - Reality Competition Show 'Celebrity Room-Temperature Oyster Eating   
   Contest' cut down by explosive diarrhea outbreak; who could have predicted?   
   Everyone.    
   > - Conan is 80% sure we have a great show tonight.    
   >    
   >    
   > [ Commercial Break ]    
   >    
   >    
   > First Section.    
   > - So many amazing guests. Here's a sample.    
   > - Steve Martin reading his diary of Conan's sluggishness.    
   > - Martin Short, would love to do the shore more often but, you know, pride    
   > - Jordan Schlansky brings Lego Millennium Falcon to Harrison Ford, who   
   trashes it    
   > - The Notebook 2 'clip'. Conan wrote Ryan Reynolds every day for a year;   
   they kiss    
   > - Tequila Slaps with not sure    
   > - Betty White is 'getting better' seeing muscle-y guy on magazine    
   > - Lord of the Rings guy showing off a prop ring; 'My Precious' guy comes in   
   and swipes it.    
   > - Will Ferrell shows off his dog-training, with maze of dog stunts to   
   perform. Absolutely none of the dogs do anything and it's all about the dogs   
   going out of control while he freaks out.    
   > - Medley of Zach Galifianakis entrances.    
   > - Woman doing impression of turtle, eats lettuce.    
   > - Woman talking about being single; it gets dirty, shocking Conan. 'Why does   
   every question I ask you go down a certain [path]?'    
   > - Blue-screen riding stunt with Tom Hanks and Woody on a motorcycle; Woody   
   gets knocked off by road sign    
   > - Andy Samberg 'and his new baby girl'; doll is riding on a chest charrier;   
   does a lot of chest-bumping, jumps on the ground and all.    
   > - That cell phone crotch trick I don't want my Dad to know about    
   > - Animal expert on; a large (iguana?) wraps their tail around Conan's leg so   
   the tail pokes out between his legs. Andy: 'Now they all know the Conan that   
   we know.'    
   > - Comic be-bop singing duet with actor I didn't recognize.    
   >    
   >    
   > [ Commercial Break ]    
   >    
   >    
   > Second Section.    
   > - Conan trying his hand at other careers, 'I hit it out of the park every   
   time.'    
   > - Mary Kay Beauty Consultant. Goes outside to stare in from the window with   
   mis-painted lips.    
   > - Commercial Actor. Scenario of being too calm while driving in crises.   
   'Wait, you're saying I hit a guy on a bike, but because I'm in such a nice   
   car, I don't give a krunk? That's crazy, this car is making me immoral!'   
   Lighting makes Conan look eight    
   years old.    
   > - Modern Dancer. Alvin Alley dance troupe. Conan gets his head edited on top   
   of a better dancer's body. Conan starts drumming, picks people who are still   
   dancing when he stops and picks them out. '*You* are now Uber drivers.'    
   >    
   >    
   > [ Commercial Break ]    
   >    
   >    
   > Third Section.    
   > - Conan Without Borders clips.    
   > - Cuba. Dancing; Cuban pay phones. Supermarket with rows of one product.   
   Manager doesn't want them filming there. Sings 'I am Nutella', other gibberish   
   with street band.    
   > - Korea. Learning the language. Creeps out language instructor. 'I don't   
   like you.' Visiting Demilitarized Zone. K-Pop video.    
   > - Armenia. Sheepherders dressed like bouncers. Conan and Sona Movsesian   
   dress in more traditional garb. Her voice drives sheep along.    
   > - Haiti. Conan desk-drumming in a schoolroom; kids join in. One kid slaps   
   his hand.    
   > - Israel. David invites Conan for coffee, thinks he's beautiful.    
   > - Australia. Male echidnas have four-pronged penises. 'Why?' 'Why not?'   
   'She's good.'    
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)