XPost: soc.culture.german, soc.men   
   From: Catonir@Catoni.net   
      
   1. He stretches the truth about his relationship status.   
      
   Somewhere between "Single" and "In A Relationship" lies a funny   
   little term called "It's Complicated." I used to think this was   
   just a thing guys said to hide the fact that they were a   
   virgin, but nowadays it's a big fat red flag.   
      
   When a gay man says, "It's complicated," you better pump the   
   breaks on your wedding planning and do your research. This man   
   is lying to you about something — and trust me, I have heard it   
   all. Here are two of my favorites:   
      
       "We are separated." While this form of honesty is great,   
   most of the time what he's really trying to say is they're on a   
   trial separation — and you may be bait to make the ex jealous.   
   You are not a sample at the food court my friend; you're a   
   steak dinner. Don't fall for this.   
       "He's my best friend." I completely believe that one can   
   have a good relationship with another guy or even an ex, but   
   one must draw the line when Instagram pictures speak louder   
   than words. Dead giveaways are when said best friend sits a   
   little too close, kisses a little too much and hashtags   
   #LoveHim in every photo. Chances are they slept together or   
   have a past relationship.   
      
   2. He claims he's "athletic" or "in shape."   
      
   This is one of my favorite lies — the weight lie! Now let's be   
   clear, this is not about being shallow. What this is about is   
   honesty.   
      
   Gay men tend to take liberty in redefining what "athletic" and   
   "in shape" means. When I say athletic, I think of someone who   
   plays sports. But what usually shows up is someone who played   
   football in high school and is looking to make sweatpants an   
   acceptable form of dinner attire. This doesn't count, guys.   
      
   The same goes for someone who says they are "in shape." That   
   doesn't mean you only drink beer and occasionally order a low-   
   carb burger; this means that you actually go to the gym and are   
   in good physical shape. Don't fall for this lie; make sure to   
   clarify his gym routine.   
      
   3. He tells you he wants a serious relationship.   
      
   One of my favorite lies that gay men tell is that they are   
   ready for a serious relationship. Sure, everything he's been   
   telling you sounds amazing, but chances are it's all fluff.   
      
   These guys are expert interviewers. Don't fall for the amazing   
   cologne and deep blue eyes. Put this guy through at least three   
   dates to see if he's serious or if he only wants to hook up.   
   Some guys love to feed you the shtick: to give you their stick   
   and then never call again.   
      
   4. He says he's "ready to date."   
      
   Sometimes a guy says he's ready, but his track record says   
   otherwise. Sure, we should all give a guy a chance, but you're   
   not a relationship teacher; you're a lover. Don't get caught up   
   in his web of excuses — you're either ready to settle down or   
   you're not. Save your time and energy for someone seriously   
   looking for commitment and not spring fling.   
      
   5. He flat-out tells you, "I'm not bitter about love, I'm just   
   a realist."   
      
   If I never meet this type of gay guy again, I would be a happy   
   person. But alas, this is the worst kind of dater. They spend a   
   good amount of time convincing everyone around them that   
   they're not jaded or bitter about finding love — but they are.   
      
   Sadly, it takes over his life. He'll try telling you he's just   
   "being real," but this, my friends, is a lie. Nothing you can   
   do will "save" his point of view, except maybe a therapist, and   
   you're likely not that.   
      
   This kind of dater needs to learn to love himself first before   
   he can love another. Bitter Betty will only suck the life and   
   happiness out of you. I always say that if you have to do any   
   remodeling in a relationship, it should only be his wardrobe.   
   More than that and it's not worth it.   
      
   So there you have it, guys. It's all about not falling for the   
   sweet sugar coating!. Dating is a serious adventure, so don't   
   be afraid to ask the big, bold questions. It weeds out the   
   players from the husbands.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)