XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >     XVII   
      
    MIKE: I usually take a 2XVII but I've been feeling light lately.   
      
   >   
   >	FATTY FINDS THE MOON   
      
     TOM: Not *that* The Moon, mind you.  A different The Moon.   
      
   >   
   >	Wandering through the woods one day,   
      
    CROW: In the very merry month of ... December.   
      
   >                                            Fatty Raccoon's bright eyes   
   > caught a strange gleam from something---something that shone and   
   > glittered out of the green.   
      
    MIKE: Oh yeah, it's Gleam Squirrel season.   
      
   >                             Fatty wanted to see what it was,   
      
     TOM: Raccoon laser eyes on.   
      
   >                                                              though he   
   > hardly thought it was anything to eat.   
      
     TOM: Oh.  Raccoon laser eyes off, then.   
      
   >                                        But whenever he came upon   
   > something new he always wanted to examine it. So now Fatty hurried to   
   > see what the strange thing was.   
   >   
   >	It was the oddest thing he had ever found---flat, round, and   
   > silvery;   
      
    CROW: Fatty discovers his first flying saucer.   
      
   >          and it hung in the air, under a tree, just over Fatty's head.   
      
    MIKE: A shower head?   
     TOM: Jeez, there's got to be nicer ways to tell him to take a bath.   
      
   > Fatty Raccoon looked carefully at the bright thing. He walked all around   
   > it, so he could see it from all sides.   
      
    MIKE: So someone hung a half-dollar from a tree?   
      
   >                                        And at last he thought he knew   
   > what it was. He made up his mind that it was the moon!   
      
     TOM: Oh, yeah, I can see where --- *what*?   
      
   >   
   >	He had often seen the moon up in the sky;   
      
    MIKE: Okay, yeah, sky, that checks out.   
      
   >                                                 and here it was,   
   > just the same size exactly,   
      
    CROW: *Exactly*?   
     TOM: I think Fatty's one of those people who doesn't believe you can see the   
   moon during the day.   
      
      
   >                             hanging so low that he could have reached   
   > it with his paw.   
      
    MIKE: 'Could have'.  Big talk there, Fatty.   
      
   >                  He saw nothing strange in that; for he knew that the   
   > moon often touched the earth.   
      
    CROW: Fatty studied astronomy at an un-accredited college.   
      
   >                               Had he not seen it many a time, resting   
   > on the side of Blue Mountain?   
      
     TOM: Uh ... all right, Counselor, I'll let this continue but you're on a   
   short leash.   
      
   >                               One night he had asked his mother if he   
   > might go up on the mountain to play with the moon; but she had only   
   > laughed.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mrs Raccoon ] 'The Moon is a cow place.  We raccoons have Toronto.'   
      
   >          And here, at last, was the moon come to him!   
      
     TOM: This is so awkward because The Moon's meeting someone else there.   
      
   >                                                       Fatty was so   
   > excited that he ran home as fast as he could go, to tell his mother,   
   > and his brother Blackie, and Fluffy and Cutey, his sisters.   
      
    MIKE: And Jimmy Rabbit's imaginary brother.   
      
   >   
   >	"Oh! the moon! the moon!" Fatty shouted.   
      
    CROW: Tattoo's catchphrase for _Fantasy Island: 1999_.   
      
   >                                                He had run so fast   
   > that, being so plump, he was quite out of breath. And that was all he   
   > could say.   
      
    MIKE: He's thinking of making Moon Pies and ... Moon cakes ...   
      
   >   
   >	"Well, well! What about the moon!" Mrs. Raccoon asked.   
      
     TOM: Moon salad, Moon pudding ...   
    CROW: Moon sausages? ... I don't know, this category's stumped me.   
      
      
   >                                                              "Anybody   
   > would think you had found it, almost." And she smiled.   
      
    CROW: Is ... is 'you found the moon' some 1915 slang or something?   
    MIKE: [ Shrugs ]   
      
   >   
   >	Fatty puffed and gasped. And at last he caught his breath   
   > again.   
   >   
   >	"Yes---I've found it! It's over in the woods---just a little way   
   > from here!" he said.   
      
     TOM: And up a considerable bit!   
      
   >                      "Big, and round, and shiny!   
      
    CROW: Huh ... well, that sounds like the Moon, sure.   
      
   >                                                  Let's all go and   
   > bring it home!"   
      
    MIKE: Oh, I don't know.  You never play with that Ceres you brought home last   
   year.   
      
   >   
   >	"Well, well, well!" Mrs. Raccoon was puzzled. She had never heard   
   > of the moon being found in those woods;   
      
     TOM: Oh, now our woods aren't good enough for the Moon?   
      
   >                                         and she hardly knew what to   
   > think. "Are you sure?" she asked.   
      
    CROW: Have you checked it for any identifying Apollo landing sites?   
      
   >   
   >	"Oh, yes, Mother!" Fatty could hardly wait, he was so eager to   
   > lead the way.   
      
     TOM: He's going to be so embarrassed when he gets back and it's just Pluto.   
      
   >               And with many a shake of the head, Mrs. Raccoon, with her   
   > family, started off to see the moon.   
      
    MIKE: This reminds her of the time Fluffy brought home a Lesser Magellanic   
   Cloud.   
      
   >   
   >	"There!" Fatty cried, as they came in sight of the bright,   
   > round thing.   
      
    CROW: Oh, that's not the Moon, that's just Callisto.   
      
   >              "There it is---just as I told you!" And they all set up a   
   > great shouting.   
      
     TOM: Finally a Raccoon Moon.   
    MIKE: Man in the Moon wearing in eye mask.   
      
   >   
   >	All but Mrs. Raccoon. She wasn't quite sure, even yet, that Fatty   
   > had really found the moon.   
      
    CROW: If this is the Moon why does it have a sticker saying Made In Queens?   
      
   >                            And she walked close to the shining thing   
   > and peered at it. But not too close!   
      
    MIKE: Screen falling off the door, door hanging off the hinges ...   
      
   >                                      Mrs. Raccoon didn't go too near it.   
   > And she told her children quite sternly to stand back.   
      
     TOM: Don't want you to get scrooched by mistake.   
      
   >                                                        It was well   
   > that she did; for when Mrs. Raccoon took her eyes off Fatty's moon and   
   > looked at the ground beneath it---well!   
      
    CROW: Wait, that's no moon ...   
      
   >                                         she jumped back so quickly that   
   > she knocked two of her children flat on the ground.   
      
    CROW: It's a space station!   
      
   >   
   >	A trap!   
      
    CROW: It's a trap?!   
    MIKE: Subverted expectations.   
      
      
   >               THAT was what Mrs. Raccoon saw right in front of her.   
      
     TOM: Sharp eyes on Mrs Raccoon.   
     MIKE: She learned from that time she tried to bring home Saturn's rings.   
      
   >                                                                     And   
   > Farmer Green, or his boy, or whoever it was that set the trap,   
      
    CROW: Like there's another person in the story?   
    MIKE: [ Shaking his fist ] Jasper Jay!   
      
   >                                                                had   
   > hung that bright piece of TIN over the trap hoping that one of her   
   > family would see it and play with it---and fall into the trap.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)