XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   > V   
      
    CROW: The Final, Belated Battle   
      
   >   
   >       SOLOMON OWL INTERRUPTS   
      
     TOM: He's wise, not polite.   
      
   >   
   >       Plump little Mr. Meadow Mouse   
      
    JOEL: ... Came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a mirror   
   and a razor lay crossed ...   
      
   >                                     wished he had stayed   
   > away from Grumpy Weasel's hunting ground.   
      
    CROW: Totally bogus to have the ground hunting you.  The sky never does that   
   cop stuff.   
      
   >                                           He would have   
   > scampered off, had he not known that Grumpy could overtake   
   > him before he had made three leaps.   
      
     TOM: Hear me out now, what if you take two leaps?   
    CROW: One leap and a jaunty pirouette?   
      
   >                                     So he saw no way out of   
   > his trouble,   
      
     TOM: Maybe declare bankruptcy?   
      
   >              though he could think of nothing less agreeable   
   > than trying to slip through a small hole with Grumpy Weasel   
   > close at hand, watching him narrowly.   
      
    JOEL: I don't know, Grumpy seems to be pretty positive about this.   
      
   >   
   >       Then all at once Mr. Meadow Mouse had an idea.   
      
     TOM: Wait, it won't help if you try and stop Christmas from coming.   
      
   >                                                      "You   
   > go first!" he said politely. "Go through any hole you choose   
   > and then I'll try my luck."   
      
    JOEL: Let's go inside and take this outdoors!   
      
   >   
   >       But Grumpy Weasel was too crafty to do that.   
      
    CROW: He had a huge pile of origami blocking the hole.   
      
   >   
   >       "You'd try your luck at running away," he snarled.   
      
     TOM: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'I'd try my skill, too!'   
      
   > "You are the one to go first; and we'll have no words about   
   > it."   
      
    JOEL: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'Can I at least gulp a little?'   
      
   >   
   >       Well, Mr. Meadow Mouse began to shake more than ever.   
      
    CROW: He's getting his groove on!   
      
   >   
   >       "Don't you think," he quavered, "that we'd better   
   > wait a few days until I'm a bit smaller?   
      
     TOM: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'I'm growing down, you know.  It's like growing up   
   but the other way around?'   
      
   >                                          I'm afraid I've been   
   > overeating lately and I might get stuck in a hole.   
      
    CROW: Well, what if the hole eats something and grows a bit?   
      
   >                                                    And of   
   > course that would be awkward."   
      
    JOEL: Oh, we'd pretend not to look, don't worry.   
      
   >   
   >       "Ha, ha!" Grumpy Weasel actually laughed. But it was   
   > not what any one could call a hearty, wholesome, cheerful   
   > sort of laugh. On the contrary, it sounded very cruel and   
   > gloating.   
      
    CROW: Oh, great, he's an Internet snarker.   
    JOEL: [ Coughing, embarrassed ]   
      
   >   
   >       "Hoo, hoo!" Another laugh---this one weird and   
   > hollow---boomed out from the hemlock tree just above Mr.   
   > Meadow Mouse's head.   
      
    CROW: Huh, huh?   
     TOM: o/` They're coming to take me away! o/``   
      
   >   
   >       He jumped, in spite of himself---did Mr. Meadow   
   > Mouse.   
      
    JOEL: A wink of his eye and a twist of his head ...   
      
   >        And so, too, did Grumpy Weasel. Both of them leaped   
   > for the old stone wall.   
      
    TOM: [ As JOEL swings his arms like a baseball umpire ] 'SAFE!'   
      
   >                         And each flashed into a crevice   
   > between the stones,   
      
    JOEL: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'Oh uh ... hi.  Funny meeting you here?'   
      
   >                     though Grumpy Weasel was ever so much the   
   > quicker of the two. They knew Solomon Owl's voice too well to   
   > mistake his odd laughter.   
      
    CROW: Whose?   
    JOEL: Naturally.   
      
   >   
   >       "What's your hurry, gentlemen?" Solomon called to   
   > them.   
      
     TOM: Solomon Grund-Owl, born on a Mond-Owl.   
      
   >   
   >       Mild Mr. Meadow Mouse made no reply.   
      
    JOEL: Couldn't quite nail the alliteration.   
      
   >                                            But from Grumpy   
   > Weasel's hiding place an angry hiss told Solomon Owl that one   
   > of them, at least, had heard his question.   
      
    CROW: Oh no!  Daniel Snake is leaking!   
      
   >   
   >       "Come out!" said Solomon Owl. "Don't be shy! I've   
   > dined already."   
      
     TOM: I just want to snuggle!   
      
   >   
   >       Well, that made the two in the wall feel somewhat   
   > bolder.   
      
    CROW: Going to ruin things if animals ever discover lying.   
      
   >         And soon they ventured to peep out and gaze at   
   > Solomon, to see whether he looked like a person who had just   
   > enjoyed a good meal.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Solomon ] 'I didn't say I *enjoyed* it, just that I *ate* it.'   
      
   >   
   >       "You're not as hollow as you sound, I hope," Grumpy   
   > Weasel remarked with some suspicion in his tone.   
      
     TOM: ... the heck?   
    CROW: No, no, the logic checks out.   
      
   >   
   >       As for Mr. Meadow Mouse, he wouldn't dream of making   
   > so rude a remark.   
      
    JOEL: But he's already composing his review on Bird Yelp.   
    CROW: [ As Meadow Mouse ] 'Is that a bird?  Y-elp!'   
      
   >   
   >       "It's a fine evening and I hope you're feeling   
   > happy," he piped.   
      
     TOM: Is he signalling for a spy?  The smoked cabbage never swings the light   
   anchor.   
      
   >   
   >       "Oh, very! Very!" said Solomon Owl solemnly.   
      
    JOEL: How does a beak make those 'V' sounds?   
      
   >   
   >       Mr. Meadow Mouse was a trusting sort of chap   
      
    CROW: Hardly a week went by a friend didn't trick him into looking up   
   'gullible' in the dictionary.   
     TOM: [ Way too defensive ] Not believing it until you saw the word missing   
   is the *opposite* of gullible!   
    CROW: [ Snickering ]   
      
   >                                                    He was   
   > all ready to leave his cranny. But Grumpy Weasel was not yet   
   > satisfied.   
      
    JOEL: Not letting you go until you regret talking to him: the Grumpy Weasel   
   Guarantee!   
      
   >   
   >       "Which one of us are you answering?" he demanded of   
   > Solomon.   
      
    CROW: Was ... was there a question?   
     TOM: No, but you can take an idle curiosity out of petty thoughts.   
      
   >   
   >       "Him!" said Solomon.   
      
     TOM: That devil guy from the Powerpuff Girls?  The heck?   
      
   >   
   >       "Did you say, 'Ahem?'" Grumpy Weasel wanted to know.   
   >   
   >       "No, no!" Solomon assured him.   
      
    CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'Well, could you?  I've go a great joke I need you to set   
   up.'   
      
   >                                      "I said, 'him.' I was   
   > answering your friend."   
      
     TOM: But Grumpy Weasel is a friend to everybody!   
      
   >   
   >       Grumpy Weasel made a wry face, as if he did not care   
   > to have anybody speak of Mr. Meadow Mouse as a friend of his.   
      
     TOM: Well, almost everybody!   
      
   > And he did not quit the stone wall   
      
    JOEL: Oh, you can't just quit a stone wall, you have to give them time to   
   train your replacement wall.   
     TOM: Replacement well ...   
      
   >                                    until he had seen Mr.   
   > Meadow Mouse venture forth in safety.   
   >   
   >       "Just by accident I overheard your remarks a few   
   > minutes ago," Mr. Owl explained.   
      
    CROW: Well, Solomon Owl sure wasn't using any hunting ground.   
      
   >                                  "I'd like to watch this   
   > hole-crawling contest.   
      
    JOEL: Pleasant Valley does not have smart phones yet.   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)