XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >       IX   
      
     TOM: That's one of those obscure moons of Saturn, right?   
    JOEL: Looking forward to meeting Queen Zixi.   
      
   >   
   >       SAVING HIS FEET   
      
    CROW: For marriage.   
      
   >   
   >       Old Mr. Crow and Jimmy Rabbit had a good laugh over   
   > Grumpy Weasel's plan for a race with Jimmy. They thought it a   
   > great joke.   
      
    JOEL: Maybe you had to be there.  Wait, we were!   
      
   >   
   >       "He needn't give me a start," Jimmy said.   
      
     TOM: 'Needn't'.   
      
   >                                                 "I can beat   
   > Grumpy easily."   
   >   
   >       "Never mind that!" Mr. Crow advised.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] 'Well, I can *not* beat him even more easily!'   
      
   >                                            "You might as   
   > well let him have his way.   
      
     TOM: You needn't make him all grumpy.   
      
   >                            He'll look all the more foolish,   
   > trying to catch up with you."   
      
    JOEL: Now into your clown suit and remember to let your pants fall down!   
      
   >   
   >       So Jimmy Rabbit agreed to run the race as Grumpy   
   > Weasel wished,   
      
     TOM: Only two more wishes and Jimmy goes back into the magic lamp!   
      
   >                saying that he was ready to start at once.   
      
    CROW: Zoom!   
    JOEL: [ As Maxwell Smart ] 'Would you believe starting at *twice*?'   
      
      
   >   
   >       But Mr. Crow told him he had better wait till the   
   > next day.   
      
     TOM: Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after ...   
      
   >           "That will give me time to tell everybody," he   
   > explained,   
      
    CROW: Including Santa Claus and Princess Ozma of the Land of Oz!   
      
   >            "and then there'll be a big turnout to see you   
   > win---and to jeer at Grumpy Weasel for losing."   
      
     TOM: Wasn't this the plot of 'It's Motocross, Charlie Brown'?   
      
   >                                                 And one could   
   > tell from Mr. Crow's remark   
      
    JOEL: That he's one sassy bot.   
    CROW: He's different.   
      
   >                             that he liked Jimmy Rabbit and   
   > that he despised Grumpy Weasel.   
      
    CROW: Or that he's playing both sides against the middle.   
      
   >   
   >       The next day proved to be a fine one for the race.   
      
     TOM: [ Grumbling ] Man, 25 bucks fine for racing ...   
      
   >                                                          It   
   > wasn't too hot nor too cold;   
      
    JOEL: It was threatening to be a little too medium.   
      
   >                              and early in the morning the   
   > field- and forest-people began gathering at Grumpy Weasel's   
   > hunting ground,   
      
    CROW: Mmm, buffet.   
      
   >                 where the stone wall touched the clearing.   
      
     TOM: Watch out for holes!   
      
   >   
   >       About the only persons that objected to the time set   
   > for the race were Benjamin Bat and Solomon Owl.   
      
     TOM: Minor characters get alliterative names, real characters get normal   
   names.   
      
   >                                                 Benjamin said   
   > that he could never keep awake to watch it;   
      
    CROW: We *get* it, Benjamin, you're not a racing fan.  Stop dissing us who   
   *are*.   
      
   >                                             and Solomon   
   > complained that he couldn't see well in the daytime.   
      
    JOEL: But they're not *racing* a well.   
      
   >                                                      But all   
   > the rest of the company were in the best of spirits, giggling   
   > slyly whenever they looked at Grumpy Weasel,   
      
     TOM: He-he-he-he-hah   
    JOEL: Mwuh-uh-ha-hah-haa!   
    CROW: [ High-pitched cackling ]   
      
   >                                              who seemed to   
   > pay scant heed to his neighbors,   
      
     TOM: I love whenever Scant Heed To His Neighbors comes up on the indie   
   station.   
      
   >                                  though you may be sure his   
   > roving black eyes took in everything that was going on.   
      
    JOEL: Tale of *Greedy* Weasel.   
      
   >                                                         He   
   > seemed more restless than ever as he waited for Jimmy Rabbit   
   > to arrive,   
      
    CROW: Well, how restless *is* Ever?   
    JOEL: Ever Egret.   
      
   >            walking to and fro on his front legs in a most   
   > peculiar fashion,   
      
     TOM: It's called warming up, Narrator!   
      
   >                   while he kept his hind feet firmly planted   
   > on the ground in one spot.   
      
    JOEL: Restless *Some* Legs Syndrome.   
      
   >                            Of course he could never have   
   > moved about in this manner had his body not been so long and   
   > slender.   
      
    CROW: Fatty Raccoon in the background, not moving at all.   
      
   >   
   >       Noticing Grumpy's strange actions, old Mr. Crow   
   > looked worried   
      
    CROW: No, I figure Grumpy knows what he's doing!   
      
   >                and asked him what was the matter.   
      
     TOM: Bubble wrap rehearsals.   
      
   >                                                   "I hope   
   > your hind feet aren't troubling you, just as the race is   
   > about to begin," he said.   
      
    JOEL: Maybe his ankles are too tight, ever think about that?   
      
   >   
   >       Grumpy Weasel hissed at the old gentleman before he   
   > replied:   
      
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Sorry, my tire cap was loose.'   
      
   >          "Don't worry! You'll soon see that my hind feet can   
   > travel as fast as my front ones---   
      
    JOEL: That feels like a threat, somehow.   
    CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'And then I'll show those fools at the Academy!'   
      
   >                                   when I want to use them."   
      
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'But when I remove them from their box they lose a lot of   
   value so I want to be sure this is worth it.'   
      
   >   
   >       "Ah!" Mr. Crow exclaimed knowingly.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mr Crow ] 'I have no idea what you just told me!'   
      
   >                                           "He's saving his   
   > hind feet for the race."   
      
     TOM: Yeah, close enough.   
      
   >   
   >       When Jimmy Rabbit reached the gathering place, coming   
   > up in a long lope,   
      
    CROW: I love those old-fashioned vehicles like jitneys and phaetons and lopes   
   and everything.   
      
   >                    Mr. Crow hurried to meet him.   
      
    JOEL: Mr Crow, do you just want to race Jimmy?  Is that your game?   
      
   >   
   >       "I advise you to save your hind feet," he whispered.   
      
     TOM: Don't spend them all in one place.   
      
   > "Grumpy Weasel is saving his."   
      
    CROW: Just in case the boss battle really needs feet.   
      
   >   
   >       Jimmy Rabbit told Mr. Crow, with a smile, that he had   
   > saved his hind feet all his life---and his front ones, too.   
      
    JOEL: El-Ahrairah looking at Jimmy after this going, 'Eh, I guess.  Fine.'   
      
   >   
   >       "I've brought them along to-day,"   
      
    JOEL: Even though I needn't.   
      
   >                                         he said, "to help   
   > me win this race."   
      
    CROW: My feet, and the weasel-proof tape at the finish line.   
      
   >   
   --   
                                                                   Joseph Nebus   
    Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com   
   Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com   
   --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)