XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   > X   
      
    JOEL: Oh no, this chapter's all about the Quadratic Equation.   
      
   >   
   >       HA! AND HA, HA!   
      
     TOM: Hey, it's the Betty Boop cartoon with the laughing gas.   
      
   >   
   >       A great outcry rang through the woods   
      
    JOEL: Somebody catch it!   
      
   >                                             the moment   
   > Jimmy Rabbit set out to race Grumpy Weasel and beat him.   
      
     TOM: Gotta think about your life when everyone you know wants to see you be   
   worse at running.   
      
   > Shouts of "Good luck!" and "Run hard!" and "Hurrah for James   
   > Rabbit!" followed Jimmy.   
      
    JOEL: 'Hurrah', because Lee de Forest hadn't invented 'Hooray' yet.   
      
   >                          But old Mr. Crow squawked, "You   
   > don't need to hurry!"   
      
    CROW: You just need to be faster than the other guy!  ... Wait.   
      
   >                       He thought that the race was already as   
   > good as won,   
      
    JOEL: Or as good as as good as won would be.   
      
   >              for Grumpy Weasel had insisted on giving Jimmy   
   > Rabbit a start of twenty jumps.   
      
     TOM: And now Grumpy Weasel reveals he meant elephant jumps.   
      
   >   
   >       Meanwhile Grumpy Weasel glowered.   
      
    CROW: A now-obscure word meaning to glow red.   
    JOEL: Gladiola flowered (glowered).   
      
   >                                         But he could not   
   > glower at Jimmy's friends,   
      
     TOM: He has a strict schedule for when to glower at rabbit friends.   
      
   >                            because he had to watch Jimmy   
   > himself in order to count the first twenty jumps he took.   
      
    CROW: One jump into hyperspace and Grumpy won't be able to follow, kid.   
      
   > When Grumpy had counted nineteen and a half away he started.   
      
     TOM: Hey, that's cheating by half a jump.   
      
   > And old Mr. Crow, as he sat staring at the race, declared   
   > that Grumpy Weasel hadn't a chance to win.   
      
    JOEL: Really wondering what Mister Crow's angle on this is.   
      
   >   
   >       The company seemed ready to take Mr. Crow's word for   
   > it---   
      
     TOM: You know the old folklore about crows knowing their rabbit/weasel   
   racing lore.   
      
   >      that is, all except Grumpy Weasel's cousin, Peter Mink.   
      
    CROW: The polecat.   
      
   > He spoke up and said that as for him, he would wait and see   
   > what happened.   
      
    JOEL: The huge vote of confidence that is saying 'I guess he hasn't lost yet.'   
      
   >                He didn't believe old Mr. Crow knew what he   
   > was talking about.   
      
    CROW: It's a crow thing, you wouldn't understand.   
      
   >   
   >       Mr. Crow grew almost a purplish black with rage.   
      
     TOM: Is this something to do with eggs?  I feel like this is really about   
   eggs.   
      
   >   
   >       "We'll all wait," he said stiffly. "We'll all wait.   
      
    CROW: Well, Jimmy and Grumpy can't wait or the race won't work.   
      
   > And when the race is over you will apologize to me."   
      
     TOM: [ As Peter Mink ] 'Jeez, fine, if it's that important to you then Jimmy   
   Rabbit is gonna win, take a chill pill.'   
      
   >   
   >       Peter Mink merely grinned. He had no respect for his   
   > elders.   
      
    JOEL: [ Gasping at this gossip ] Peter Mink is a cad!  And bounder!   
    CROW: Jimmy Rabbit's the bounder.   
      
   >         And now he didn't appear to mind in the least when   
   > the entire company let him severely alone.   
      
     TOM: It shows real strength of character to disagree with the crowd about   
   who you think will win a footrace.   
      
   >   
   >       Mr. Crow shot a triumphant look   
      
    JOEL: Aaah!  My antique ceramic Look!   
      
   >                                       at him about an hour   
   > later,   
      
    CROW: Mister Crow is on Central Time.   
      
   >        when Jimmy Rabbit came bounding into sight, with no   
   > one following him.   
      
     TOM: Having got badly lost on the way to the race course.   
      
   >                    "You may as well stop now," Mr. Crow told   
   > Jimmy. "You've as good as won the race already."   
      
    JOEL: I know they're animals but they don't seem very good at this.   
      
   >   
   >       Jimmy Rabbit said that he thought so, too,   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy, as The Wizard of Oz ] 'But I can't stop my legs, I don't   
   know how they work!'   
      
   >                                                  but he   
   > supposed he'd better keep running a while longer, till Grumpy   
   > Weasel gave up.   
      
     TOM: This was a pretty good scheme for Grumpy to get Jimmy to run an hour   
   away from him.   
      
   >                 So off he hopped again.   
      
    JOEL: Next, Jimmy runs up to meet Dick Tracy.   
      
   >   
   >       Everybody except Peter Mink laughed heartily   
      
    CROW: Daniel Hart the deer asks what's so funny.   
      
   >                                                    when   
   > Grumpy Weasel came springing up the slope a little while   
   > later.   
      
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'I want my two dollars!'   
      
   >   
   >       "You may as well stop now. You've as good as lost   
   > already," Mr. Crow greeted him.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'I am not lost, I just don't know where I am!'   
      
   >   
   >       "Whose race is this---yours or mine?" Grumpy Weasel   
   > hissed.   
      
     TOM: It's the rat race.   
    JOEL: No, Billy Rat's not racing until sunset.   
      
   >         And off he hurried, without pausing to hear Mr.   
   > Crow's answer.   
      
    CROW: How long does it take to hear 'Yours'?   
      
   >   
   >       "We'll wait a while longer," Mr. Crow told the   
   > company,   
      
    JOEL: How else would waiting work?   
      
   >          "for the end is so near we may as well see it."   
      
     TOM: Is ... Is Mr Crow forecasting the apocalypse?   
      
   >   
   >       "Whose end?" Peter Mink asked him.   
      
    CROW: *Anyone's* end, as long as it's Henry Kissinger's.   
      
   >   
   >       "I mean the end of the race, of course!" Mr. Crow   
   > squalled.   
      
    JOEL: Oh no, they accidentally looped back, the race is a Moebius strip!   
      
   >   
   >       "Oh! I thought you meant the end of Jimmy Rabbit,"   
   > Peter Mink replied.   
      
    CROW: [ As Elmer Fudd ] o/` End of Jimmy Wabbit o/`   
      
   >   
   >       "Impossible! Impossible!"   
      
     TOM: Burgers!  Burgers!   
      
   >                                 was all Mr. Crow said to   
   > that. But he began to fidget---which was a sign that he was   
   > worried.   
      
    JOEL: Or he's stimming, did you think of that, Mr Narrator ?   
      
   >          And when Jimmy Rabbit appeared again Mr. Crow was   
   > not quite so cocksure when he asked if the race wasn't over.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mr Crow ] Cocksure?  No, no, I'm crow-sure, if I know anything   
   it's that.   
      
   >   
   >       "It would be," Jimmy Rabbit answered, "but the   
   > trouble is, Grumpy Weasel won't stop running!"   
      
     TOM: [ As Grumpy, distant ] 'I'm stuck in second gear!  HEEEELP!'   
      
   >   
   >       "Ha!" said Mr. Crow hoarsely.   
      
    JOEL: Let me hear what Mr Horse crows now.   
      
   >                                     But Peter Mink said,   
   > "Ha, ha!"   
      
    CROW: Almost ended the chapter on the title, neat.   
      
   >           And there is a great difference between those two   
   > remarks, as we shall see.   
      
     TOM: Hey!  The Narrator peeked ahead!  That's cheating!   
      
      
   - End of Chapter 10   
      
      
   --   
                                                                   Joseph Nebus   
    Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com   
   Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com   
   --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)