XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >       XIV   
      
    JOEL: So that's eleven less than five, this is chapter minus four?   
    CROW: Sounds right.   
      
   >   
   >       GRUMPY VANISHES   
      
     TOM: Is ... is the book over?   
      
   >   
   >       Grumpy Weasel   
      
     TOM: Guess not.   
      
   >                     was quick to see   
      
    CROW: Yeah, we know he's quick, that was the whole Jimmy Rabbit race.   
      
   >                                      that fat Mrs. Hen   
   > swallowed every word he said as greedily as if it had been an   
   > angleworm.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'Hey, I only eat diet angleworm.'   
      
   >            "Yes! You have a fine house here," he said.   
      
     TOM: [ As Groucho ] 'I've had a fine house here but this isn't it.'   
      
   >                                                        "But   
   > of course you're crowded," he added gloomily,   
      
    JOEL: Ever since that four-star review in Better Nests and Gardens.   
      
   >                                               to show Mrs.   
   > Hen that he knew she had no place for him.   
      
    CROW: Is ... is he looking for ... _snugglebunnies_?   
    JOEL: Not since Jimmy Rabbit escaped.   
      
   >   
   >       "Oh! Not at all!" Mrs. Hen assured him.   
      
     TOM: It's called a sub-efficiency apartment and there's really lots of space   
   once you move everything out into the hall.   
      
   >   
   >       "And the door's always shut tight at night," he   
   > added, "on account of that prowling Tommy Fox."   
      
    CROW: Have you ever considered that Tommy Fox only prowls around because he's   
   wondering why you're shutting the door so tight?   
      
   >   
   >       "Yes! We have to be careful," said Mrs. Hen.   
      
     TOM: Hence our choice to wear helmets all the time.   
    CROW: *Hens* our choice.   
      
   >   
   >       "And there's Peter Mink, too," Grumpy went on.   
      
    JOEL: Hey, he was your biggest fan in the Jimmy Rabbit race!   
      
   >                                                      "Don't   
   > leave an opening big enough for him!   
      
     TOM: Give him the slightest conversational opening and he'll talk to you for   
   hours!   
    CROW: He has *opinions* about the 1960s Popeye cartoons.   
      
   >                                      He can get through a   
   > small hole, too---any that's big enough for his head."   
      
    JOEL: Smaller than that, if he leaves his head at home.   
      
   >   
   >       At that Mrs. Hen looked startled, as if she had just   
   > remembered something that made her feel uneasy.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'My rat closet!'   
      
   >   
   >       "He couldn't get through a rat hole, could he?" she   
   > inquired nervously.   
      
    CROW: I started on a rat hole but I couldn't get past the first thirty pages.   
      
   >   
   >       "Why---there isn't one here, is there?" Grumpy asked.   
      
    JOEL: I want to know how many holes it takes to fill Ratigan's hall?   
      
   >   
   >       "There is an old one," she admitted. "It hasn't been   
   > used in my time."   
      
     TOM: But an ancient prophecy speaks of a great uniter of the rats who will   
   someday emerge from it.   
      
   >   
   >       "If I could see it I'd know at once whether Pete   
   > could crawl through it," Grumpy Weasel said,   
      
    CROW: Or you could just ask Pete?   
      TOM: Maybe it would be more convenient to take the hole to Pete and see if   
   it fits around him?   
      
   >                                              talking to   
   > himself---or so it seemed to Mrs. Hen.   
      
    JOEL: [ As though just now realizing ] OH!   
      
   >   
   >       "I'll show it to you gladly!" she cried.   
      
    CROW: I'm sorry, Grumpy Weasel can't do anything gladly.   
      
   >                                                "Do come   
   > right in and look at our rat hole, Mr. Weasel!"   
      
     TOM: Please don't mind the clutter, it's a bit of a rat's nest around the   
   hole --- oh say!   
      
   >   
   >       As she spoke, Mrs. Hen started for the henhouse.   
      
    CROW: Oh, you keep the hole *inside* the henhouse, how elegant.   
      
   >                                                        And   
   > after her crept Grumpy Weasel,   
      
     TOM: Being creepy.   
      
   >                                hoping that nobody else would   
   > see him.   
      
    JOEL: You don't want to cause a scene with Mr Hen.   
      
   >          So far as he could tell, the hens were all out of   
   > doors, scratching in the dirt.   
      
    CROW: Boy, the ground is *itchy* today!   
      
   >                                But suddenly Mrs. Hen's   
   > jealous neighbor began to set up a great squawking,   
      
     TOM: It's the Great Squawking, Charlie Brown.   
      
   >                                                     calling   
   > upon Mrs. Hen to be careful, for she was in great danger.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'How does my being careful help you with your great   
   danger?'   
    JOEL: [ As Neighbor ] 'No, no, I mean ... you know what, go ahead.'   
      
   >   
   >       Fat Mrs. Hen turned about with a vexed look upon her   
   > handsome but somewhat stupid face.   
      
     TOM: Stupid face!  Read a book sometime, face, it'll do you good!   
      
   >   
   >       "Walk right in!" she said to Grumpy.   
      
    CROW: [ Singing 'The Walking Blues' ] o/` Walk right out, walk right in, walk   
   right out o/`   
      
   >                                            "I must stop and   
   > settle with her. She has gone too far."   
      
     TOM: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'Imagine a neighbor preferring I were not dead!'   
    CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'I can't, it's like imagining a square circle or   
   something.'   
      
      
   >                                         And leaving Grumpy to   
   > find the rat hole without her help,   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'Just go up the ladder and take a right at the   
   grizzly-bear hole, you can't miss it!'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Wait, there's a grizzly bear hole?'   
     JOEL: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'Yes, but you'll never see a rat use it!'   
      
   >                                     Mrs. Hen fluttered across   
   > the henyard with her head thrust forward,   
      
    JOEL: o/` She clucks right in ... o/`   
      
   >                                           to give her   
   > meddlesome neighbor a number of hard pecks and so teach her   
   > to mind her own affairs.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mrs Hen ] '*Now* am I a woman of scandalous virtue or what?'   
      
   >   
   >       With a low chuckle   
      
    JOEL: A low dishonest chuckle.   
      
   >                          Grumpy Weasel slipped inside the   
   > henhouse,   
      
     TOM: Whoops!   
    CROW: THUD!   
      
   >           where he found himself quite alone.   
      
    JOEL: Apart from that Henry Bemis guy.   
      
   >                                                It took him but   
   > a few moments to discover in one corner of the building the   
   > old rat hole of which Mrs. Hen had spoken.   
      
     TOM: He's going to dare the Ninja Turtles to a race and grab Splinter.   
      
   >   
   >       And then he went to the door and looked out,   
      
    CROW: Look out!   
   [ ALL duck ]   
      
   >                                                    for Mrs.   
   > Hen and her neighbor were making a terrific racket.   
      
     TOM: Oh, they must really like playing tennis together!   
      
   >                                                     He saw   
   > the end of the squabble. And soon Mrs. Hen came running back,   
   > with her feathers sadly rumpled, and her comb awry.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mrs Hen ] 'Yeah so we've got yetis and they're not nice.'   
      
   >   
   >       "I settled with her," she gasped. "And now tell me   
   > about the rat hole.   
      
    CROW: What, with your comb awry like that?   
      
      
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