XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >       XXII   
      
     TOM: Eggs and eyes?!   
      
   >   
   >       GRUMPY'S THREAT   
      
    CROW: He warns he's going to break into song.   
    JOEL: o/` I'm mean ... you know what I mean ... o/`   
      
   >   
   >       Meeting Grumpy Weasel in the woods one day, Tommy Fox   
      
     TOM: Tommy Fox?  The Dodgers pitcher?   
      
   > stopped to have a chat with him.   
      
    JOEL: Oh, it's so nice to bring a chat, split it with friends, dip it in tea   
   ...   
      
   >                                  He always liked to chat with   
   > Grumpy, it was so easy to get him angry, and such fun to see   
   > him fly into a passion.   
      
     TOM: Hey, that's mean!   
    CROW: That's like two-thirds of you and me hanging out, Tom.   
      
   >   
   >       "You're looking very elegant in your winter suit,"   
   > Tommy Fox remarked. "White is becoming to you   
      
    JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'Yes, white be coming to me every winter and be leaving   
   every summer.'   
      
   >                                              ---there's no   
   > doubt of that. And that black tip on the end of your tail is   
   > just what's needed to complete your costume.   
      
     TOM: Without it your tail would be infinitely long.   
      
   >                                              It matches your   
   > eyes nicely.... You must have a good tailor."   
      
    CROW: Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs Robinson?   
      
   >   
   >       People were apt to be wary of Tommy Fox when fine   
   > words dripped from his mouth like that.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Tommy ] 'Dripped?  I enunciate clearly, my good narrator!'   
      
   >                                         It usually meant that   
   > he was bent on some mischief.   
      
     TOM: Never ignore the predator's drive to just mess with folks.   
      
   >                               And now Grumpy Weasel looked at   
   > him suspiciously.   
      
    CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'Well, we've known each other our entire lives but I'm   
   only going to act on what you say and do right this minute.'   
      
   >   
   >       "If you admire my clothes so much why don't you get   
   > some like them?" he demanded.   
      
    JOEL: Jeez, learn to take a compliment, Grumpy.   
      
   >   
   >       Tommy Fox shook his head mournfully.   
      
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'No, no, we foxes must be Naked Boot People if we're to   
   remain true to the model of Sonic's sidekick Tails.'   
      
   >   
   >       "I'd like to," he said, "but I'm too humble a person   
   > to dress like a king, in ermine.   
      
     TOM: By the Dead Milkmen.   
      
   .                                  My family have always worn   
   > red.   
      
    CROW: Foxes stand for the liberation of the world from class warfare.   
      
   >      The neighbors wouldn't know me in anything else.   
      
    JOEL: What about your Robin Hood costume?   
      
   >                                                       Or if   
   > they did they'd say I was putting on airs."   
      
     TOM: And if I want to put on airs I'm going to dress all in balloons.   
      
   >   
   >       "If you want to know what I think, I'll tell you that   
   > red's entirely too good for you," Grumpy Weasel sneered.   
      
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'What do you think of orange for me?'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Too loud.'   
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'How about green?'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Too immature.'   
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'Fuchsia?'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Nothing but vaporwave purple!'   
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'Chartreuse?'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'That ought to be what we call heliotrope!'   
      
   >   
   >       Tommy Fox smiled somewhat sourly. Grumpy Weasel's   
   > remark did not please him.   
      
     TOM: Hey, *you* started it.   
      
   >                            But he managed to say nothing   
   > disagreeable.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'I disagree!'   
      
   >   
   >       "I suppose," he went on, "you've met the newcomer in   
   > our valley who dresses as you do, in white and black?"   
      
    CROW: Johnny Cash and his evil twin?   
    JOEL: Boss Hogg and his good twin?   
     TOM: Pepe le Pew?   
      
   >   
   >       "What's that you say?" Grumpy Weasel barked.   
      
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'That'?   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Yes, that that!  That's the that you said!'   
      
   >                                                    "Who's   
   > gone and copied my cold-weather clothes?   
      
    CROW: Grumpy believes in fashion copyrights!   
      
   >                                          If I meet him I'll   
   > make it hot for him."   
      
    JOEL: Grumpy's going to be so embarrassed when it's Mildred Weasel.   
     TOM: Funny thing is on a date he's a perfect charmer.   
      
   >   
   >       "Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned the matter,"   
   > Tommy Fox said softly. "I don't like to displease you.   
      
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'Well!  Say, did you ever think of re-racing Jimmy Rabbit?'   
      
   >                                                        And I   
   > don't want to get a stranger into trouble either,   
      
    JOEL: But that's the best kind of Western, where a stranger's in trouble.   
      
   >                                                   just as he   
   > has come to spend the winter amongst us.   
      
     TOM: Black-and-white visitor for the winter ... are they getting polar   
   bears?  Or penguins?   
      
   >   
   >       "And besides," Tommy added, "it would be a shame for   
   > you to quarrel with the stranger because he happens to choose   
   > your favorite colors.   
      
    CROW: Quarrel over something meaningful instead, like a Star Wars movie.   
      
   >                       That only goes to show that your tastes   
   > are alike."   
      
    JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'Well, I do like tasting people.'   
      
   >   
   >       "That's exactly what I object to!" Grumpy Weasel   
   > complained, getting much excited.   
      
     TOM: [ As Chico Marx ] 'I abject!'   
      
   >                                   "If his tastes are the same   
   > as mine he'll want to come and hunt along my stone wall.   
      
    CROW: Hey, you only use that stone wall to check for holes going halfway   
   through!   
      
   >                                                          And   
   > there'll be trouble if he does that! The fur will fly!"   
      
    JOEL: Turns out the visitor is a hot-air-balloon and ...   
      
   >   
   >       Tommy Fox turned his head away,   
      
     TOM: Sorry, no room on the shoulders, already got Snuffy Smith filling up   
   the spot.   
      
   >                                       for he simply had to   
   > enjoy a grin and he didn't want Grumpy Weasel to see it.   
      
    CROW: Y'know the law says your boss has to give you one break to grin for   
   every four hours you work.   
      
   >   
   >       "I'm sorry I spoke about the stranger," he said   
   > glibly,   
      
     TOM: I just assumed you had read Camus.   
      
   >         as soon as he could keep his face straight.   
      
    JOEL: Oh, he's corpsing, they're going to have to do the whole scene over.   
      
   >                                                     "But I   
   > thought the news would please you."   
      
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'Ah well, off to mess with Albert Alligator's head.'   
      
   >   
   >       "It would certainly please me to meet him," Grumpy   
   > Weasel declared fiercely.   
      
    JOEL: Careful, this is how Miles Archer got it.   
      
   >                           "And it would please me much more   
   > than it would him, I can tell you."   
      
     TOM: [ As Tommy ] 'Imagine that!'   
      
   >   
   >       "It wouldn't be treating a newcomer well to let him   
   > wander through the woods when you feel as you do about him.   
      
    CROW: If the stranger's a birch tree he's just being part of the woods.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)