XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >       XXIII   
      
    CROW: The Pope John story.   
      
   >   
   >       A BOLD STRANGER   
      
     TOM: Starring Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall!   
      
   >   
   >       Tommy Fox had carefully kept from Grumpy Weasel the   
   > name of the stranger who was dressed like Grumpy,   
      
    JOEL: Grumpy's long-lost father, Poopdeck Weasel.   
      
   >                                                   in white   
   > and black. It happened that he wore feathers---this newcomer.   
      
    CROW: I hope he numbers them for just this sort of occasion.   
      
   > And that was one reason why Tommy Fox had had to grin when   
   > Grumpy threatened to "make the fur fly" when he met the   
   > unknown.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Tommy ] 'It's good wordplay because there's two ways you can read   
   it as literally absurd!'   
      
   >   
   >       Another reason why Tommy had laughed at Grumpy's   
   > blustering was that the stranger was quite able to take care   
   > of himself in a fight.   
      
     TOM: *Also* his loved ones, don't you worry.   
      
   >                        He belonged to the Snowy Owl family,   
      
    JOEL: I thought it was the Superb Owl everyone talks about online in February?   
      
   > being bigger, even, than Solomon Owl.   
      
    CROW: *Bigger* than Solomon Owl?  That's getting, like, Beatles levels of big.   
      
   >                                       And what with his   
   > hooked beak and his strong talons he was a dangerous fellow   
   > to meet.   
      
     TOM: Worse, he's got *opinions* and he's going to *share* them.   
      
   >          Although Grumpy Weasel could easily handle a rabbit   
   > or a wild duck a dozen times his own size,   
      
    JOEL: What about a hundred wild ducks the size of a rabbit?   
      
   >                                            because they were   
   > unarmed, he would have had no chance at all with Mr. Snowy   
   > Owl.   
      
    CROW: Well *he's* unarmed too!  Those are *wings*.   
      
   >   
   >       All this made Tommy Fox chuckle and grin,   
      
     TOM: [ As Tommy ] 'I'm getting someone killed today!  Win!'   
      
   >                                                 as he left   
   > Grumpy and loped off towards Cedar Swamp,   
      
    CROW: Just think, someday they're gonna build a Point here.   
      
   >                                           where Mr. Snowy Owl   
   > was spending the winter. Unlike Solomon Owl, and his cousin   
   > Simon Screecher,   
      
    JOEL: Simon's Creature?   
     TOM: No, no, Simon Screecher.   
    JOEL: That's what I said, Simon's Creature.   
     TOM: Oh, you ....   
      
   >                  Mr. Snowy Owl did not turn night into day.   
      
    CROW: So what good is he, then?   
      
   > So Tommy Fox found him wide awake and ready for a fight or a   
   > frolic, whichever might come his way.   
      
    CROW: Ooh, take the frolic!  Take the frolic!   
     TOM: The fight!  Take the fight!   
    JOEL: Door number two!   
      
   >   
   >       He was a handsome bird---this newcomer---   
      
    JOEL: [ As Snowy ] 'I know.  The camera loves me.'   
      
   >                                                in his showy   
   > white suit, spotted with black.   
      
     TOM: Oh, what with the paparazzi think?   
      
   >                                 And he gave Tommy Fox a bold,   
   > hard look, acting for all the world as if he had spent his   
   > whole life in Pleasant Valley, instead of merely two short   
   > weeks.   
      
    CROW: What makes a short week?   
    JOEL: It's when they have a holiday in the middle.   
      
   >   
   >       Now, Mr. Snowy Owl knew a good deal about such   
   > rascals as Tommy Fox.   
      
    JOEL: For example, Peter Mink or Jimmy Rabbit's 'brother'.   
      
   >                       So he said at once, "What's on your   
   > mind, young man? You've come here on mischief   
      
    JOEL: I think he means 'you've come here on *a* mischief'.   
      
   >                                               and you needn't   
   > deny it."   
      
    CROW: [ Leaning over ] Yeah, _Tom_!   
     TOM: Hey!   
      
   >   
   >       Well, Tommy Fox saw that he couldn't deceive Mr. Owl   
   > very much.   
      
    CROW: Or Mister Crow, thank you.   
      
   >            So he grinned at him and told him about the talk   
   > he had just had with Grumpy Weasel.   
      
    JOEL: Shouldn't someone instead have a talk with the Beaver?   
      
   >   
   >       "He's so eager to meet you it would be too bad to   
   > disappoint him," Tommy observed.   
      
    CROW: [ As Snowy ] 'Ah, but if we are destined to meet, we will, and we can't   
   hurry it; if we're destined not to meet, we will not, and there's no sense   
   trying.'   
      
   >                                  "He wants the fur to fly,   
   > you know."   
   >   
   >       Although he had no ears   
      
     TOM: o/` To hold him down ... o/`   
      
   >                               (at least, so far as could be   
   > seen)   
      
    CROW: OOOOh, I bet his secret ears are going to be a huge plot point, watch   
   for it!   
    JOEL: Spoilers, Crow.   
    CROW: The story is not a spoiler for itself!   
      
   >       Mr. Snowy Owl had listened closely to Tommy Fox's   
   > story.   
      
     TOM: [ As Snowy ] 'Kind of spoiling the story by telling it, aren't you?'   
    CROW: No!   
      
      
   >        And he must have heard plainly enough, for he said   
   > quickly that he would call on Grumpy Weasel that very day.   
      
    JOEL: You can't call on a weasel!  You need a *phone*!   
      
   > "I'll start right now," he said,   
      
    CROW: [ Schoolmarm-ish ] It's not how you *start*, it's how you *finish*.   
      
   >                                  "and I'll reach Grumpy   
   > Weasel's hunting ground before you're out of the swamp."   
      
     TOM: Oh, and Grumpy's going to be in swamp right when Snowy's in the hunting   
   grounds, this is going to be so *good8!   
      
   >   
   >       "I wish you'd wait a bit, till I can get there   
   > myself," Tommy Fox told him.   
      
    CROW: [ As Tommy ] 'I'd get there faster but my arms don't work!'   
     TOM: [ Whining to a parent ] Joel!   
      
   >   
   >       Mr. Snowy Owl agreed to that.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Snowy ] 'But someday I will call on you for a favor.'   
      
   >                                     And after lingering   
   > until he thought Tommy must have had time to run   
      
     TOM: Time to hide.  Break on through.  To the other side.   
      
   >                                                  and find   
   > Grumpy Weasel he rose above the tops of the cedars   
      
    CROW: [ As Snowy ] 'Wh- whoa!  Wait!  Didn't mean to do that!'   
      
   >                                                    and sailed   
   > off to join them himself.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Snowy ] 'Wait!  How does this thing woooorrrrrk?'   
      
   >   
   >       "I'm glad I came here to spend the winter," he   
   > muttered.   
      
     TOM: [ As Snowy ] 'It's so affordable!  I bet I get one or two weeks of   
   March back in change!'   
      
   >           "Everybody's been very pleasant so far.   
      
    JOEL: Well, you know why they call it Pleasant Valley, right?   
    CROW: [ As Snowy ] 'Why's that?'   
    JOEL: 'Cause it's a valley!   
      
   >                                                   And after   
   > people hear how I've settled with this Weasel person   
      
    CROW: It's 1915, so will it be fisticuffsmanship?   
      
   >                                                       the   
   > folks in Pleasant Valley will be pretty polite to me, or I'll   
   > know the reason why."   
      
     TOM: Oh, Snowy is a metaphysical philosopher, interesting specialization.   
      
   [ End of Chapter 23 ... ]   
      
   --   
                                                                   Joseph Nebus   
      
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   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)