XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >       XXV   
      
    CROW: XX versus *what*?   
      
   >   
   >       PETER MINK'S PROMISE   
      
     TOM: Ah, the boundless potential of a young mink.  Or an adult mink.  I   
   don't know Peter Mink's deal yet.   
      
   >   
   >       It happened, on a bleak winter's day,   
      
    JOEL: 'It'?   
    CROW: [ As Arthur Scott Bailey ] 'Yes, it!  Give me a little time to think   
   what it was!'   
      
      
   >                                             that Grumpy   
   > Weasel was strolling along the bank of Broad Brook   
      
     TOM: Member, FDIC.   
      
   >                                                    when all   
      
    JOEL: Yeah, I remember FDIC.   
     TOM: What?   
      
   > at once he heard a squall. Instantly he whirled around.   
      
    CROW: Snowy Owl is robbing the bank!  Quick, call Duck Tracy!   
      
   >                                                         There   
   > was something about the cry that sounded familiar.   
      
     TOM: The cry came in without knocking and put their feet up on the coffee   
   table and everything.   
      
   >                                                    And while   
   > he searched the stream up and down with his sharp eyes he   
   > grew angrier every moment.   
      
    JOEL: But that's a story for _The Tale of Angry Weasel_.   
      
   >   
   >       "Unless I'm mistaken that's my good-for-nothing   
   > cousin, Peter Mink," Grumpy muttered.   
      
     TOM: So we have Fatty Raccoon, Grumpy Weasel ... what would make a Mink more   
   pete?   
    CROW: Pete, Peter, Petest.   
      
   >                                       "I'll teach him not to   
   > squall at me---the rascal!"   
      
    JOEL: Heck, *I* know how not to squall at you and I never even met you.   
      
   >   
   >       He did not have to look long before he caught sight   
   > of his cousin.   
      
     TOM: The glimpses have migrated for the season.   
      
   >                Peter Mink was crouched under the overhanging   
   > bank,   
      
    CROW: Part of Snowy Owl's gang?  This is bad.   
      
   >       not far from the edge of the frozen surface of the   
   > brook.   
      
    CROW: Not as the me flies, anyway.   
      
   >        And he squalled again when he saw that Grumpy had   
   > discovered him.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Grumpy ] 'Enough with the heavy rains and wind gusts!'   
      
   >   
   >       "Stop that!" Grumpy Weasel bellowed.   
      
     TOM: No, I'm sorry, the line is 'Cut it out'.  You'll never be Sargent   
   Cosgrove at this rate.   
      
   >                                            He was not   
   > greatly afraid of Peter Mink,   
      
    CROW: It was a pretty mediocre fear.   
      
   >                               though his cousin was much   
   > bigger than he.   
      
     TOM: Wait, minks are bigger than weasels?   
    JOEL: I guess?   
    CROW: Would Arthur Scott Bailey lie to us?   
      
   >                 "I'll have you know that I don't allow people   
   > to bawl at me, even if we are distantly related."   
      
    JOEL: Does he have to bring that up every time they talk?   
    CROW: [ As Grumpy ] '*Yes*.'   
      
   >   
   >       "I wasn't bawling at you," Peter Mink answered.   
      
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Did you say bawling or bowling?'   
    CROW: [ As Peter ] 'Bawling, why.'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'Wasn't sure, but I know whatever you're doing isn't   
   bowling.'   
      
      
   >                                                       And   
   > he was strangely polite, for him.   
      
    JOEL: How?  Did he tip his hat?   
      
   >                                   "I was calling for help.   
   > Can't you see that my foot is caught in a trap?"   
      
     TOM: [ As Peter, with exaggerated kindness ] 'My good gentleweasel?'   
      
   >   
   >       At that Grumpy jumped down upon the ice and took a   
   > good look at Peter Mink.   
      
    CROW: Take a good look, leave a good look.   
      
   >                          He saw, then, that Peter spoke the   
   > truth.   
      
    JOEL: Aw, it's just caught in a financial trap.   
    CROW: It's not the amount so much as it is the *interest*.   
      
   >        "This trap hurts my foot, I can tell you," Peter Mink   
   > whined.   
      
     TOM: He's taking this with the same calm I would, only I don't have a foot.   
      
   >   
   >       "Maybe it will teach you not to screech at people,"   
   > Grumpy told him.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Peter ] 'Hey, I helped when you were trapped in that bottle!'   
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'No you did not!'   
    JOEL: [ As Peter ] 'Well, I didn't mock you through it all.'   
      
   >   
   >       "You're going to help me, aren't you?" Peter Mink   
   > asked his cousin anxiously.   
      
     TOM: [ As Grumpy ] 'I don't know, should I help a relative even if he cries   
   for help when he's in deadly peril?'   
      
   >   
   >       "That trap belongs to Farmer Green's hired man,"   
      
    CROW: Why does Farmer Green need a Chevrolet sales manager who puts   
   handkerchiefs on his head?   
      
   > Grumpy informed Peter Mink. "I saw him when he set it there.   
      
     TOM: I don't know how this sells cars but hey, he gets results.   
      
   > Perhaps you would like to have me send word to him that   
   > you're using it."   
      
    JOEL: _The Tale of Jerky Weasel_.   
      
   >   
   >       "Oh! Don't do that!" Peter begged piteously.   
      
     TOM: [ As Peter ] 'I didn't pay the deposit!  He'll get me in fees!'   
      
   >   
   >       "Well, then---suppose I get old dog Spot to come and   
   > see what he can do!   
      
    CROW: He could smell bottles for you?   
      
   >                     He'd have you out of that trap in no   
   > time!"   
      
    JOEL: [ As Peter ] 'Oh, I'm sorry, I wanted to be out in good time.'   
      
   >   
   >       But that suggestion didn't suit Peter Mink any   
   > better.   
      
     TOM: How is a dog supposed to open a trap, anyway?   
      
   >   
   >       "For goodness' sake, can't you think of something   
   > else?" he wailed.   
      
    CROW: [ As Grumpy ] 'I was thinking of popcorn.  I could go back to that.'   
      
   >   
   >       His voice rose higher and higher as he spoke.   
      
    JOEL: He better not be getting ready to kill Eddie Valiant's brother.   
      
   >                                                     And   
   > Grumpy Weasel showed his sharp teeth as he warned Peter Mink   
   > again not to squall at him, for he wouldn't stand it.   
      
     TOM: Boy, Peter just getting all tense about his imminent death and stuff.   
      
   >   
   >       At last Peter saw that Grumpy did not intend to help   
   > him at all.   
      
    CROW: He's stumbling over that line that separates 'grumpy' from 'kinda evil'.   
      
   >             So it occurred to him that perhaps he could hire   
   > his cousin to free him from the trap.   
      
    JOEL: Oh, if only animals had money!  Now Peter has to hope they can barter   
   something instead.   
      
   >                                       "I'd do anything for   
   > you if you could help me out of this fix," he said finally.   
      
     TOM: o/` But I won't do that.  o/``   
      
   >   
   >       "Will you drive Mr. Snowy Owl away from Pleasant   
   > Valley?" Grumpy cried.   
      
    CROW: [ As Peter ] 'Before I get my learners permit?'   
      
   >   
   >       "Certainly!" said Peter Mink with great promptness,   
   > as if that were the easiest matter in the world.   
      
    CROW: [ As Peter ] 'What the heck, I'll learn to drive stick!'   
      
   >   
   >       That answer surprised Grumpy Weasel.   
      
    JOEL: He assumed Peter already knew how to drive stick.   
      
   >                                            He had no idea   
   > that Peter Mink could do any such thing. And he said as much,   
   > too.   
      
     TOM: [ As Peter ] 'Well, why'd you ask me if you didn't think I could do   
   it?  Is this some *game* to you?'   
      
   >   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)