XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >         [Illustration: 2 Troublesome Mr. Mink]   
      
    JOEL: [ Pointing to a spot ]  Well, here's your trouble.   
     TOM: Some of your trouble.   
      
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 2   
      
    CROW: Secrets of the Castle.   
      
   >   
   >         Troublesome Mr. Mink   
      
    CROW: o/` Sleeps in the pink // shaves in the dink // trying to save paper o/`   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit arrived home somewhat out of breath.   
      
    JOEL: Lucky he was running to the Breath Shop.   
      
   >                                                           But   
   > he was still happy, for he thought that he had shaken off   
   > that troublesome Mr. Mink.   
      
     TOM: The Mink Manther.   
      
   >                            And he had no idea that Mr. Mink   
   > knew where he lived.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mr Mink ] 'I'm your next-door neighbor!'   
      
   >   
   >         Now, it happened that old Mr. Crow's story about   
   > Jimmy's new tail had reached Mr. Mink's ears.   
      
    CROW: And once Mr Mink found his ears boy was Jimmy going to be in trouble.   
      
   >                                               And as soon as   
   > he heard it he had inquired where Jimmy Rabbit lived.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Again, next-door neighbor!'   
      
   >   
   >         Mr. Crow had told him.   
      
     TOM: Fink.   
    CROW: Am not!   
      
   >                                And he took another look at   
   > Mr. Mink.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mr Mink ] You like what you see?   
     TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] You know, my spine goes all the way down.   
    JOEL: What?   
      
   >   
   >         "I notice you've lost your tail," he said.   
      
    CROW: [ Tutting ] Gambling.   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes!" Mr. Mink answered. "Farmer Green threw an axe   
   > at me once.   
      
     TOM: Oh no!  Farmer Green's a *hipster*?   
      
   >             And it cut off my tail, as you see.   
      
    CROW: The *heck*?   
    JOEL: Arthur Scott Bailey turned *dark* for this one!   
   >                                                 I left that   
   > neighborhood then; and never cared to return to it.   
      
     TOM: Yeah, I don't blame you there.   
      
   >                                                     But if   
   > this young Rabbit boy has found my tail, I shall certainly   
   > claim it at once."   
      
    JOEL: Now wait a minute, this could be *any* brutally severed mink tail   
   Jimmy's got.   
     TOM: Do we know it's not the Fantastic Mister Fox's tail?   
      
   >                    So off he went. And Mr. Crow nodded his   
   > head wisely.   
      
    CROW: Well of *course*.  [ He nods ]   
      
   >              It was just as he had said! There was trouble   
   > ahead for Jimmy Rabbit   
      
     TOM: Yeah, good going stirring up the Drama, Crow.   
      
   >                       --or, you might say, there was trouble   
   > _behind_ for him;   
      
    JOEL: *Might* you?   
    CROW: Well, *you* might.   
      
   >                   for it was that handsome red tail, you   
   > remember, that was the cause of it all.   
      
     ALL: Ooooooooh.   
     TOM: Now I get it.   
      
    CROW: It's 1916, so I guess you can listen to a 78 for ninety seconds and   
   then agree the Zimmerman Telegram looks like mischief.   
      
   >                  when all at once somebody else decided it   
   > for him. For all at once a slim, red gentleman rushed at   
   > Jimmy, crying, "Give me my tail! I want my tail!"   
      
    JOEL: And I want my two dollars too!   
      
   >   
   >         It was Mr. Mink! And Jimmy Rabbit ran off as fast as   
   > he could go.   
      
     TOM: [ Crying out, warning ] Tree!   
    CROW: Bam!   
      
   >   
   >         "This is my tail!" he called over his shoulder.   
      
    JOEL: There are many like it but this one is mine!   
      
   >                                                         "I   
   > found it. And I'm not going to give it up to anybody."   
      
     TOM: To any *body*, get it?   
    JOEL: ... No?   
      
   >   
   >         But Mr. Mink hurried after Jimmy.   
      
    CROW: Fair.   
      
   >                                           To be sure, Jimmy   
   > left him far behind. But Mr. Mink kept following.   
      
    JOEL: Oh, it's not to be fair, it's to be sure.   
      
   >                                                   It was very   
   > annoying, for Jimmy knew that sooner or later that   
   > troublesome gentleman would be on his heels again.   
      
     TOM: Arthur, why not say he was going to be on his _tail_ again?   
      
   >   
   >         There was no use of Jimmy's crawling into any hole,   
      
    CROW: Does it have to be useful?  Can't you just crawl into any hole for the   
   artistry of it?   
      
   > for he was four times as big as Mr. Mink; and, of course,   
   > anywhere he went, Mr. Mink could easily follow.   
      
     TOM: Have you considered just stepping on Mr Mink?   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit didn't know what to do. Mr. Mink had   
   > terribly sharp teeth. And he was very angry.   
      
    CROW: Maybe you could be the bigger person, Jimmy?   
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] 'I *am*!  I'm four times his size!'   
      
   >                                              But Jimmy was   
   > not angry at all. _He_ didn't want to fight.   
      
    CROW: He *is* the bigger person.   
      
   >   
   >         While he was trying to think of some way out of his   
   > trouble, something suddenly pulled him backward.   
      
     TOM: Oh no!  Frith picked an *awful* time to talk!   
      
   >                                                  Looking   
   > around, he saw Mr. Mink with his cruel teeth fastened in that   
   > beautiful red tail.   
      
    JOEL: Hey, stop biting yourself!   
      
   >   
   >         "Let go of me!" Jimmy Rabbit cried.   
      
     TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Ah, just pulling your tail, kiddo.'   
    CROW: Pull the other one, it's got bells on.   
      
   >   
   >         But Mr. Mink didn't say a word. In order to speak, he   
   > would have had to drop that precious tail.   
      
    JOEL: You gotta have your priorities straight, yeah.   
      
   >                                            And he had no idea   
   > of doing that. Besides, there was nothing he wanted to say.   
      
    CROW: I don't know, I'd ask to see what my tail looks like from behind.   
      
   > There was no use of his calling, "Stop, thief!" when he had   
   > already stopped him, you know.   
      
     TOM: Maybe a quick J'accuse, tough?   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit pulled with all his might. And Mr. Mink   
   > dug his four feet into the ground and pulled with all of   
   > _his_.   
      
    CROW: You know this is what it was like when tug-of-war was in the Olympics.   
      
   >   
   >         And then, the first thing Jimmy knew, he fell   
   > forward, head over heels.   
      
     TOM: Head over heels is ... standing.   
      
   >                           He was up in a jiffy, and off like   
   > a flash, running like the wind.   
      
    CROW: And threw open the sash.   
      
   >   
   >         But this time Mr. Mink did not follow.   
      
    JOEL: Can you try repeating it in different words for him?   
      
   >   
   >         When at last Jimmy sat down to rest he discovered why   
   > it was that Mr. Mink had stopped chasing him.   
      
     TOM: Mr Mink saw this cat who'd accidentally got painted and ...   
      
   >                                               His beautiful,   
   > new, red tail was gone! The bit of string had broken under   
   > all that pulling.   
      
    CROW: Nooo!  That was Mister Sparrow's string!   
      
   >                   And now Jimmy Rabbit had no tail except his   
   > own.   
      
    JOEL: Really, can anyone have any tail except their own?   
      
   >   
   >         "Where's your fine, bushy tail?" Mr. Crow asked Jimmy   
   > the next morning.   
      
    CROW: Heh heh heh ... I'm setting him up for *such * a stinger.   
      
   >   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)