XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: junetunes@tilde.club   
      
   On 12/31/24 17:57, Joseph Nebus wrote:   
   >>   
   >>   
   >>   
   >>   
   >>          [Illustration: 2 Troublesome Mr. Mink]   
   >   
   >   JOEL: [ Pointing to a spot ]  Well, here's your trouble.   
   >    TOM: Some of your trouble.   
   >   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          Chapter 2   
   >   
   >   CROW: Secrets of the Castle.   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          Troublesome Mr. Mink   
   >   
   >   CROW: o/` Sleeps in the pink // shaves in the dink // trying to save paper   
   o/`   
   >   
   >>   
   >>   
   >>          Jimmy Rabbit arrived home somewhat out of breath.   
   >   
   >   JOEL: Lucky he was running to the Breath Shop.   
   >   
   >>                                                            But   
   >> he was still happy, for he thought that he had shaken off   
   >> that troublesome Mr. Mink.   
   >   
   >    TOM: The Mink Manther.   
   >   
   >>                             And he had no idea that Mr. Mink   
   >> knew where he lived.   
   >   
   >   JOEL: [ As Mr Mink ] 'I'm your next-door neighbor!'   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          Now, it happened that old Mr. Crow's story about   
   >> Jimmy's new tail had reached Mr. Mink's ears.   
   >   
   >   CROW: And once Mr Mink found his ears boy was Jimmy going to be in trouble.   
   >   
   >>                                                And as soon as   
   >> he heard it he had inquired where Jimmy Rabbit lived.   
   >   
   >    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Again, next-door neighbor!'   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          Mr. Crow had told him.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Fink.   
   >   CROW: Am not!   
   >   
   >>                                 And he took another look at   
   >> Mr. Mink.   
   >   
   >   CROW: [ As Mr Mink ] You like what you see?   
   >    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] You know, my spine goes all the way down.   
   >   JOEL: What?   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          "I notice you've lost your tail," he said.   
   >   
   >   CROW: [ Tutting ] Gambling.   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          "Yes!" Mr. Mink answered. "Farmer Green threw an axe   
   >> at me once.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Oh no!  Farmer Green's a *hipster*?   
   >   
   >>              And it cut off my tail, as you see.   
   >   
   >   CROW: The *heck*?   
   >   JOEL: Arthur Scott Bailey turned *dark* for this one!   
   >>                                                  I left that   
   >> neighborhood then; and never cared to return to it.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Yeah, I don't blame you there.   
   >   
   >>                                                      But if   
   >> this young Rabbit boy has found my tail, I shall certainly   
   >> claim it at once."   
   >   
   >   JOEL: Now wait a minute, this could be *any* brutally severed mink tail   
   Jimmy's got.   
   >    TOM: Do we know it's not the Fantastic Mister Fox's tail?   
   >   
   >>                     So off he went. And Mr. Crow nodded his   
   >> head wisely.   
   >   
   >   CROW: Well of *course*.  [ He nods ]   
   >   
   >>               It was just as he had said! There was trouble   
   >> ahead for Jimmy Rabbit   
   >   
   >    TOM: Yeah, good going stirring up the Drama, Crow.   
   >   
   >>                        --or, you might say, there was trouble   
   >> _behind_ for him;   
   >   
   >   JOEL: *Might* you?   
   >   CROW: Well, *you* might.   
   >   
   >>                    for it was that handsome red tail, you   
   >> remember, that was the cause of it all.   
   >   
   >    ALL: Ooooooooh.   
   >    TOM: Now I get it.   
   >   
   >   CROW: It's 1916, so I guess you can listen to a 78 for ninety seconds and   
   then agree the Zimmerman Telegram looks like mischief.   
   >   
   >>                   when all at once somebody else decided it   
   >> for him. For all at once a slim, red gentleman rushed at   
   >> Jimmy, crying, "Give me my tail! I want my tail!"   
   >   
   >   JOEL: And I want my two dollars too!   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          It was Mr. Mink! And Jimmy Rabbit ran off as fast as   
   >> he could go.   
   >   
   >    TOM: [ Crying out, warning ] Tree!   
   >   CROW: Bam!   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          "This is my tail!" he called over his shoulder.   
   >   
   >   JOEL: There are many like it but this one is mine!   
   >   
   >>                                                          "I   
   >> found it. And I'm not going to give it up to anybody."   
   >   
   >    TOM: To any *body*, get it?   
   >   JOEL: ... No?   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          But Mr. Mink hurried after Jimmy.   
   >   
   >   CROW: Fair.   
   >   
   >>                                            To be sure, Jimmy   
   >> left him far behind. But Mr. Mink kept following.   
   >   
   >   JOEL: Oh, it's not to be fair, it's to be sure.   
   >   
   >>                                                    It was very   
   >> annoying, for Jimmy knew that sooner or later that   
   >> troublesome gentleman would be on his heels again.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Arthur, why not say he was going to be on his _tail_ again?   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          There was no use of Jimmy's crawling into any hole,   
   >   
   >   CROW: Does it have to be useful?  Can't you just crawl into any hole for   
   the artistry of it?   
   >   
   >> for he was four times as big as Mr. Mink; and, of course,   
   >> anywhere he went, Mr. Mink could easily follow.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Have you considered just stepping on Mr Mink?   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          Jimmy Rabbit didn't know what to do. Mr. Mink had   
   >> terribly sharp teeth. And he was very angry.   
   >   
   >   CROW: Maybe you could be the bigger person, Jimmy?   
   >   JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] 'I *am*!  I'm four times his size!'   
   >   
   >>                                               But Jimmy was   
   >> not angry at all. _He_ didn't want to fight.   
   >   
   >   CROW: He *is* the bigger person.   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          While he was trying to think of some way out of his   
   >> trouble, something suddenly pulled him backward.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Oh no!  Frith picked an *awful* time to talk!   
   >   
   >>                                                   Looking   
   >> around, he saw Mr. Mink with his cruel teeth fastened in that   
   >> beautiful red tail.   
   >   
   >   JOEL: Hey, stop biting yourself!   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          "Let go of me!" Jimmy Rabbit cried.   
   >   
   >    TOM: [ As Mr Mink ] 'Ah, just pulling your tail, kiddo.'   
   >   CROW: Pull the other one, it's got bells on.   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          But Mr. Mink didn't say a word. In order to speak, he   
   >> would have had to drop that precious tail.   
   >   
   >   JOEL: You gotta have your priorities straight, yeah.   
   >   
   >>                                             And he had no idea   
   >> of doing that. Besides, there was nothing he wanted to say.   
   >   
   >   CROW: I don't know, I'd ask to see what my tail looks like from behind.   
   >   
   >> There was no use of his calling, "Stop, thief!" when he had   
   >> already stopped him, you know.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Maybe a quick J'accuse, tough?   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          Jimmy Rabbit pulled with all his might. And Mr. Mink   
   >> dug his four feet into the ground and pulled with all of   
   >> _his_.   
   >   
   >   CROW: You know this is what it was like when tug-of-war was in the   
   Olympics.   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          And then, the first thing Jimmy knew, he fell   
   >> forward, head over heels.   
   >   
   >    TOM: Head over heels is ... standing.   
   >   
   >>                            He was up in a jiffy, and off like   
   >> a flash, running like the wind.   
   >   
   >   CROW: And threw open the sash.   
   >   
   >>   
   >>          But this time Mr. Mink did not follow.   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)