XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 3   
   >   
   >         May Baskets   
      
    JOEL: May baskets _what_?   
     TOM: May baskets bless and keep your New Year's resolution to be organized.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit was very busy.   
      
     TOM: How busy is that?   
    CROW: Oh, maybe six or seven.   
      
   >                                     He was getting ready for   
   > May Day. And he intended to hang two May baskets.   
      
    JOEL: Fer cattle rustlin'!   
      
   >                                                   One of them   
   > was already finished,   
      
    CROW: So don't go thinking he does everything at the last moment.   
      
   >                       and filled with things that Jimmy   
   > himself liked--such as strips of tender bark from Farmer   
   > Green's young fruit trees,   
      
    JOEL: Well, naturally.   
      
   >                            and bits of turnip from his   
   > vegetable cellar.   
      
     TOM: Cellar turnips?  Jimmy *does* know how to live!   
      
   >                   You might almost think that Farmer Green   
   > himself ought to have hung that basket.   
      
    CROW: Yeah, if you're a dupe.   
      
   >                                         But Jimmy Rabbit   
   > never once thought of such a thing.   
      
    JOEL: Did Farmer Green write this paragraph?   
      
   >                                     He expected to hang it on   
   > the door of a neighbor's house, where there lived a young   
   > girl-rabbit.   
      
     TOM: [ Singing 'Marion, the Librarian' ] Marion, the li-bunny-an ...   
      
   >              Jimmy had made that basket the best he knew how.   
      
    CROW: Please remember, this is before you could look up how-to videos.   
      
   >   
   >         The one he was working on now was a very different   
   > sort of basket.   
      
    JOEL: The kind he didn't best knew how.   
      
   >                 But then--you see, he intended to give it to   
   > a very different sort of person. He was going to hang _this_   
   > one on Henry Skunk's door.   
      
     TOM: He better not be putting a basket of soap together, that's being mean.   
      
   >   
   >         Frisky Squirrel, who happened to be passing Jimmy's   
   > house,   
      
    CROW: Hold on.  Fatty Raccoon, Grumpy Weasel, Jimmy Rabbit, Henry Skunk,   
   Frisky Squirrel, do all Arthur Scott Bailey's characters have two-syllable   
   first names ending in 'y'?   
     TOM: You know his friends called him Arty Scotty Bailey.   
      
   >        stopped and watched him. And he was surprised to learn   
   > that Jimmy was going to give a May basket to Henry Skunk.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Frisky ]  I didn't even know you cared about Henry!  Or whatever   
   it means when you give someone a May basket!   
      
   >   
   >         "What are you going to put in it?" Frisky asked.   
      
    CROW: International labor solidarity literature.   
      
   >   
   >         "Hens' eggs!" said Jimmy Rabbit.   
      
     TOM: [ As offended ]  Yeah --- well --- the bee's knees right back at you!   
      
   >   
   >         That surprised Frisky Squirrel still more. If it had   
   > been a joke--a trick of some sort--   
      
    JOEL: A prank, in the manner of some jackanapes's caper.   
      
   >                                    that Jimmy was going to   
   > play on Henry Skunk, he could have understood that.   
      
     TOM: Yes, I for one totally know enough about Henry Skunk to favor playing a   
   practical joke on him!   
      
   >                                                     But hens'   
   > eggs! Why, everyone knew how fond of hens' eggs Henry Skunk   
   > was!   
      
    CROW: Well, duh, you already *said* Henry Skunk.   
      
   >   
   >         "I thought you didn't like Henry Skunk," Frisky said.   
      
     TOM: What with how he never brings you May baskets and all.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, can't I hang a May basket on his door just the   
   > same?" asked Jimmy.   
      
    JOEL: Checks out, there's nothing in the rule book that says a rabbit can't   
   hang a May basket on a skunk's door.   
      
   >   
   >         Frisky Squirrel said he supposed so--but it was a   
   > strange thing to do.   
      
     TOM: Why are you putting Mr Mink's tail in Henry Skunk's May basket?   
      
   >   
   >         "Look out he doesn't catch you when you're doing it!"   
      
    CROW: Make him go to the airwave and offer a reward for information leading   
   to the capture of whoever put a May basket on his door!   
      
   > he warned Jimmy. Henry Skunk was a quarrelsome fellow.   
      
     TOM: He had a vast, deep pit you could dig rocks from and sometimes film an   
   episode of the original Doctor Who.   
      
   >                                                        There   
   > was no knowing what he wouldn't do if he caught anyone tying   
   > anything to his doorknob.   
      
    JOEL: I mean, we can think of *some* things he wouldn't do, like he probably   
   wouldn't single-handedly dig the Panama Canal.   
      
   >                           "By the way," Frisky added, "where   
   > did you get the hens' eggs?"   
      
    CROW: Hens'eggs dot cluck.   
      
   >   
   >         "Down at Farmer Green's!" Jimmy said.   
      
     TOM: Where the values never stop !   
      
   >   
   >         "I suppose there are lots more," said Frisky.   
      
    JOEL: What a peculiar thing to suppose out loud.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit smiled.   
   >   
   >         "Not like these!" he said.   
      
    CROW: Oh, Jimmy, are you collecting basilisk eggs again?   
      
   >   
   >         "I suppose you had to be careful not to break   
   > them--bringing them so far," Frisky Squirrel remarked.   
      
    JOEL: What are you, Frisky, the broken-egg-prank police?   
      
   >   
   >         "Oh, it's easy when you know how," Jimmy Rabbit told   
   > him.   
      
     TOM: It gets a lot easier to not break eggs when you don't throw them at   
   trees.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, Henry Skunk will break them fast enough, when   
   > he finds them," Frisky said.   
      
    CROW: You know you can't break a few eggs without making a Henry Skunk.   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes, he'll break them!" Jimmy Rabbit laughed.   
   > "That's just the point! _He'll break them!_"   
      
    JOEL: [ Cackling ]  He'll break them!  It's foolproof!   
      
   >                                              You notice that   
   > Jimmy didn't say what it was that Henry Skunk would break.   
      
     TOM: Yeah, everyone who doesn't know how antecedents to pronouns work   
   noticed that.   
      
      
   [ End of the chapter!  What! Will! Happen!  And more baffling, why? ]   
      
   --   
                                                                   Joseph Nebus   
    Math Blog: https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com   
   Humor Blog: https://nebushumor.wordpress.com   
   --------------------------------------------------------+---------------------   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)