XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 9 Playing Leap-Frog]   
      
     TOM: Daniel Frog doesn't think this is so much fun.   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 9   
      
    JOEL: You know drop one word of this chapter into a narrative and it'll _all_   
   become Chapter 9.   
      
   >   
   >         Playing Leap-Frog   
      
    CROW: Or 'playing *at* leap-frog' as my friends and I like to say.  Ha ha ha   
   ha, we have fun.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         There was great joy in the woods.   
      
     TOM: Was Bambi just born again?  I bet it's Bambi was just born!   
      
   >                                           Jimmy Rabbit had   
   > promised to teach his friends a new game.   
      
    JOEL: Is this a game or is it just wheelbarrows again ?   
      
   >                                           Frisky Squirrel and   
   > Billy Woodchuck, Fatty Raccoon and Tommy Fox, were all on   
   > hand to have their share of the fun.   
      
     TOM: Fatty asks if he can have an extra helping of fun.   
      
   >   
   >         "What's the game called?" Frisky Squirrel asked.   
      
    CROW: 'Let's Eat Maggie'.   
      
   >   
   >         "It's leap-frog," Jimmy told him.   
      
    JOEL: I thought that was only years divisible by four?   
      
   >   
   >         "Shucks!" said Fatty Raccoon. "The frog's not here   
   > yet.   
      
     TOM: Maybe the frog lept away?   
      
   >      And we can't do anything till _he_ comes."   
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit laughed.   
      
    CROW: _She_ has been here all the time!   
      
   >   
   >         "You don't need a frog to play leap-frog," he said.   
      
     TOM: You doorknob.   
    JOEL: Do I not need to leap?   
     TOM: Let's hold questions until I've explained it.   
      
   > "Just squat down in front of me and I'll show you how it's   
   > done."   
      
    CROW: I haven't had many good experiences with squatting.  Is this me or is   
   there something wrong with squats?   
      
   >   
   >         Frisky Squirrel did just as Jimmy told him to do.   
      
     TOM: Frisky Squirrel is still afraid of Jimmy after that ceramic-eggs thing   
   he did to Henry Skunk.   
      
   >                                                           And   
   > Jimmy ran up behind him, put his front paws on Frisky's back,   
   > and leaped over him.   
      
    JOEL: [ Raising both arms ] Touchdown!   
      
   >                      Then he ran on a little way. And when he   
   > stopped, he crouched down and called to Fatty Raccoon to jump   
   > over them both.   
      
     TOM: That's trusting a lot in Fatty's ability to jump high.   
    CROW: That's trusting a lot in the ground's ability to not sink.   
      
   >   
   >         Soon they were all playing leap-frog, though Tommy   
   > Fox said that he didn't think it was much of a game.   
      
    JOEL: It's 1916, what else are you going to do?  That little triangle thingy   
   where you move toothpicks they put on the tables at Cracker Barrel?   
      
   >   
   >         "There's more to it than you think," Jimmy said. "I   
   > haven't taught you the whole game yet."   
      
    CROW: He hasn't even introduced the shot clock yet.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, I want to learn it all," Tommy Fox grumbled.   
      
     TOM: Ah, you'll have to go to Leap-Frog College for that.   
      
   >   
   >         "Wait until you do this part better," Jimmy Rabbit   
   > said.   
      
    JOEL: We want you to really _emote_.  Can you _feel_ yourself being the frog?   
      
   >       "Then I'll show you something different. You must learn   
   > to leap higher and further.   
      
     TOM: _Better_ than he was before.   
    JOEL: [ Hums 'The Six Million Dollar Man' theme. ]   
      
   >                             You're not half as good a jumper   
   > as I supposed you were."   
      
    CROW: Why is Jimmy negging Tommy?  Does he want a date?   
      
   >   
   >         Tommy Fox did not like that very well.   
      
     TOM: No, he was very good at not liking that, so you should write 'Tommy Fox   
   did not like that very good'.   
      
   >                                                And if he and   
   > Jimmy Rabbit had been alone I am afraid he would have done   
   > something very unpleasant to Jimmy.   
      
    CROW: It's your story!  You can make Tommy do nice things.   
      
   >                                     But now he only snarled a   
   > little, and showed his teeth, and said that he could leap   
   > higher and further than any of the others.   
      
    JOEL: Except for ol' Billy the Antigravity Kangaroo, of course, but that's a   
   special case.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, you're a good boaster, anyhow," said Jimmy.   
      
    CROW: That's our Tommy all right.   
     TOM: [ Growling ]   
      
   >   
   >         Everybody laughed at that--except Tommy Fox. _He_   
   > frowned.   
      
    CROW: Did you not get it, Tom?   
     TOM: Look, why don't you go finking on Jimmy over to Mister Mink?   
    JOEL: Hey, don't you two let Arthur Scott Bailey make you fight, okay?   
      
   >          And when it was his turn to leap over the others he   
   > sprang so high and so far that he jumped over Frisky Squirrel   
   > and Fatty Raccoon together, without once touching the ground.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] Heh ... My plan worked perfectly!   
      
   > It was really a wonderful jump.   
      
    CROW: [ Sighing ] Well, on to the rest of our lives, I guess.   
      
   >   
   >         "What do you think of that?" Tommy asked with a grin.   
   > "Can any of you beat that?"   
      
     TOM: [ As Fatty ] I once found a potato that looked like Jacob Riis.  Ate it.   
      
   >   
   >         "It's a pretty fair leap," Jimmy Rabbit admitted.   
   > "But I've seen better.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Frisky ] I haven't.   
      
   >                        When I'm in practice I can do better   
   > myself. A really good leap-frog player ought to be able to   
   > jump over three people at a time."   
      
    CROW: But ever since they legalized the forward pass and started making   
   players wear helmets the game isn't any good anymore.   
      
   >   
   >         Fatty Raccoon shook his head. He was not much of a   
   > jumper--he was so fat, and his legs were so short.   
      
    JOEL: But if we give you a booster rocket to start, what about that?   
      
   >                                                    And he   
   > didn't believe he could ever leap over three people at a   
   > time.   
      
     TOM: What if the people are William Woodtick and his brothers?   
    CROW: His 'brothers'.   
      
   >   
   >         "I could do it, if you'd let me start from a tree,"   
   > Frisky Squirrel said.   
      
    JOEL: Now how are you going to jump over a tree?   
      
   >   
   >         But Jimmy told him that that was never allowed.   
      
     TOM: Within the game, he hastened to add.  Frisky can jump from a tree to   
   meet his professional squirrel obligations.   
      
   >   
   >         "It's against the rules of the game," he explained.   
      
    CROW: Excuse me, Jimmy, but _tree frog_?  Check and mate.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, I can do it, and start on the ground, too,"   
   > Tommy Fox boasted. "I can do anything anybody else can do."   
      
    JOEL: Mister Crow is ready to challenge him.   
    CROW: Yeah, that's right, Tommy, let's see you put pebbles in a vase until   
   the water's high enough to drink!  Hah!   
      
   >   
   >         "I believe you can," Jimmy Rabbit said, to   
   > everybody's surprise.   
      
    JOEL: Nobody expects Jimmy to acknowledge others' abilities!   
      
   >                       For they all knew that he didn't like   
   > Tommy Fox.   
      
    CROW: To be fair do any of these characters like any others?   
      
   >            "We'll give you a good, fair chance to try it,"   
   > Jimmy went on. "You squat here," he told Fatty Raccoon.   
      
     TOM: [ As Fatty ] Can do!   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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