XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 10 The Tooth Puller]   
      
     TOM: My favorite prog rock album!   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 10   
      
    JOEL: Chapter Tin?   
      
   >   
   >         The Tooth Puller   
      
    CROW: Ooooh.   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit was always changing his mind about what   
   > he was going to be when he grew up.   
      
    JOEL: He could be a James, he could be a Jim, he might stick with Jimmy.  He   
   might change his name entirely and be, oh, Johnathan.   
      
   >                                     First he thought he would   
   > be a gardener, so he would always have plenty of vegetables   
   > to eat.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Wait, is _that_ what a gardener has?   
      
   >         Next he decided he would be a preacher, because, so   
   > far as he could see, they never did anything except talk--and   
   > he was sure _that_ couldn't be very hard work.   
      
    JOEL: Jimmy supposes anything he doesn't understand is an easy thing to do.   
    CROW: So he's set for a STEM career.   
      
   >                                                And one day he   
   > told his mother that he expected to become a tramp, so he   
   > wouldn't have to wash his face. But she soon put that idea   
   > out of his head.   
      
     TOM: That Charlie Chaplin putting unrealistic body goals on our rabbit kids.   
      
   >                  So Jimmy had to think of something else.   
      
    CROW: Well, he's ruled out gardener, preacher, and tramp, and it's 1916, so I   
   guess the only other job is 'copper miner beaten by Pinkertons'?   
      
   >   
   >         [Illustration: Jimmy Rabbit hurts Frisky Squirrel]   
      
    JOEL: With some nasty subtooting on a moderately popular Mastodon instance.   
      
   >   
   >         Now, he had heard that there were places where one   
   > could go to have a tooth pulled.   
      
     TOM: Like the family home of Richard Tooth-Pulling Skink.   
      
   >                                  And it seemed to him that it   
   > must be very pleasant to pull teeth.   
      
    CROW: After a few years, though, the thrill wears off.   
      
   >                                      And he saw no reason why   
   > he need wait till he grew up, either. He saw no reason why he   
   > should not begin at once.   
      
     TOM: Jimmy will grow up to have a home 85% gear for projects he's going to   
   get the time to start someday.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy knew of a hollow stump not far away which would   
   > make as fine an office as anyone could want.   
      
    CROW: Does it come with a dooryard?   
      
   >                                              So he hopped   
   > into the woods.   
      
     ALL: o/` And who can tell, what's waiting on the journey? o/`   
      
   >                 And outside the hollow stump he nailed a sign   
   > that said:   
   >   
   >         JAMES RABBIT TOOTH PULLER   
      
    JOEL: Now how much demand can there be for pulling James Rabbit Teeth?   
    CROW: The carrots will give anything for it.   
      
   >   
   >         He didn't have to wait any time at all before some   
   > one came along.   
      
     TOM: [ Old-lady voice ] Is this where they pull James Rabbit's teeth?  I   
   like to watch.   
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] You've watched before?!   
      
   >   
   >         It was Frisky Squirrel.   
      
    CROW: Welcome in, other person in the story!   
      
   >                                 And the moment he read the   
   > sign he decided that one of his teeth was in need of pulling.   
      
    JOEL: Frisky is too suggestible for his own good.   
     TOM: One time he was mugged by a 'YIELD' sign.   
      
   >   
   >         "Come right in!" Jimmy Rabbit said. He had on a white   
   > apron, which he had borrowed from his mother when she was not   
   > looking.   
      
    CROW: Oh, his mother's wedding apron!   
      
   >          And in his hand he held a big pair of pincers,   
      
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] That's the funny little glasses you don't know how they   
   stay on the nose, right?   
     TOM: [ Old-lady voice ] That's a pince-nez but I'll allow it.   
      
   >                                                         which   
   > he had borrowed from his father while Mr. Rabbit was away   
   > from home.   
      
     TOM: On a business trip to Utica, New York.  It was fascinating and let me   
   share you some lantern slides of the 'Venice of the Erie Canal'.   
      
   >   
   >         "Do you really know how to pull a tooth?" Frisky   
   > asked.   
      
    CROW: You start by pulling a leg and miss.   
      
   >   
   >         "I've never yet had a complaint from anyone who let   
   > me pull a tooth for him," Jimmy Rabbit said.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Frisky ] I'm convinced by your peculiarly qualified statement that   
   doesn't actually address my question!   
      
   >                                              And that was   
   > perfectly true--for he had never pulled a tooth in his whole   
   > life.   
      
     ALL: Oooooooh.   
    JOEL: That's that Arthur Scott Bailey touch, he thinks out all the   
   implications.   
      
   >   
   >         It would have been a shame if Frisky Squirrel had   
   > lost one of his sharp, white teeth.   
      
     TOM: Frisky brushes after every time he nibbles some wood so his teeth   
   aren't stained by tannins.   
      
   >                                     But Frisky didn't know   
   > that. He thought it would be fun.   
      
    JOEL: Frisky also thought Wheelbarrow was fun, though.   
      
   >                                   And he sat down and told   
   > Jimmy Rabbit he was ready.   
      
     TOM: Now when Jimmy Rabbit offered decapitations Frisky Squirrel had second   
   thoughts, but not for long.   
      
   >   
   >         So Jimmy Rabbit stepped up to him.   
      
     TOM: He addressed the squirrel.   
    CROW: [ As Ed Norton ] Hello, squirrel!   
      
   >                                            But he hadn't any   
   > more than closed his pincers when Frisky Squirrel began to   
   > scream.   
      
    JOEL: The Beatles!   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit was so surprised that he let the pincers   
   > drop and jumped back.   
      
     TOM: Thomas Pincers wants out of this story.   
      
   >   
   >         "My goodness!" he said. "How you startled me!   
      
    JOEL: [ As Frisky ] How did I startle you?   
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] I'm not telling you my secret weaknesses!   
      
   >                                                       I   
   > didn't hurt you, did I?"   
   >   
   >         "Yes, you did!" Frisky answered.   
      
    CROW: No sense dwelling on who hurt who.  We need to come together and go our   
   separate ways.   
      
   >                                          And Jimmy could see   
   > that he was angry. "You hurt my lip terribly."   
      
     TOM: Oh no, now Jimmy's lost his no-one-has-ever-complained-ab   
   ut-my-tooth-pulling perfect record.   
      
   >   
   >         "Well, you must have moved," said Jimmy. "Having a   
   > tooth pulled is a good deal like having your picture taken.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Frisky ] Oh, I've never had my picture taken.  I keep it safely in   
   the vault at all times!   
      
   > You have to sit very still."   
      
    CROW: Also you have to have teeth or the whole thing is silly!   
      
   >   
   >         Now, sitting still was something that Frisky Squirrel   
   > never was able to do.   
      
     TOM: It's why he kept falling out of the tree at school.   
      
   >   
   >         "I'm sorry," he said, "but I shall have to get along   
   > with my teeth just as they are."   
      
    CROW: I shall!  I shall indeed get along.   
      
   >   
   >         "Better try once more!" Jimmy urged him.   
      
     TOM: This is about more than the tooth, isn't it?   
      
   >                                                  "Most   
      
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   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)