XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 14 Boy Lost!]   
      
    JOEL: The junior adaptation of Lost.   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 14   
   >   
   >         Boy Lost!   
      
     TOM: Isn't that a boy right there?   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Poor Mrs. Rabbit didn't know what to do.   
      
    CROW: Ever since she moved into that shoe and had so many children.   
      
   >                                                  Her son   
   > Jimmy had not been home since early morning; and she was sure   
   > he was lost.   
      
     TOM: Don't be hasty.  He might still be hard at work on the painting backlog.   
      
   >              She hurried through the woods, looking for him   
   > everywhere.   
      
    JOEL: She should go to the last place she looks.  I bet she finds him there.   
      
   >             But not a trace of him could she find. No one had   
   > seen him.   
      
    CROW: Even his 'brother' was of no help.   
      
   >   
   >         At last Mrs. Rabbit happened to meet Jasper Jay.   
      
     TOM: At Lambeau Field.   
      
   >   
   >         "Have you seen Jimmy?" she asked.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jasper ] I know!  I couldn't believe it either!   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes!" he said. "Right after breakfast I saw him   
   > hurrying along the road by the river.   
      
     TOM: Is this a human road or an animal road?   
    JOEL: It's the animal river.   
      
   >                                       The circus has made camp   
   > there.   
      
    CROW: Sure, let's go with that.   
      
   >        And I wouldn't be a bit surprised if he ran away to   
   > it," he added very cheerfully.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jasper ] As long as his brother is staying around I'm good!   
    JOEL: [ As Mrs Rabbit ] Oh not more of *this*.   
      
   >   
   >         When Mrs. Rabbit heard that she was terribly upset.   
   >   
   >         "Oh, dear! Oh, dear!" she cried. "Whatever shall I   
   > do?"   
      
    CROW: Who will wheelbarrow things out of the dooryard?   
      
   >   
   >         "The usual thing," Jasper Jay told her, "is to offer   
   > a reward."   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mrs Rabbit ] Why does a dooryard need a reward?   
    CROW: [ As Jasper ] Is this a koan?  Is the answer 'mu'?   
      
   >   
   >         "Is that so?" said Mrs. Rabbit. "I've never done   
   > anything like that. Will you help me?"   
      
     TOM: Wait a minute, is Mrs Rabbit talking Jasper into rewarding her for   
   losing Jimmy?   
    CROW: She is surprisingly slick.   
      
   >   
   >         "Why, certainly!" said Jasper. And he set to work and   
   > painted a big sign,   
      
     TOM: Jimmy just introduced painting to the animal world two weeks ago and   
   it's changed *everything*.   
      
   >                     which looked like this:   
   >   
   >         LOST, STRAYED, OR STOLEN!   
      
    JOEL: Now that's not exactly the sign, but it was something like that.   
    CROW: Strayed?   
      
   >   
   >         A boy in a checkered suit,   
      
     TOM: [ Movie announcer voice ] A woman with a checkered past.   
      
   >                                    with a short tail and long   
   > ears. He answers to the name of Jimmy Rabbit.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Aw, Mom!  I told everyone to call my Jimmanthus the   
   Magnificent!   
      
   >                                               A reward will   
   > be paid for his return, and no questions asked.   
      
    JOEL: So you can return him without being quizzed on the starting lineup for   
   the '92 Denver Nuggets.   
      
   >                                                 MRS. RABBIT,   
   > Near the Big Pine Tree.   
      
     TOM: Oh, they have lost-and-found posters but not street addresses.   
      
   >   
   >         "There!" said Jasper Jay, proudly. "That ought to   
   > fetch him, if anything will."   
      
    CROW: Or you could try looking?   
      
   >                               And he and Mrs. Rabbit took the   
   > sign down to the road and hung it on a fence-post.   
      
     TOM: How Jimmy will outwit *this* we can't imagine.   
      
   >   
   >         "Why do you say 'No questions asked'?" she inquired.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Groucho ] I'm sorry, that's a question, you'll have to wait for   
   new business.   
      
   >   
   >         "That's the way it's always done," said Jasper.   
      
    CROW: What experience is Jasper drawing from?   
      
   >   
   >         Now, it was almost as Jasper Jay had thought.   
      
    JOEL: It turns out it's always *some* questions asked.   
     TOM: Yeah, but they're small-talk questions like, 'can you believe this   
   weather?' and 'what do you think of the Perdicaris Affair?'.   
      
   >                                                       Jimmy   
   > Rabbit was at the circus' camp. But he hadn't been stolen.   
   > He was skulking about, as near the sideshow as he dared to go.   
      
    CROW: Lest they pull in a painting rabbit.   
     TOM: Is he wearing spats?  I feel like he should be wearing spats.   
      
   > And he was so interested in what he saw that he had entirely   
   > forgotten to go home to dinner.   
      
     TOM: He's a rabbit, can't he just grab a handful of grass and snack on that?   
      
   >                                 But late in the afternoon he   
   > began to have such a queer feeling in his stomach that he   
   > remembered then that he had had nothing to eat since   
   > breakfast.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] Oh if only they had invented pizza on a bagel so I could   
   have pizza anytime!   
      
   >            And he started off up the road, towards home.   
   >   
   >         You can imagine how surprised he was when he stopped   
   > and read Jasper Jay's sign.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Did they even try looking?  I'm like fifteen minutes up   
   the only road in town?   
      
   >                             As soon as he had read it a   
   > second time he decided that he had better hurry home a little   
   > faster.   
      
     TOM: This is going to be a bigger scandal than the leap-frog!   
      
   >         For he could see that his mother was worried.   
      
    CROW: Going to have to call on that skunk he gave the May basket to, to cover   
   for him.   
      
   >   
   >         So Jimmy jumped through the fence and went hopping   
   > across the meadow.   
      
    JOEL: Mister MacGregor puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head,   
   sighing.   
      
   >                    Soon he was home again; and Mrs. Rabbit   
   > was hugging him and asking him where he had been and what he   
   > had been doing.   
      
     TOM: Oh, you know, the usual, taking Mr Mink's severed tail, tricking people   
   into wheelbarrowing for him, fooling people into thinking his brother is   
   watching the footrace.  Rabbit stuff.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy was just going to tell her. But he happened to   
   > think that when his mother learned that he had been at the   
   > circus' camp all day she might not be pleased.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] What if I take my mistake and do something stupid on top   
   of it?  It's perfect!   
      
   >                                                And then he   
   > remembered that sign.   
      
    JOEL: I'm supposed to bunt?  With two outs and a runner on first?!   
      
   >   
   >         "Why don't you answer me?" Mrs. Rabbit asked.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] Well, I ---   
      
   >                                                       "You'd   
   > better speak up at once.   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] I was just ---   
      
   >                          Where have you been?"   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] And the survivors needed ---   
      
   >   
   >         "But the sign said 'No questions asked'!" Jimmy   
   > reminded her.   
   >   
   >         When she heard that, Mrs. Rabbit gasped.   
      
    CROW: [ As Mrs Rabbit ] My only son has learned of loopholes?!   
      
   >   
   >         "Yes!" Jimmy went on. "And it said 'A reward will be   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)