XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 18 A Dance Without Music]   
      
    CROW: The saddest tune on 'Meet The Beatles'.   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 18   
   >   
   >         A Dance Without Music   
      
     TOM: _But_ you do get your choice of onion rings or mozzarella sticks, so ...   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         As soon as Tommy Fox began to dance with the strange   
   > lady (she was really Fatty Raccoon, you know),   
      
    JOEL: Are you sure?  Narrator, I don't think that's been proven.   
      
   >                                                he saw very   
   > quickly that she was not a good dancer at all.   
      
    CROW: All these animals dance like they have two left feet!   
      
   >                                                She kept   
   > stepping on Tommy's feet, and tripping him.   
      
     TOM: Wait a minute, I don't *have* feet!   
      
   >                                             And Tommy kept   
   > wishing that the music would begin, so he could stop dancing.   
      
    CROW: Did Jimmy ensorcel them?  Can they just not stop?   
      
   > You remember that Jimmy Rabbit had said that this was to be a   
   > dance _without_ music, and that everybody had to be   
   > blindfolded, too.   
      
    JOEL: [ Full of wonder ] Hey!  I *do* remember!   
     TOM: Pieces are all coming together.   
      
   >   
   >         At first, Tommy Fox and his partner kept bumping into   
   > other dancers.   
      
    CROW: Then their sonar-like hearing kicked in and they moved with grace and   
   ease.   
      
   >                That was natural enough, too, because how   
   > could anyone see, with a pocket-handkerchief tied over his   
   > eyes?   
      
    JOEL: Well, get your eyes out of your pockets and there's no problem.   
      
   >   
   >         After a while Tommy noticed that they bumped into   
   > fewer and fewer people, until at last they never ran into any   
   > others at all.   
      
    CROW: Is this a metaphor for growing old?  I hate metaphors for growing old.    
   They make me feel ...   
     TOM: Old?   
    CROW: Like I'm in English class.   
      
   >                But he never stopped to wonder at that. He was   
   > only glad that it was so.   
      
    JOEL: Frith ordered the rabbits to be clever and full of tricks, and the   
   foxes to just go along with stuff and see where it leads.   
    CROW: He can't see where it leads, he's blindfolded!   
      
   >   
   >         Being blindfolded, he had not seen what was going on.   
      
    CROW: Told you!   
      
   > But Jimmy Rabbit was very busy. He kept going up to all the   
   > rabbit dancers, and whispering to them,   
      
     TOM: [ As a rabbit ] 'Why do I even want to push your wheelbarrow?'   
      
   >                                         and telling them to   
   > take their pocket-handkerchiefs off their eyes and run away,   
      
    JOEL: Well, that just seems rude.   
      
   > because Tommy Fox and Fatty Raccoon had come to the Rabbits'   
   > Ball, without being invited.   
      
    CROW: Shouldn't this be something for the bouncers to handle instead?   
      
   >                              So two by two the dancers stole   
   > off, until there were only three of the merrymakers left.   
      
     TOM: Dancers can only leave the ball in pairs, so now the last three are   
   stuck.   
      
   >                                                           Two   
   > of those were Tommy Fox and Fatty Raccoon, who were still   
   > dancing, still blindfolded, and each still thinking that the   
   > other was a rabbit.   
      
    JOEL: Wait, Tommy Fox and Fatty Raccoon didn't come to the ball together?   
    CROW: Are there *any* rabbits at the Rabbits' Ball?   
      
   >                     The third was Jimmy Rabbit himself.   
      
    CROW: OK, so that's *one*.   
      
   >                                                          But   
   > he was not dancing. He was peeping out from behind a tree,   
      
     TOM: Rabbits: tree-climbers of North America.   
      
   > and wondering what was going to happen.   
      
    JOEL: Is it shenanigans?  I bet it's shenanigans.   
      
   >   
   >         And all the time Tommy Fox was wishing the music   
   > would begin.   
      
    CROW: [ As Chico Marx ] I can't think of the beginning of this song!   
     TOM: [ As Groucho ] I can't think of anything else.   
      
   >              Of course, he didn't know that Jimmy Rabbit had   
   > sent the fiddlers away.   
      
    CROW: Old King Cole was calling for them anyway.   
      
   >   
   >         Now, the longer they danced, the oftener the fat lady   
   > stepped on Tommy's feet.   
      
     TOM: They are *so* far from the beat.   
      
   >                          And he grew so angry that he finally   
   > said:   
      
    JOEL: [ As Tommy ] Ow!   
      
   >   
   >         "Do be careful where you step!"   
      
    CROW: I'm sorry, Ollie!   
      
   >   
   >         That remark did not please Fatty Raccoon.   
      
     TOM: Look, you don't get to be one of the top raccoons in Pleasant Valley by   
   looking where you step.   
      
   >   
   >         "Don't tell _me_ how to dance!" he said. "You're a   
   > great, clumsy creature!"   
      
    JOEL: You have to see it to know what separates a mediocre clumsy creature   
   from a great one.   
      
   >   
   >         "I'm not!" Tommy retorted. "I'm the best dancer at   
   > the Ball. But _you_ can't dance any better than a raccoon!"   
      
    CROW: Are raccoons noted for not being good dancers?   
    JOEL: I've never seen one breaking well enough to save a community rec center.   
      
   >   
   >         That was enough for Fatty. He tore the handkerchief   
   > off his eyes.   
      
     TOM: No!  What if your eyes sneeze?   
      
   >               And Tommy Fox was just as quick. He saw that he   
   > had made an unwise speech.   
      
    JOEL: Not unwisdom!   
      
   >                            And he snatched the bandage from   
   > his own face.   
      
    CROW: Surely his new rabbit face has healed by *now*!   
      
   >   
   >         "You've played a trick on me!" Tommy Fox cried, when   
   > he saw that all the other dancers--and the fiddlers, too--had   
   > gone.   
      
     TOM: [ As Tommy ] The fortune-teller!  Just like he predicted!   
    JOEL: [ As Fatty ] You have to stop saying that about *everything* that   
   happens to you!   
      
   >   
   >         "You've played one on me!" Fatty Raccoon shouted. And   
   > he pulled the mask off Tommy Fox's face.   
      
     TOM: I'm gonna say it.  This is _not_ a good adaptation of Jane Austen.   
      
   >   
   >         And again Tommy Fox was just as quick. He reached out   
   > and twitched away Fatty Raccoon's mask.   
      
    JOEL: Fatty reached back and Picarto'd away Tommy Fox's gloves.   
     TOM: Tommy reaches back one more time and Tubi'd away Fatty's boxing gloves.   
      
   >   
   >         For one second they stared at each other. And then   
   > they jumped at each other.   
      
    CROW: Have at you!   
    JOEL: Seriously, did Fatty and Tommy just hit on the 'let's crash the   
   Rabbits' Ball' independently?   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit didn't wait to see anything more.   
      
     TOM: The chapter's been going on a while and he's tuckered out.   
      
   >                                                        He   
   > felt that it would be much safer somewhere else. And besides,   
   > the Rabbits' Ball had come to an end.   
      
    CROW: After twelve minutes of silent dancing.   
      
   >   
   >         That was the last time that Fatty Raccoon and Tommy   
   > Fox ever went to a party to which they were not invited.   
      
    JOEL: C'mon, what are the odds this would ever happen to them a second time?   
     TOM: Joel, this *was* the second time.   
      
   > Jimmy Rabbit had taught them a lesson.   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
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