XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >   
   >         [Illustration: 19 Jimmy Grows Too Cheeky]   
      
     TOM: What, _now_?   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 19   
      
    JOEL: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times --- sorry, I missed   
   my cue.   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Grows Too Cheeky   
      
    CROW: How much cheeky does Jimmy grow?   
     ALL: _Too_ Cheeky!   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         Mrs. Rabbit always tried to teach her children good   
   > manners.   
      
    CROW: *Man*ners?  Why wasn't she teaching good bun-ners?   
      
   >          It was no easy matter, either, with four girls and   
   > three boys.   
      
     TOM: Think how much harder it'd be if most of them existed.   
      
   >             But she was glad that she hadn't four boys and   
   > three girls,   
      
    JOEL: Or two girls, three boys, and a travelling ska band.   
     TOM: Five girls, a unicorn, and strong opinions about movies featuring   
   invisible monkeys.   
      
   >              because her boys always stuffed their mouths   
   > when they ate.   
      
    CROW: That's the least bad thing to stuff when you eat!   
      
   >   
   >         One day at dinner Mrs. Rabbit said:   
      
     TOM: 'Better 'hop' to it, kids!' and then she was amazed she never tried   
   that before.   
      
   >   
   >         "Jimmy! Don't fill your mouth so full!   
      
    CROW: You'll make yourself look bad at the Rabbits Ball!   
      
   >                                                If you could   
   > see how you look, with your cheeks sticking out, you'd be   
   > more careful."   
      
    JOEL: So extend your eye-stalks dearie and let's get a look at yourself.   
      
   >   
   >         The first thing Mrs. Rabbit knew, Jimmy burst into   
   > tears.   
      
     TOM: This is about more than the stuffed cheeks, isn't it?   
      
   >   
   >         "I haven't eaten a thing!" he said.   
      
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] Which thing?  I could eat it for you.   
      
   >                                             "There's nothing   
   > in my mouth at all. I'm not a bit hungry."   
      
     TOM: Well then your cheeks have a terminal stuffing disorder.   
    JOEL: Resting hamster face.   
      
   >   
   >         When Mrs. Rabbit looked at his plate she knew at once   
      
    CROW: It must be Saint Nick!   
      
   > that there must be something the matter with him, for she saw   
   > that Jimmy hadn't touched his dinner.   
      
    JOEL: Uh-oh.  Is he developing a picky eating thing?   
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] I can only eat the left half of peanut butter.   
      
   >                                       And usually he was the   
   > first to ask for more.   
      
    CROW: More?  When did we start serving more around here?   
      
   >   
   >         "That boy is not well!" she told her husband.   
      
    JOEL: I wonder who she's married to.   
      
   >                                                       "I wish   
   > you would go and ask Aunt Polly Woodchuck to step over here."   
   > Aunt Polly, you know, was a famous doctor.   
      
     TOM: Well, *yeah*.  We didn't just fall off the turnip wheelbarrow.   
    JOEL: Woodchucks keep coming back in unexpected ways this story.   
      
   >   
   >         Well, Mr. Rabbit hurried away as soon as he had   
   > finished his meal.   
      
    CROW: Where Mr Rabbit comes from it's good manners to flee dinner.   
      
   >                    And it wasn't long before old Aunt Polly   
   > hobbled up to Mrs. Rabbit's door.   
      
     TOM: Boy, kids don't play Polly Hobbles like they used to.   
      
   >   
   >         "Come right in!" Mrs. Rabbit said. "It's Jimmy!   
      
    CROW: [ As Aunt Polly ] It is?  I thought you were Mrs Rabbit?   
     TOM: [ As Mrs Rabbit ] Guh, what is *with* this valley?   
      
   >                                                         I   
   > want you to look at him. He wouldn't eat any dinner, and his   
   > cheeks stick out very queerly."   
      
    JOEL: Now how is looking at him supposed to get him to eat?  You at least   
   need to throw some sand under his tires.   
      
   >   
   >         Old Aunt Polly gave Jimmy a sharp pinch on one of his   
   > puffed-out cheeks.   
      
     TOM: [ Long, drawn-out noise of a balloon deflating ]   
      
   >   
   >         "Ouch!" he said.   
   >   
   >         "Did that hurt?" Aunt Polly asked him.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] Are you playing 'I'm Not Touching You'?   
      
   >   
   >         "Yessum!" he answered.   
   >   
   >         "Hm--I thought so!" she said.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Aunt Polly, in a diagnostic tone ] Can't take a pinch.  Lot of   
   that going around.   
      
   >                                       You see, Aunt Polly was   
   > a good doctor. She generally knew what was what.   
      
     TOM: Her paper on the correlation between pinching and pain is all the rage   
   in _Bunny Lancet_.   
      
   >   
   >         Then she reached into her basket and drew out a green   
   > apple, and gave it to Jimmy Rabbit.   
      
    CROW: Little something from the Snow White Collection.   
      
   >   
   >         "Here!" she said. "Take a big bite!"   
      
    JOEL: It's the home edition of Magritte!   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy did just as she told him to. And then he cried   
   > "Ouch!" again.   
      
     TOM: I don't understand!  There's supposed to be a big delight in every bite!   
      
   >   
   >         "Did it hurt?" she asked him.   
   >   
   >         "Yessum!" he said.   
      
    CROW: You know Yessum was Post's first name for Postum.   
      
   >   
   >         "I thought so!" Aunt Polly replied. And turning to   
   > Mrs. Rabbit, she said,   
      
    JOEL: He's a shirker!   
     TOM: Of course he's a shirker, we've *met* Jimmy!   
      
   >                        "This boy has mumps."   
      
     TOM: The personality test?  Oh, I'm an RTLS myself.   
    CROW: I can see that.   
      
   >   
   >         "You don't say so!" Mrs. Rabbit exclaimed.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Aunt Polly ]  I do so say so!  I just did right there!   
      
   >   
   >         "I do, indeed!" Aunt Polly declared. "Give him a cup   
   > of catnip tea and put him to bed.   
      
     TOM: Catnip tea?  Shouldn't that be rabbit-nip tea?   
      
   >                                   And let him have a   
   > hot-water bottle at his feet. And if everything isn't all   
   > right, just send for me again."   
      
    CROW: [ As Mrs Rabbit ] Should we try a medicine of some kind?   
    JOEL: [ As Aunt Polly ] It's 1916!  Our idea of medicine is *fake*   
   radium-coated asbestos flakes!   
      
   >                                 So she went away. And Jimmy   
   > went to bed.   
      
     TOM: Notice nobody's worried about his 'brother' catching anything.   
      
   >   
   >         He kept his mother busy for a few days, for he was   
   > always asking her to fill his hot-water bottle with hotter   
   > water.   
      
    CROW: I'm sorry, Jimmy, you need a hotter water bottle for that.   
      
   >        But she was glad to do that for him. And she was   
   > pleased to see that he was improving.   
      
     TOM: He was still Jimmy Rabbit, understand, there's a limit to how good he   
   could get.   
      
   >   
   >         Then one day Mrs. Rabbit discovered that the   
   > hot-water bottle was full of small holes.   
      
    JOEL: [ As Mrs Rabbit ] Great.  _Stupid_ termites.   
      
   >                                           The water ran out   
   > of it almost as fast as she poured it in.   
      
    CROW: Poking holes in his own hot water bottle seems like a bad move on   
   Jimmy's part.   
      
   >   
   >         Mrs. Rabbit was surprised. She was worried, too, for   
   > it was no easy matter to get a new hot-water bottle where she   
   > lived.   
      
     TOM: I'm with you there, Mrs Rabbit.  I can't understand where hot water   
   bottles even come from except old-time cartoons.   
      
   >   
   >         "Aunt Polly said to send for her again if everything   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)