XPost: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, alt.tv.mst3k   
   From: nebusj-@-rpi-.edu   
      
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   >         [Illustration: 17 The Rabbits' Ball]   
      
     TOM: _Another_ rabbits' ball?   
      
   >   
   >         Chapter 17   
   >   
   >         The Rabbits' Ball   
      
    JOEL: People can't stop talking about the Rabbits' Ball!   
      
   >   
   >   
   >         The Rabbits' Ball   
      
    CROW: Was a pink rubber thing that fits in their hands.   
      
   >                           (that was a dancing party, you   
   > know)   
      
    CROW: Oooooh.   
     TOM: [ As Frisky Squirrel ] I didn't know!   
      
   >       was something to which Jimmy Rabbit had looked forward   
   > for a long time.   
      
    JOEL: Ever since they put the illustration for it in a chapter too early!   
      
   >   
   >         Now, only rabbits were invited. And everybody that   
   > came was expected to wear fancy clothes, and a mask.   
      
     TOM: And red leggings.   
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] D'oh!   
      
   >   
   >         Jimmy Rabbit had decided that he would go to the Ball   
   > dressed like one of his sisters.   
      
    CROW: Oh ... oh dear, he has 'sisters' too?   
      
   >                                  He thought that he could   
   > have a good deal of fun in that way.   
      
    JOEL: At this point dressing as one of his sisters could mean just putting on   
   a bow or it could mean putting on a ball gown.  I have no way of knowing.   
      
   >                                      And as it happened, he   
   > was not disappointed.   
      
     TOM: How could he be disappointed?  Jimmy is the rabbit world's answer to   
   Parker Lewis.   
      
   >   
   >         The night of the great Ball had come;   
      
    CROW: It's not *that* great.   
     TOM: Well, it's only like 7:20, that's barely 'evening'.   
      
   >                                               and Jimmy   
   > Rabbit had a delightful time dancing with friends of his who   
   > thought he was a girl.   
      
    JOEL: That Elmer Fudd, he's never going to learn.   
      
   >                        But after a while almost everybody   
   > knew almost everybody else--in spite of the masks they wore.   
      
    CROW: In a small town?  How is that possible?   
      
   > But there were two dancers whom nobody seemed to know.   
      
     TOM: Which is why we gave them The Colbert Questionnaire.   
      
   >   
   >         One was dressed as a giant-dwarf, and the other as a   
   > dwarf-giant.   
      
    CROW: And you may ask _one_ of them a question.   
      
   >              And they looked a good deal alike, except that   
   > one of them (that was the gentleman) was tall and thin; and   
   > the other (that was the lady) was short and fat.   
      
    JOEL: On second thought, they didn't look much like each other at all.   
      
   >                                                  They didn't   
   > appear even to know each other.   
      
     TOM: So it's, what, Tommy Fox and Fatty Raccoon?   
    CROW: Hey, no fair anticipating!   
      
   >                                 But they both enjoyed the   
   > Ball--at least they told everyone that they did.   
      
     ALL: At first.   
      
   >   
   >         Before the Ball was over the tall, thin stranger   
   > invited Jimmy Rabbit to dance with him--supposing, of course,   
   > that Jimmy was a girl.   
      
    CROW: Rabbit plus mask equals girl.   
      
   >   
   >         It struck Jimmy that the stranger was very, very tall   
   > for a rabbit.   
      
     TOM: Yet short for an elephant, so these things balance out.   
      
   >               Only rabbits were invited to the party, you   
   > remember.   
      
    JOEL: Rabbits with red leggins.   
      
   >   
   >         Well, as the stranger walked away, after the dance   
   > was done, Jimmy Rabbit caught a glimpse of a bushy red tail   
   > beneath his coat.   
      
     TOM: Gasp!  It's tail smugglers!   
      
   >                   And he knew right away who it was. It was   
   > Tommy Fox!   
      
    CROW: Someone cut off Tommy Fox's tail and is wearing it to the ball!   
      
   >            And, of course, he had no business to be there, at   
   > the Rabbits' Ball!   
      
    JOEL: What if he's kitchen staff?   
      
   >   
   >         That set Jimmy to thinking. And he wasn't long in   
   > making up his mind that the short, fat lady was no other than   
   > Fatty Raccoon.   
      
     TOM: Won't he be surprised when it's Uncle Jerry Chuck?   
      
   >                When Jimmy looked sharply he could see where   
   > Fatty's tail was hidden beneath the dress he was wearing.   
      
    CROW: Aren't there *any* rabbits at the Rabbits Ball?   
     TOM: Maybe the actual Rabbits Ball is somewhere else and they just didn't   
   want Jimmy along?   
      
   > And, of course, he had no business there, either.   
      
    JOEL: Pretty sure Fatty is there as the carrot inspector.   
      
   >   
   >         Pretty soon Jimmy Rabbit thought of a plan.   
      
    CROW: [ As Jimmy ] If they would push my wheelbarrow ---   
      
   >                                                     And he   
   > hurried up to the tall stranger and said:   
      
     TOM: [ As Jimmy ] Hi, you're tall and strange!   
      
   >   
   >         "We are now going to have a new sort of dance.   
      
    JOEL: By Stephen Wolfram.   
      
   >                                                        And   
   > knowing you to be a fine dancer,   
      
    CROW: 25 cents and two points on your license per waltz.   
      
   >                                  I would suggest that you ask   
   > that shortish, stoutish lady to be your partner.   
      
     TOM: And what the heck, see if you can do a fox trot.   
      
   >                                                  I should say   
   > that next to you, she is the most graceful dancer at the   
   > Ball."   
      
    JOEL: [ As Groucho ] And inside of you it's too small to dance.   
      
   >   
   >         Tommy Fox hurried over at once to claim a dance with   
   > the strange lady, who was really Fatty Raccoon--only Tommy   
   > didn't know it.   
      
    CROW: But when Fatty insisted on dancing a cakewalk he started to suspect.   
      
   >   
   >         As soon as everyone was ready,   
      
     TOM: I *said*, as soon as *everyone* was *ready*.   
    JOEL, CROW: [ Murmuring as if a distracted crowd ]   
      
   >                                        Jimmy Rabbit climbed   
   > on top of a toadstool and made a speech.   
      
    JOEL: My kingdom for a toadstool!   
      
   >   
   >         "The new dance," he said, "will be like this:   
      
    CROW: Oh god, it's Shipoopi.   
      
      
   > Everybody must be blindfolded."   
      
     TOM: Jimmy!  Are you kidnapping everyone again?   
      
   >                                 So every dancer pulled out   
   > his pocket-handkerchief and tied it over his eyes.   
      
    JOEL: Pleasant Valley is really into sensory deprivation gags.   
      
   >                                                    "The new   
   > dance will be _without_ music," Jimmy added.   
      
    CROW: You know this is how Perkus Tooth invented the silent disco.   
      
   >                                              "You will dance   
   > until the music _begins_, instead of dancing until it   
   > _stops_."   
      
     TOM; [ As Frisky ] So we play music until the dancing starts?   
    CROW: [ As Fatty ] I thought we danced while the music stopped?   
    JOEL: [ As Jimmy ] No, no, look, maybe you need to write this down ---   
      
   >   
   >         Everyone said that that was a queer sort of dance.   
   > But Jimmy Rabbit paid no attention to such remarks.   
      
    CROW: Jimmy is too much an innovator to be hidebound by convention.   
      
   >   
   >         "All ready!" he called. "One, two, three--dance!" he   
   > cried in a loud voice.   
      
    JOEL: And the crowd falls over.   
    CROW, TOM: [ Dully ] Yaaaaay.   
      
   >   
   >         Among all that crowd, Jimmy Rabbit was the only one   
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)