From: adplummer@comcast.net   
      
   Meanwhile, elsewhere...   
      
   A new and TOTALLY UNRELATED scene opened with an extreme close-up on a piece   
   of carbonite.  This piece of carbonite looked strangely like Kane Magus, oddly   
   enough.[1]  Suddenly, the carbonite statue of Kane cracked and fell away to   
   nothing.   
      
   And that's the end of the post.  Then End.  Nothing more to see here.  Go away.   
   No, I'm serious.  Why are you still here?  What?  Some guy is standing there   
   where the carbonite statue used to be?  Bah.  You're just trying to trick me   
   into writing an *actual* post, instead of just a single paragraph, aren't you?   
      
   "...the hell?" Kane muttered to himself, looking around.   
      
   Sigh.  Dammit.  All right already.  I'll write a post.  Geez.   
      
   "Huh?" said Kane again, as though he heard someone speaking.  Obviously, he   
   didn't, however, because *I* haven't said a word this whole time.  I'm *dead*   
   after all, right?  *nods sagely*   
      
   "Oh, okay then," said Kane, immediately forgetting what he was doing.  "What   
   was   
   I doing, again?  Ah, right."  *pause*  "..the hell?" Kane muttered to himself,   
   looking around.   
      
   He found himself standing in the Great Otaku Desert.  He rolled his eyes and   
   said, "Wow, what a surprise."   
      
   However, instead of the traditional *sand* and *little else* that he expected   
   to   
   see stretching in all directions as far as his (admittedly poor) eyes could   
   see,   
   he instead saw wheat fields stretching in all directions for as far as his eyes   
   could see[2].  And they were all on fire.   
      
   "...the hell?" Kane muttered to himself a third time.  He shook his head and   
   said, "I don't wanna know.  I really don't wanna know.   
      
   Suddenly!  Kane had a strange feeling!  He looked up!   
      
   And didn't see much of anything other than a clear blue sky.   
      
   He squinted!  Really REALLY HARD!   
      
   And still didn't see anything of note.   
      
   "Okay.  I *know* something is going on up there.  And I mean to get up there   
   and   
   find out what it is," he said.  "But how?"   
      
   Kane pondered all the possibilities.  However, it didn't occur to him that he   
   could have tried calling one of the many orbiting vehicles or space-stations   
   and   
   ask them to beam him up.  He didn't consider the fact that he could try to   
   catch   
   a ride at one of the dozens of planetary space docks that dotted Otaku World.   
   He didn't even think of merely using his magic to open a portal directly to the   
   scene of the action.   
      
   "No," said Kane.  "None of those things will work."   
      
   Yes, they will, you dumbass!  They will work very well.   
      
   "No they won't!  The only possible way I can get up there is... is... to   
   completely *break* the laws of physics and *fall* into space!"   
      
   ....   
      
   ....   
      
   Whatever.  You do what you want.  I'm washing my hands of this whole fiasco.   
      
   "Right then!" said Kane, proceeding to ignore me for the rest of the post.   
   "Here goes."   
      
   He suddenly began to float upward.   
      
   "Hey!  It's working!"   
      
   His floating speed began to increase dramatically.   
      
   "Uh oh."   
      
   He began to flail around, trying to stop his descent... *ahem*  ...ascent   
   somehow.   
      
   "Maybe I didn't totally think this through..."   
      
   He began to experience reverse re-entry.  It was really not very pleasant.   
      
   "AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!  Geez, that smarts." Kane muttered.   
      
   "Tell me about it," said Mord, who was approaching from the other direction.   
      
   "What?  Mord?!  Is that you?" Kane asked.  "What are you doing here?"   
      
   "Well, it's a long story..." Mord began.   
      
   Mord wrote:   
    > 	"-NA-KO! MI-NA-KO!" The Deluded Non-Emperor of Otaku   
    > World (Serious. Read the threads from last year.) also known   
    > as Tuxedo Dionysus continued chanting after kicking Mord into   
    > the garbage disposal chute.   
      
   "...and that's why I'm now falling through space," Mord finished.  "But why are   
   *you* falling... up... through space?"   
      
   Kane shrugged, "I think something's going on up there, and I mean to find out   
   what that something is."   
      
   "Well, I could have told you that," Mord replied.  "Mr. K and the Super Stud   
   are attacking the Arty-P.  TD went out to do something about it."   
      
   Kane nodded.  "Oh, cool.  Thanks!"   
      
   "No problem," said Mord.  "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some serious   
   falling   
   through space to do here."   
      
   Kane waved bye as he said, "Yeah, me too.  I should really get back to it.    
   Now,   
   where was I?  Oh, right.  AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!"   
      
   Mord wrote some more:   
      
    > 	"I don't believe this." K blinked at the sight.   
    >   
    > 	"This has to be breaking some law somewhere." Bartholomew   
    > sweatdropped.   
    >   
    > 	The Ferret shrugged, "I think I've seen him do weird stuff."   
    >   
    > 	On the viewscreen, while still pointing accusingly at each other   
    > about who should listen to whom when ordering heavy artilery upgrades,   
    > the three watched the angry yellow tuxedo-clad minakochanian   
    > walking towards them.   
    >   
    >         Was it the airless nature of space they were confused by?   
    > Was   
    > it the fact that he was managing to WALK towards them?  Was it the   
    > usagichanians clinging to his arms?  Nay.  It was the fact that they   
    > heard him.  Oh did they ever hear his angry words!   
    >   
    > 	"Dude.  Did he call himself emperor?" The Ferret smirked.   
    >   
    > 	"I think his calling us lowlife trash is the bigger part of that."   
    > Bartholomew retorted.   
    >   
    > 	K had already gotten to his feet however, his fist clenched   
    > angrily. "Bastard called us Amichanians."   
      
   Suddenly, red alert sirens began to wail as the computer kindly informed them   
   that they were under attack from the surface.   
      
   "Now what's going on?" the ferret sighed.   
      
   Bartholomew consulted with the computer for a bit, then said, "It appears that   
   a   
   human body is flying toward us at incredible speed."   
      
   "Brace for impact!" shouted Mr. K.   
      
   "Collision in 3... 2... 1..." counted down Bartholomew.   
      
   ....   
      
   "Well?" asked the ferret.  "I didn't feel a thing."   
      
   Mr. K looked at the view screen.  "What's going on out there?"   
      
   Just outside the ship, Tuxedo Dionysus briefly paused in his tirade to watch   
   Kane slowly peel away from the hull of the Super Stud.   
      
   "Mommy..." Kane whimpered, as he floated in TD's general direction.   
      
   "Oh great," said TD.  "First Amichanians, and now Mamochanians."   
      
   TBC?   
      
   [1] At least, I'm fairly certain Kane never escaped from the carbonite within   
   which he was encased in this post:  http://tinyurl.com/2vn9fw  If he did, and I   
   just didn't notice it... oops, and all that.  >_>   
      
      
   [continued in next message]   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)