XPost: alt.flame, alt.cascade, alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk   
   XPost: alt.fan.karl-malden.nose   
   From: Philippeandcoco@home.net   
      
   People are starting to talk about what "The 2-Belo" said:   
      
   >We have a report from the alt.flame Dynamics Officer that Avoid normal   
   >situations. has exploded. Flight director confirms that:   
   >   
   >>> >   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Echo Three to Echo Seven.   
   Han old buddy, do you read me?   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Loud and clear, kid. What's   
   up?   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Well I finished my circle, I   
   don't pick up any life readings.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> There isn't enough life on this   
   ice cube to fill a space cruiser. The sensors   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> are placed -- I'm going back to   
   base.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >*another tauntaun goes skippidy   
   doo through the shot; millions of kids   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >watching this in the 21st century   
   on their giant HD flatwidescreen TVs think   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >to themselves, "Man, this is so   
   *old*"*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Right, I'll see ya shortly.   
   There's a meteorite that hit the ground near here,   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >I wanna check it out. Won't take   
   long.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Beeeeeeeghhhhhhhh! [Translation:   
   Abominable snowman alert! And get off me,   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >you fucking alien!]   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Steady! Hey! Steady, girl! Hey   
   what's the matter? Ya smell somethin'?   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >RAWR!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >*Luke gets moshed*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Beeegggggghhrhhhhhh!   
   [Translation: I told you so!]   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >*tauntaun gets mushed*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> *Meanwhile, Han trots into the   
   improbable cave-base*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >  *fitting in very nicely with all   
   the other improbabilities in this series*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Chewie!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> *A Wookiee, basically a   
   7-foot-tall pile of highly flammable hair, is...   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> welding?*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Chewie!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Raaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggh!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> All riiiight, don't lose your   
   temper! I'll come right back and give you a hand.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >*Han makes his way into the control   
   room; Leia is there, bearing a harsher,   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >somehow military 'do*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >*Han finds the base commander; I   
   know this is a bunch of guerrillas, but   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >another hard thing to swallow is a   
   military force capable of taking down   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >a galactic empire in which nobody   
   salutes*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Hello.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> No sign of life out there, General.   
   The sensors are in place. You'll know if   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> anything comes around.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Commander Skywalker reported in yet?   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >> No. He's checking out a meteorite that   
   hit near him.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >With all the meteor activity in this   
   system, it's gonna be difficult to spot   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> >approaching ships.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >> General... I've got to leave. I can't stay   
   anymore.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> >I'm sorry to hear that.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >> I've got a price on my head. If I don't pay   
   off Jabba the Hutt, I'm a dead man.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >A death mark's not an easy thing to live with.   
   [FTFY.]   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >*beat*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> >You're a good fighter, Solo. I hate to lose you.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> *handshake* Thank you, General.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> *turns to Leia, sizes her up*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >*for the first time, we hear the Star Wars Love   
   Theme*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >> Well, Your Highness, I guess this is it.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> >*plays it cool, nods* That's right.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >> .... Well, don't go all mushy on me. So long,   
   Princess!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >*Leia registers, "Oh, no!" and goes after him*   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> >Han!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >> *Yes*, Your Highnessness? [fixed]   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> >I thought you had decided to stay.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>> Well, the bounty hunter we ran into on Ord Mandell changed   
   my mind.   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >>Han, we need you!   
   >>> >> >> >> >> >*We* need?   
   >>> >> >> >> >> Yes.   
   >>> >> >> >> >Well what about "you need"?   
   >>> >> >> >> *I* need? I don't know what you're talking about.   
   >>> >> >> >*tsk* Probably don't.   
   >>> >> >> And what precisely am I supposed to know?   
   >>> >> >Come onnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! You want me to stay because of the way   
   you feel   
   >>> >> >about me!   
   >>> >> Yes! You're a great help to us. You're a natural leader!   
   >>> >No! *That's* not it! C'mon!   
   >>> >*sends that vibe of "You know you want me 'cause I look like Harrison   
   Ford"*   
   >>> >Aahhhhhhhh? C'mon!   
   >>> *Leia finally tunes in*   
   >>> You're imagining things.   
   >>Am I? Then why are you following me? 'Fraid I was gonna leave without giving   
   >>you a goodbye kiss?   
   >I'd just as soon kiss a Wookiee.   
   I can arrange that. You could use a good kiss!   
   --   
      
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