This is an original post by Steve, back in 2000 (Disney can use this to write   
   the scripts for the coming episodes):   
      
      
   Steve   
      
   Just follow the outline below, pick appropriate options and you've got   
   your very own authentic EU novel.   
   1.        1 year after the battle of Endor   
   2.        5 years after the battle of Endor   
   3.        20 years after the battle of Endor   
   4.        during tea at the battle of Endor   
      
   Rebel/New Republic forcers were surprised to discover.   
      
   1.        An evil plot by the empire to capture (insert name of annoying   
   child of main character)   
   2.        An army of droids with red eyes that move from side to side   
   3.        Han wears a toupe   
   4.        A main character had children who weren't twins   
      
   While seeking to find a solution to this surprising turn of events.   
      
   1.        Leia   
   2.        Han   
   3.        Lando   
   4.        Wedge's aun't Mabel   
      
   crashes on   
      
   1.        Correlia   
   2.        Kessel   
   3.        Dagobah   
   4.        Ork   
      
   and is attacked by   
      
   1.        the spirit of a long dead Sith Lord   
   2.        10 metre long leaping orange sith sheep   
   3.        flying purple people eaters   
   4.        vicious knights who say 'ni'   
      
   Just when all seems hopeless   
      
   1.        Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day   
   2.        5 year old jedi kid saves the day   
   3.        A tie shot down years ago and light years away at the Battle   
   of Yavin, still spinning out of control, crashes on the baddie   
   4.        Someone remembers to use the force   
      
   It soon becomes apparent that the empire are planning to use a new   
   weapon that   
      
   1.        Destroys planets   
   2.        Destroys solar systems   
   3.        Destroys mynocks   
   4.        Ruffles Lando's hair   
      
   When the empire test their new weapon   
      
   1.        Jedi Master Luke Skywalker saves the day   
   2.        It destroys a race of highly intelligent peaceful beings who   
   are noted for their singing and remarkable macrame skills   
   3.        They forget to load it   
   4.        Admiral Ackbar shows up and destroys their entire fleet with   
   his b-wing and a rather large docking claw   
      
   During the brief peace that follows, Lando   
      
   1.        wins coruscant in a game of tiddliwinks and then loses it   
   betting on blob races   
   2.        wins the falcon again in a game of sabacc with Han and then   
   gives it back in return for a snappy new cape.   
   3.        wins some credits, buys some flowers and then offers them to   
   Mara Jade who promptly plants them where the sun don't shine   
   4.        wins some credibility and friends (on second thought - that's   
   a bit too far fetched)   
      
   While   
      
   1.        on a diplomatic mission to bring peace to two warring worlds   
   who threaten the peace of the entire new republic   
   2.        on a holiday   
   3.        doing a bit of spring cleaning   
   4.        Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is saving the day   
      
   (insert name of one of the few characters in the entire galaxy who   
   anything interesting actually happens to)  just happens to be in the   
   right place at the right time to   
      
   1.        foil an imperial plot   
   2.        witness a marvel of nature that only happens every 2836485   
   years   
   3.        discover a secret imperial installation hidden years ago by   
   the emperor   
   4.        help Jedi Master Luke Skywalker save the day   
      
   This leads them to the conclusion that   
      
   1.        the empire is almost beaten   
   2.        the emeror has returned as a clone (again!!!)   
   3.        the waterboy is the grandson of the great jedi mrgump erflishp   
   and has the potential to top the class at Jedi Master Luke Skywalker's   
   academy   
   4.        wookies that have just eaten green eggs and nerf have bad   
   breath   
      
   In the exiting climax to the story   
      
   1.        Jedi Master Luke Skywalker gets beaten up by ysalamiri draped   
   nerf herders and then saves the day   
   2.        the bad guy is betrayed by his most trusted ally and retires,   
   quite upset, to a life of solitude in the bfashrishrit force monastery   
   on the remote planet of Barff   
   3.        Bobba Fett appears, looks tough, get's his butt kicked and   
   appears to die (until fans miss him enough to drag him out for another   
   story)   
   4.        Lobot is revealed to be a Borg operative (oops - wrong world   
   there)   
      
      
   There you have it. It's a proven formula. It's true. People buy this   
   stuff.   
      
   I actually do like Star Wars a lot and I like some of the   
   novels but I do find some of them a bit hard to swallow. See follow up   
   post   
      
   Steve O'Neil   
   http://www.oneil.com.au/steve/   
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   To send me an email, change the az in my address to au   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)