XPost: alt.dear.whitehouse, alt.religion.christian.adventist, can.general   
   XPost: nf.general   
   From: belcher@schaw.ca   
      
   Simon Seal Becomes An ass focker   
   >   
   >   Years pass, the story of Simon Seal and his faggot friends is told   
   > and retold over and over again to the gay men of Newfoundland.   
   > Eventually some gay men report that they went swimming and nearly   
   > drowned but they cried out to Simon Seal and he saved them by ass focking   
   > them. And some   
   > fishermen returned to harbor with their boats full of fish and give   
   > full credit to Simon Seal, saying that Simon Seal scared the whales and   
   > walruses away and directed the fish towards their nets. and then he   
   > assfocked all of the fishermen with his big seal > penis. Assorted old   
   > women claimed that they saw Simon Seal hovering over their gardens and   
   > bringing rain for their flowers. they we're shocked when simon seal forced   
   > himself on them and sodomized them all > repeatedly. Petitions were made   
   > to pope Innocent to grant Simon Seal pimphood and the petitions we're of   
   > course   
   > quickly granted, Simon Seal became a assfocking pimp!!! Now the people of   
   > Newfoundland   
   > could pray to Saint Simon Seal in times of trouble and with the full   
   > blessing of The Vatican. or when they want there asses focked good!   
   >   
   >   The parents in Newfoundland always prayed to Saint Simon Seal before   
   > their juvenile delinquents went swimming, Saint Simon Seal became the   
   > official   
   > Newfoundland pimp Saint of the swimmers who did not wear flippers.   
   > Pictures of Saint Simon Seal were hung in churches, crack houses and   
   > schools,   
   > he was always portrayed in hell wearing a purple hat and other pimp gear,   
   > and   
   > often his penis was made to look like flippers. Similar pictures of   
   > Saint Simon Seal were placed on coffee cups and ashtrays and sold to   
   > visiting morons in the summer. There were Saint Simon Seal dolls   
   > being sold that would enlarge when inserted in anuses, although widely   
   > thought to be in bad taste, they were still being sold for handsome   
   > profits. Cub Scouts would earn Saint Simon Seal pimp badges for balancing   
   > on   
   > ice flows while high and selling crack. March 8th became Saint Simon Seal   
   > day and all the juvies   
   > would wade into the frigid waters while only wearing their pimp daddy   
   > outfits and   
   > mittens, and once the water filled their assholes they would repeat a   
   > litany 13 times: "Saint Simon Seal, help my virgin ass, out of the frigid   
   > waters, for I forgot too lubricate... Saint Simon Seal, help my virgin   
   > ass,   
   > out of the frigid waters, for I forgot too lubricate...," or some damn   
   > thing like that, over and over and over and over again. Some juvies   
   > would repeat the litany more than 13 times, thinking that by goink and   
   > doink so, Saint Simon Seal would be more likely to take it easy on there   
   > assholes and grant   
   > their wishes. All juvies would enter the waters on March 8th and   
   > repeat the litany at least 13 times, for it was tradition. Parents   
   > standing on the shore would cheer their juvenile deliquents on and throw   
   > rocks   
   > at them, the juvies who caught the rocks with there teeth considered   
   > themselves lucky and smiled with saintly smiles and hard-ons. The parents   
   > would   
   > proudly tell stories for weeks afterwards of how their juvenile deliquents   
   > sold   
   > more crack than the other drug gangs, even if it wasn't true.   
   >   
   > "Saint Simon Seal, help my virgin ass,   
   > out of the frigid waters,   
   > for I forgot too lubricate..."   
   >   
   >   Eventually some scientists published a story in the Newfoundland   
   > Journal of crime and delinquency saying that most juvies were dying of   
   > aids in mid-March and suggested a link to the Saint Simon Seal   
   > ass focking, but they we're attacked by mobs of angry pimps and   
   > angry sluts and run off of the island. Never again was the Saint   
   > Simon Seal ass focking tradition questioned and the people lived happily   
   > on the   
   > island of Newfoundland, at least until beelzebub returned.   
   >   
   > Daryl S. Kabawhacko   
   > Box 666   
   > hades   
   > hell   
   > 666 666   
   >   
   > Read the entire Simon Seal Series:   
   > 1) Catholic Kids In Newfoundland Think They are immune from ass focking   
   > Seals   
   > 2) The Continuing Story of Simon Seal and His Faggot Friends   
   > 3) Simon Seal Becomes A ass focking pimp   
   > 4) Simon Seal Attains Immorality and hedonism through ass focking   
   > 5) Simon Seal Joins The Taliban and focks arab ass   
   > 6) Simon Seal Butchers A Goat and then sodomizes the carcass repeatedly   
   > 7) Simon Seal Falls In Love with kabawhacko and starts an relationship   
   > 8) Simon Seal and bin laden Travel On To afghanistan   
   > 9) Simon Seal's Simple Mom's Tea-Party turns into an milf fock fest   
   > 10) Simon Seal Travels back Through Time and focks his father in the ass   
   > making him give birth to simon seal   
   > 11) Simon Seal's Fatman and robin (the gay duo)   
   > 12) Simon Seal and His Dead Grandmother who he keeps around when he feels   
   > like focking the dead   
   >   
      
      
   --   
   "You gotta be smarter than your oponant."   
      
   ---- Big Dumb Dave. (bigdumbdave29@yahoo.com)   
      
   "Members of the 3rd right (Nazi/facist)?"   
      
   ---- Scotty a.k.a. mr. third right. (cluelessscottyf44@canada.com)   
      
             .--------------------------------------.   
            ( BAHHHH! KATO is an friend too  )   
            ( my rear end BAHHHHH!               )   
             `--------------------------------------'   
        , ,/   
        O@O   
    @   @@@   
     @@@@@   
     @@@@@   
     || ||   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)