f250ecdd   
   XPost: alt.agnosticism, alt.marketing.online.ebay, soc.culture.indian   
   XPost: sci.archaeology.mesoamerican   
   From: conspiracies.101.102.103@gmail.com   
      
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    <               HOLY SH*T   
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    <   
       MAHANOY CITY, Pa (Rueters) -- Yes,   
   Virginia, miracles DO HAPPEN every   
   now and then.   
    <   
        Ed Conrad actually was unconscious,   
   -- certainly not dead -- while lying bare-ass   
   naked on the table in the chilly mortuary   
   awaiting his first dose of embalming fluid   
   last night.   
    <   
        As it was about to be injected, the   
   ice-cold "corpse" suddenly sat up,   
   yawned and  casually remarked, "Boy,   
   am I ever  hungry!"   
    <   
       The funeral director and his assistant   
    were shocked further when Ed angrily   
    asked: "Can someone PLEASE get me   
    a blanket. I'm freezing my balls off."   
    <   
         Not bad for the man who shot himself   
    four or five times in the head in what   
    the Schuylkill County coroner had   
    described as "an unfortunate gunning   
    accident."   
    <   
        Consequently, Ed is now in a hospital   
   recovering from his gunshot wounds   
   and is rather confident that, in a few   
   weeks, a good plastic surgeon will be   
   abe to patch the egg-size holes in his   
   head.   
    <   
         It also should be noted that his   
   Requiem Mass and funeral, scheduled   
   for Wednesday, have been canceled.   
    <   
        A family spokesman said Ed not   
   only is happy to be alive but also   
   thanks the millions of people who   
   undoubtedly prayed like hell for   
   his safe return to the living.   
    <   
        "He especially appreciates the   
   kindness of those who sent  'Get Well'   
   cards but wants it known that he has   
    a special fondness for all cards that   
   contain cash."   
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    <   
    <          EARLIER STORIES   
    <   
   http://groups.google.com/group/alt.religion.scientology/browse_t   
   read/thread/465d09685becafc5   
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   WARNING: DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE   
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   http://www.edconrad.com/wellread.html   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)