From: gninwodmas@gmail.com   
      
   On Tuesday, January 14, 2014 10:03:45 PM UTC-8, Stu Meade wrote:   
   > K C Chan 	   
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   > 10/29/03   
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   >            
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   > What the hell.  I've got the time.  It hasn't been seen in a while.   
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   > I didn't write this, but I am dazzled by its brilliance every time I   
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   > see it, and feel obliged to bring it out now and then and take it   
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   > around the block to show it off.  I wish it was mine, but I have to   
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   > admit the owner dumped it on the front doorstep and hasn't been seen   
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   > since, so I feed it and take it out for walks.   
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   > AFU Info - READ THIS FIRST   
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   > This newsgroup is perhaps the most petty, cloying, nasty, and   
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   > disappointing newsgroup on the Internet, but it has its ugly side,   
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   > too.  Since you're here, you must have some interest in the site, so   
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   > there are a few requirements that you must observe if you want to get   
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   > along here:   
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   > 1.  You must get a humorectomy.  We are a very earnest group, and we   
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   > take every post almost as seriously as we take ourselves.  Don't try   
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   > to impress us with your wit - we probably won't get the joke, but if   
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   > we do, we won't risk appearing impressed.   
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   > 2.  You must be trying to fill a vast emotional abyss with a   
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   > combination of thousands of posts and nit-picking.  It helps if you've   
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   > had a miserable childhood during which nothing you did was good   
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   > enough.  This develops the proper attitude for the afu newsgroup.  You   
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   > won't earn your parents' love here, but the satisfaction of endless   
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   > caviling will soon replace your need for any acceptance other than   
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   > ours.   
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   > 3.  You must develop an attitude of condescension that is not   
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   > supportable by your intellectual ability.  You don't have to be smart   
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   > to be here (in fact, it helps if you aren't), but you have to be able   
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   > to act smart.  Don't worry - if we accept you, we will defend any   
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   > statement that you make.  The best attitude to have is one of arrogant   
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   > aloofness which conveys the impression that nothing will ever affect   
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   > you.   
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   > 4.  Being right must become your raison d'être.  It is more important   
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   > to be right than to be anything else.  How do we know if we're right?   
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   > By proving that someone else is wrong.   
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   > 5.  You must learn our mantra: "Cite your sources…cite your   
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   > sources…cite your sources."  For us, sources are important.   
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   > Everything in a post that is not tautological, self-evident, or proved   
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   > by the post itself may be effectively answered by chanting our mantra   
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   > in your response.   
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   > 6.  You should find a pithy cliché to add to your signature.  You   
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   > don't have to understand it, it just has to reflect your   
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   > outrecuidance.  (See how easy this is?)   
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   > 7.  When you sign your name to a response, you should follow this   
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   > formula: Your first name "some statement that indicates either that   
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   > you're smart, cool, unconvinced, or bored" your last name. (E.g., John   
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   > "Spake the Bard: 'Something is fishy in Denmark,' but I'm too bored   
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   > and cool to bother with it" Smith.)   
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   > 8.  When somebody challenges your arrogance, the best thing to do is   
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   > to attack him.  You can start your response with "John Smith wrote   
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   > " or ""   
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   > anything that seems to present a segue to John Smith's post.   
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   > 9.  If any non-afu-er complains about our treatment of another   
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   > non-afu-er, you should try to be the first of us to ridicule any   
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   > expression of emotion that might be present in the post.   
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   > 10.  To really be a team player, you should do your fair share of   
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   > verification.  When an outsider posts a flame, our policy is to verify   
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   > that the e-mail address is valid.  We typically assign someone (we are   
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   > in constant contact with each other via e-mail and ICQ) to send a   
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   > complimentary e-mail to the posted address.  If it gets bounced back,   
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   > we win.  If it doesn't, we reserve judgment.   
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   > 11.  You must learn how to threaten a *plonk*.  A *plonk* is when you   
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   > add someone to your "kill file."  Of course, we never really do it -   
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   > we might miss the opportunity to tell someone that he's wrong.   
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   > 12.  You must learn that this newsgroup is more real than anything   
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   > that you might previously have thought to be reality.  This is your   
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   > new reality.   
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   > KC "Petty, Cloying, Nasty and Disappointing" Chan.   
      
   Nicely done. Here's your proof: Do a Google search for "afu alternate style   
   guide" and if you want to dig deeper (this is not mentioned in KC Chan's   
   flattering post), the name I used when I first posted it was "afuhole."   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)