XPost: dk.teknik.telefoni, microsoft.public.es.win2000, alt.tv.reality   
   XPost: rec.crafts.textiles.sewing   
      
   Virgin Radio-Johnny Boy (21/August/1998)   
      
   Certainty level: 60%   
      
   On Saturday 15 August 1998 I attended a gathering of contributors to   
   newsgroup uk.misc at London's Victoria railway station. Also present was   
   Simon G, who had previously given this description of what he would be   
   wearing;   
      
   At 06:36 AM 13/8/98 GMT, Simon wrote:   
   >further clarification to aid recognition, i'll be wearing   
   >a t shirt, a brown suede waistcoat, a brown suede miniskirt,   
   >& a pair of patchwork leggings (& may have a widebrimmed straw   
   >hat, too).   
      
   It is my belief that my persecutors, who monitor my home telephone line   
   (and consequently read all modem communications including email),   
   were aware of this meeting, and may even have observed the "meat" taking   
   place.   
      
   Following the "meat" it seemed to me that one or two attempts were made by   
   my persecutors to portray me as "gay", on the basis of Simon's suede   
   miniskirt, which in their inventiveness my persecutors attributed to me,   
   not Simon. (Just for the record, Simon is hetero, and has agreed to the   
   above email extract being published.) The following item from Johnny Boy's   
   Wheels of Steel (between 7pm-11pm, Friday 21/8/98) is one such attempt.   
      
   (conversation) (J=Johnny-Boy, H=Hipster)   
      
   J: Texas of course part of V98 this weekend enjoy it if you're going. Keep   
   your eyes out on Sunday in Chelmsford for Hipster, because he's going to   
   be there. What are you going to be wearing?   
      
   H: I'll be wearing my, er, my suede shorts.   
   (sycophantic laughter)   
      
   J: and believe me he ain't joking, he ain't joking. OK coming next at Virgin   
   on the Wheels of Steel...   
      
   Why do I think Hipster's "suede shorts" refers to Simon's mini-skirt?   
   Because "suede" in both cases (obvious!); because "suede shorts" indicates   
   "gay" which they were trying to pin on me; because "shorts" = something   
   short, such as a "mini"-skirt; and because the two DJs both laughed as soon   
   as Hipster said "suede shorts", they knew what the joke was, they knew that   
   they were meant (and probably paid) to find it funny.   
      
   5268   
      
      
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