From: someone@anywheret.net   
      
   "JimD"  wrote in message news:2018090921392488564-email@nowherecom...   
      
   > I just saw a comment on some web site. It really got to the heart of the   
   > issue I'm having with my band, and duo.   
      
   > It was something like ----  business people start their own companies   
   > because they want to control their environment.   
      
   I believe they do it so they perceive a need for improvement and can do a   
   better job and thus increase the general quality of life, and even benefit   
   from it themselves...IF their motives are pure that is.   
      
   > They want to chose who they work for, and who works for them.   
      
   That's the most common reason for becoming an entrepreneur, whether it's   
   forming a business, or a band - to realize a dream.   
      
   > It's their business, if you work there, you do things their way.  If   
   > people want to hire their services, they can or or not.  Business owners   
   > chose who they work for ( as customers ), or not.   
      
   That's the general theory, even though actual practice may deviate from it   
   somewhat, as with a band, to Insane Extremes, as with servants, particularly   
   in so-called 'government'!   
      
   > That's not the best re-saying of the comment, but I got close.  Close   
   > enough to make the point.  The reason I have issues with the band, and the   
   > duo, is that they don't want to do things my way.   
      
   Is that really the case, or is it that their 'way' is in reality no way at   
   all?   
      
   Being an idealist, I regard the idea of a band in ideal terms, where a band   
   is literally a CONCERTed effort at a Music making project and where Equality   
   is what works best, i.e. no 'leaders' AND no Slackers, because everyone is   
   Mature enough to be Individually effective at Cooperating to make the band a   
   success, because each member desires essentially the same objective and are   
   therefore Agreed on it, and each is doing their best at what will be most   
   conducive to achieving that objective...a Genuine Conscientious, Concerted   
   Effort.   
      
   > In my solo work, I'm it. I'm the boss, and the worker, and if it doesn't   
   > work, I lose that gig.   
      
   But since you're familiar with what works and what doesn't, losing the gig   
   is not usually a problem...but Loneliness, at least for me, is ;) which is   
   why I'm a band person!   
      
   > So over the years I've developed a sense of how to satisfy * my *   
   > customer/boss ... who by the way ... it not every out of work musician in   
   > the audience.   
      
   That's their problem ;) Personally, I'm not interested in being in the   
   audience because I'll Never go back to being only a spectator ;)   
      
   I've learned what works the hard way, by making lots of mistakes.   
      
      
   > Now, move to this band. When I joined they were nothing, a mess, no gigs,   
   > played crazy loud in a garage a few times a month. They talked about   
   > playing out, but had no clue how to do it. They would sometimes get a gig.   
   > Do it.  Nothing.  No rebookings.   
      
   Just as I figured, you  invested a lot of your life, stress, worry,   
   struggling, just help those with obviously far less dedication, if any at   
   all, to get somewhere.   
   No need to ask if it was worth it.   
      
   > So, anyway, we slowly got things going. Learned some decent material,   
   > showed up on time, gradually became a working band.   
      
   Let me 'guess' - like pushing a stalled car up a hill only to discover that   
   the  person behind the wheel was also holding the brakes on all the way.   
      
   > At first they would go along with my suggestions.  Weirdly tho, as things   
   > started working, they became more and more resistant to my ideas.   
      
   Of course - it's easier to be Idiots when they can get someone to do for   
   them what needs to be done - they need to learn how to remember facts like   
   that i.e. to be taught a lesson!   
      
   > I'm a stubborn guy tho, didn't leave, we kept playing, and over about a   
   > year most of the band quit. What was left was me, the girl, and the   
   > drummer. We're still going, with occasional add on's when needed.   
      
   And what has become of those who left? Probably back to going nowhere,   
   again.   
      
   > I came to this situation from a solo guy viewpoint.  I was used to doing   
   > what worked.  I'm not used to working with people who just wont.   
      
   A band runs on Cooperation and without it, it doesn't run.   
      
   > Time to rethink.  Am I a control freak ?   
      
   Nope, not at all.   
      
   > Only to the point that I won't stand by and watch us do stupid things and   
   > lose work.   
      
   That's just it, and a huge part of the problem - if you're the only one   
   stressing out over such things, it means that you're the only one who cares.   
      
   > I am slowly realizing some people want to fail.  Or at least they rather   
   > fail than listen to someone else's ideas.   
      
      
   JimD   
      
   There is a lot of mental illness around, and Masochism, including wanting to   
   fail, is part of it...which could even include not wanting to hear about how   
   to head that off, otherwise, they'd have their own *constructive* ideas!!!   
      
   Ouisie   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)