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|    alt.music.rush    |    Meh I think a tad overrated but okay...    |    1,606 messages    |
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|    Message 1,188 of 1,606    |
|    Joe Mahoney to All    |
|    A Typical Day for Neil...    |
|    28 Nov 18 09:42:50    |
      From: joemahoney1950@gmail.com              Folks, with Rush on the backburner, or even in the freezer, or possibly even       buried in back with the bodies of Latino illegals, what's a typical dayfor       Neil Peart, now that he no longer writes lyrics or books; now that he no       longer plays or even        practices the drums? He doesn't visit the library (thank GOD!) anymore, since       he has no lyrics that require him to do research. So what DOES he do?               He begins his day as the rest of us do, with a prayer. He Neils down, clasps       his hands, bends his knees, lowers his head, making himself humble as could be       before the Lord -- almost like Trump greeting Putin! (Except Neil doesn't       obtain an erection in        the process -- God is Pure Spirit, and wouldn't be able give Neil the       sought-after handjob or sodomy.)              After the intense prayer, Neil catches his breath and wipes the tears (A       lifetime of questionsTears on your cheekI tasted the answersand my body was       weak") from his ruddy cheeks.               He then ambles -- he has packed on quite a bit of weight lately, without that       3 + hours of hard drumming a night. Indeed, the only exercise he gets is down       at the Santa Monica Bathhouse with Michael. But that's delving into personal       territory. Anyway,        Neil ambles to the refrigerator for a few sodas. Mountain Doo, Coca-Cola.        Chugs a few of the those and pops a few boxes of Pepperoni & Cheese Hot       Pockets into the ole microwave. He gobbles, mouth full and wide open,       occasional strands of cheese and        saliva dribbling from his wordless lips. Ya see, folks, without media people       around, Neil has reverted to a more feral state; one might even liken him to a       beast -- dare I suggest a BEAR? For, much like yours truly, Neil is not       merely bulky and belch-       prone, but he has lost all the hair atop his head, while an unwashed,       untrimmed, food-flecked luxuriant growth of hair sprouts from his lower face       and neck. Yes, he is now officially a neck-beard, and like all neck-beards,       Neil reviles science, physical        activity and "learning," instead preferring to sit in the basement and watch       Prepper or Alt-Right videos on Youtube. Sieg Heil!              After a bit -- say, three or four hours -- of that, he makes his way,       unsteadily, outside, disturbed a bit by the wind, the climate, the call of       birds, the hum of automobiles -- the sounds of life. He years to retreat to       his Mancave and Youtube videos,        but he also knows he has a Patriotic Duty to perform.               Now somewhat sweaty, red-faced, and winded, Neil makes his way to the       refreactor telescope aimed performanently in the vicinity of the Mexican       border. While Neil adjusts the lense with one hand, another hand clutches       hard on the grip of his automatic        rifle, ready to blow away dusky-skinned rapist, drug-dealer or tamale peddler       attempting to cross the border. Our retired drummer focusses on one spot in       particular, where the other day he placed a bag of Taco Bell in hopes of       enticing Latinos to their        doom. But for now, the border seems clear enough, and Neil decides check back       later in a bit -- with backup.               Now, Neil staggers back to his house, sweating and craving a few sixers of Bud       Lite. He turns on Fox News - and it's his favorite, Sean Hannity! Neil       guzzles an ice-cold Bud and phones Michael over...              To BE CONTINUED              Joe "SPiritual Not Religious:" M.              --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05        * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)    |
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