From: joemahoney1950@gmail.com   
      
   My fellow fellaters of the florid fungus; my sidekick swallowers of the salmon   
   spunk.  Today is Sundee -- the day God rested after creating our earth, the   
   creatures, and later, the heavens above it.  Then God rested -- but how   
   precisely did He obtain his    
   rest?  Why, with some McDonald's, Bud Light, Fox News, and maybe a film or   
   two.  One of these films was surely American Beauty, from 1999, a very   
   spiritual year -- a year in which Trump demonstrated his foreign policy   
   genius, stating he would "negotiate    
   like crazy with North Korea."  (Yes, even then Trump's rectum yearned for a   
   little Kim Jong.)   In honor of all this, and simply in celebration of sacred   
   Sundee, your beloved Pastor Joe will present a review and commentary on   
   American Beauty as today's    
   sermon.  Summon your buddies, and crack open your Bud-Lite's, 'cuz here it   
   comes!   
      
   The film starts rather slowly and mundanely -- always an auspicious sign.  The   
   makers of THIS American masterpiece were fuelled by donuts or cupcakes -- not   
   coffee, a sinister bebridge from farn lands.  Anyways, so we meet this main   
   character, Lester,    
   who has the misfortune to be married to a woman (ick) and to be cursed with a   
   daughter who has sexual desires.  For obvious reasons, none of them are   
   happy.     
      
   Then new neighbors move in next door -- and there is where things perk up --   
   one might say become erect.  Because the new man next door, Frank Fitts, is a   
   STRICT DISCIPLINARIAN.  He beats his son and doesn't sleep with his wife.    
   She's lifeless and    
   lethargic -- which is just what a wife OUGHT to be.  FRANK sits on the couch   
   all day watching video footage of men going through basic training.  Yep, my   
   fellow ID-theorizing preppers!  He is one of us!  Put on your big-boy pants!    
   (Or should I say, "   
   Take them off"?)   
      
   It doesn't really matter WHY Frank beats his son; the important thing is that   
   he does it.  He's instilling DISCIPLINE, you got it?  Any man who fixates on   
   discpline, well, that says a lot.  It says EVERYTHING.     
      
      
   So he beats his son and makes him take drug tests.  And the rest of the time   
   stares at footage of sweaty men.  And as you'd expect the story's hero to be,   
   Frank is RIGHT that his son needs discipline, because the son's interested in   
   the neighbors' kid --    
   that girl, who favors heterosexual relations (yuck).    
      
   And Frank's son also supplies weed to the next door neighbor.   Now one day,   
   while they're getting high together, Frank peers through the window, like a   
   sweaty submarine captain clutching feverishly at his thick periscope.   And   
   because Frank's view is    
   obstructified, it appears that his son is performing a blowjob on the   
   neighbor!  Uh-oh!  Here comes trouble!       
      
      
   But no.  Instead, Frank Fitts, the disciplinarian and hero-of-our-story, goes   
   to the neighbor's house, and attempts himself to make out with and fellate the   
   neighbor.  Like I said, he's the HERO.  He's ONE OF US.  He's a DISCIPLINARIAN.   
      
   But as I mentioned earlier, the blowjob that he thought he had witnessed   
   earlier was actually an illusion (damn!).  So the neighbor says "No; you don't   
   understand," and Frank leaves, embarrassed -- and unfulfilled.   
      
   Don't worry, my Trumpian Toadies!  All is not lost.  For Frank returns, gun in   
   hand, and blows the neighbor away.  THAT, my friends, is called DISCIPLINE!    
   And it is also perhaps the happiest ending in the history of (non-explicit)   
   American Cinema.   
      
   Moral of the story:  If you've got a disciplinarian, abusive, military, sweaty   
   man-obsessed neighbor, and he comes over looking for love & sodomy, DO THE   
   RIGHT THING.  Give him what he wants.   Or pay the price!     
      
   Joe "Spritual not Religious" M.   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)