From: joemahoney1950@gmail.com   
      
   My fellow fellators of the florid fungus, I am often stopped in the street --   
   no, I mean in chat rooms -- and asked what I do in addition to elucidaterin   
   the Alt-Right stances immanent in Neil Peart's lyrics, I puff my chest   
   (actually, it's ALWAYS like    
   that, due to obesity) and retort, "I'm a Cyber-Hacker."  "What," my buddy   
   asks, anxious and wide-eyed, "Is a Cyba Hacka?" Well, lemme splain it.   
      
   Yes, I'll tellya howta foller my paff.  As a "spiritual-not-religious" sort,   
   I'll provide you with a series of STEPS.  Now lissen up:   
      
   1. First Step.  This kinda goes without sayin.  But you gotta be a Gaymer.    
   Yep, you gotta play on average, at least 20 hours of videogames a day.  You   
   gotta have multerple X-Boxes.  Ya gotta have wall-to-wall videogames.    
   Speaking of walls, they hafta    
   be covered with life-size sword replicas, plastic machine guns, posters by   
   Frank Frazetta wannabes, and the residue of projectile diarrhea.  Awrite?  Ya   
   with me so far?  Good.   
      
   2. You gotta be FAT.  Not just from your diet of small-town doughnits and   
   peezurs (with sides o' gollick bread an frensh fry), but from your morning 2   
   or 3 cases of Mountain Dew, and your aftanoon 3 or 4 cases of Bud Lite. Oh --   
   and also from your TOTAL    
   ABSENCE of physical activity.   
      
   3.  You must pattin yosef, physically and behaviorally, afta a character in   
   GAME OF THRONES.  For obvious reasons, my role mottle is THE MOUNTAIN.  And if   
   you're one of the few Cyber-Hackers who has advanced past puberty, make sure   
   you've sprouted a    
   Santa Claus (he's real; othawise why do we get videogames in the mail each   
   day?)-length growths of shaggy beard.   
      
   4.  When you talk, talk S.L.O.W.L.Y.  Try to sound like one of those ole   
   analog tapes -- in a machine whose batteries are just about to die.  Why?    
   Cause it makes you sound OMINOUS.  It makes you sound ALL-KNOWING.  Or so some   
   fat, pinply-faced, squeaky-   
   voiced geek decided.     
      
   5.  In that slowed-down voice, make pronouncements such as "I KNOW ALL.   
      
   To be continued   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)