From: joemahoney1950@gmail.com   
      
   5. In that slowed-down voice, make pronouncements such as "I KNOW ALL."  I   
   some "mature," heterosexial, non-gaming A-hole asks, "You know all *about   
   what*?", just stare into space for a while.  Let your mouth hang open.    
   Drool.  JUST BE YOURSELF.  And if    
   these impressive moves don't work, try releasing one of your legendary belches   
   or farts.  That'll teach him!   
      
   6. Magnetic implants.  Get as many as you can, in as weird parts of your body   
   as possible.  This will demonstrate your financial wisdom -- and your   
   rationality in general.  Magnetic implants all the way!   
      
   Upon request, I can furnish the contact info of a physician based in New York   
   who will surgically implant  these bio-mods into your flesh for an exhorbitant   
   fee.  His reputation among us Cyber-Hackers is top-notch.   
      
   7.  Give yourself a cool handle.  I, for obvious reasons, am knowed as "Large   
   and In Charge."  Now, I've got quite a few Cyber-Hacker buddies.    
   (Chronologically, they're young -- none is older than 7 years; but   
   intellectually, they're extremely advanced;    
   how else can you explain their 20 hours a day of videogaming?)  Here are some   
   of their handles:   
      
   Gunzilla.  My longest buddy.  8 years old.  Averages 22 hours a day on the   
   X-Box.   
      
   The Anominable Sniperman.  Age 6.  Plays on the X-Box 20 hours a day, and can   
   guzzle 6 Mountain Dews without pause.   
      
   The Glock Ness Monster.  A bit old (9 yers), but still has a nice squeak to   
   his voice.  19 hours a day of gaming.   
      
   The Werewolf of Gundon.  6 years old, favorite food is Pop-Tarts, plays on the   
   'box 21 hours a day.     
      
   So there's some inspiration for you.  And those are your steps.  Never have I   
   see'd a person fail who has thoroughly followed this path.   
      
   Joe "spiritual not religious" M   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)