From: joemahoney1950@gmail.com   
      
   My many masticators of the mango morel, holidays is here, and they got me   
   reminsiscin bout my Dad.  So lemme share a special memry of him witcha...   
      
   Dad, aka Joe Sr., liked EATINn.  Much likes yours truly.  Joe Jr.  In fact, he   
   wouuld almost every nite, ta the Hilltop Steakhouse on Route 1 in Saugus.  And   
   to this day, servers from that restrint ermemba Dad (aka Joe Sr.) due to his   
   tendency to orda    
   EVERY APPETIZA on the frikkin MENU -- just fer stotta's!  Also he was the   
   world's loudest burpa -- that is till I (aka Joe Juoonya) came out.  But this   
   is besides the point.   
      
   Ya see, eatin wasn't ALL he Joe Sr. did.  He also liked watchin TeeBee --   
   Magnum PI, Hawaii Five-O, Three Men and a Buggered Baby -- ANYTHING with Tom   
   Selleck in it.  Ya, see, though dad was morbidly obsese from all that eatin,   
   and could barely speak    
   Enlitch due to bein an illierate hick, Dad saw himself in Tom Sellect.  He   
   even growed hisself a Tom Selleck moustache.   
      
   And WHILE he watched ole Tom, he liked ta drink.  Scotch.  Not with soda.  Noy   
   on the rocks.  Just Scotch.     
      
   And when the TV was ova, and he'd had MANY scotchies, he'd summon me (Joe   
   Joonya) ova.  And tell me about his day's in the Omi.     
      
   Yes, he'd talk about flyin ova ta Korea, to fright the South Korean's.  He   
   talked bout bombin' Japanernese (they eat raw fitch BTW; Dad perferred STAKE)   
   up in Fuji.  He talked about personally takin down Ho Chi Minh in Thailand.    
   And he talked about    
   takin Li Po hostage in Hiroshima.     
      
   Dad was quite the war hero, as a you can imagine.  And I listened, mouth agape   
   and droolin, at his wondafull stories.  And when he finitched each tale, he   
   would clench his little fist in victory, and announce "Mission Accomplished!"    
   And when's I got ole    
   enough and familya wid each story, and knew it was comin, I'd say it widdim:    
   "Mission Accomplished!"   
      
   Fast Fowit a couple decades.    
      
   My Joe Jr's room is wall-to-wall X-boxes, Videogames, Dungeons & Dragons   
   swords, and cases o Mountain Dew.  I way arround 6 hunnit pounds.  My   
   wheelchaya is wilterin an rustet.  I crap in Depends.  My fecal fetor   
   permeate's the house, nauseatin anyone    
   who come's in contat.    
      
   Cept Dad.  He was proud.     
      
   And shortly befor he died, I was half asleep from two straight weeks of   
   videogames -- fightin vigorously sebran 5-yea ole boys.     
      
   My diapas was filled.  My eyes was hald closed.  I was droolin, an my balt   
   head had ezcema.     
      
   But I managed to raise my neckless, chinless, enormough fleshly hamhock of a   
   head, and look at dad.   
      
   He raised his fist in victory.   
      
   "Mission Accomplished," he said.   
      
   Joe "Large and in Charge" Mahoney      
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)