[continued from previous message]   
      
   one point.   
      
   “I have a great deal of guilt about that,” he said. “Had I turned in a   
   different direction, I’d have made it. It’s my fault.”   
      
   He added that he would “live with that to my grave.”   
      
   Recalling that interview in his book “Between You and Me” (2005, with Gary   
   Paul Gates), Mr. Wallace said that Mr. Hill had told him off camera that   
   “he was suffering from severe depression.”   
      
   In his memoir, Mr. Hill said that in the years after he retired, he   
   retreated to the basement of his Virginia home and sat “all alone on the   
   tattered sofa with a bottle of Scotch and a carton of cigarettes, trying   
   to forget the painful past.”   
      
   In 1982, a doctor told him he would die if he did not quit his self-   
   destructive behavior.   
      
   “We have friends who would come and see me — I wouldn’t even respond to   
   them,” he said in an interview with Brian Lamb of C-SPAN shortly after Mr.   
   Hill’s memoir was published. “I never even got up. I just — I didn’t   
   want   
   anything to do with anybody.   
      
   “Finally I started to snap out of it when the doctor convinced me to, you   
   know, I have to change. I went cold turkey. It wasn’t easy. I almost wore   
   out the shirt pockets trying to get at the cigarettes that weren’t there   
   anymore.”   
      
   A reminder of Mr. Hill’s place in history came in 1993, when Clint   
   Eastwood portrayed a Secret Service agent in the movie “In the Line of   
   Fire,” a role loosely based on Mr. Hill’s experiences.   
      
   On May 19, 1994, when Mrs. Kennedy — now Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis — was   
   hours from her death at 64 from non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, President Bill   
   Clinton invited Mr. Hill to the White House, where he expressed his   
   personal thanks for Mr. Hill’s service to her and for his career in the   
   Secret Service.   
      
   Ms. McCubbin survives him, as do his two sons, Chris and Corey, from an   
   earlier marriage to Gwendolyn Brown, a former college classmate; five   
   grandchildren; and two step-grandsons.   
      
   Mr. Hill collaborated with Ms. McCubbin on several books, including “Five   
   Days in November” (2013), “Five Presidents: My Extraordinary Journey With   
   Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon and Ford” (2016), and “My Travels With   
   Mrs. Kennedy (2022). He also provided recollections for “The Kennedy   
   Detail” (2010), which Ms. McCubbin wrote with a retired Secret Service   
   agent, Gerald Blaine.   
      
   In a 2004 documentary on the Secret Service for the National Geographic   
   Channel, Mr. Hill said he still had nightmares about the assassination.   
   But he added that he had returned to the scene in Dallas and that this had   
   helped him come to terms with his emotions.   
      
   “In 1990, I went back and walked through the area,” he said. “I went into   
   the building in which the shooter was located, and I finally came to the   
   conclusion that nothing that I could have done would have made any   
   difference.”   
      
   --- SoupGate-DOS v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)