It's amazing -- Today is January 13th, 2014, and here I am replying to a   
   message I left behind in my digital footprints from 15½ years ago.   
      
   The subject matter in the post below involves weak vs. strong people.  I've   
   been both.  The people I chatted with in those years gone by probably don't   
   read these newsgroup messages anymore -- who knows?  I suspect my hope at that   
   time was that someday,    
   somehow, someone close to Gina Leigh Marzilli / Gina Leigh White (hopefully   
   Gina herself) would Google her name and realize that Richard Silk still feels   
   she is his true soulmate / forever love, and that hopefully this would somehow   
   bring Gina and myself    
   back together again.   
      
   I'm currently (once again) in a tenuous position -- one that I worry is   
   unstable.  But I'm trying to put the fear of survival issues behind me so I   
   can deal with the fears of handling a relationship.  I can no longer count the   
   number of failed    
   relationships I've accrued. All of them carry one poignant lesson:  they   
   weren't Gina.  Of course, one may argue "well, your relationship failed with   
   her as well, so what's the difference?"  To that I'd simply respond with what   
   my Dad used to always tell    
   me:  "Too soon old, too late smart."   
      
   When Gina and I were still on speaking terms I was young, stupid, incredibly   
   stupid, and even more stupid than that.  And I was afraid of Love, despite the   
   fact I had so much of it bottled up inside of me.  How does one overcome one's   
   fear of one's self?    
    Love is the only answer I can offer:  One's Love of one's self must be   
   stronger than one's fear of one's self.   
      
   So what becomes of the person who loves one's self yet one's soulmate is still   
   not present in one's life?  I actually tried believing one could have a   
   different soulmate -- that perhaps Gina was irreparably and eternally so   
   pissed off at me such that I    
   could possibly "start over" with someone else.  That almost worked.  Only I   
   was so anxious for it *to* work that I failed to realize the entire time (the   
   last 8 years) that the person I was trying to make it work *with* was actually   
   working *against me*    
   the entire time.  The last 8 years have produced three incredibly beautiful   
   children, but here I am again -- alone -- the kids have been taken, their   
   mother is most likely going to jail today (she couldn't shaker her crack   
   addiction while on probation)    
   and I'm living in my father's home but eventually I must move on somehow,   
   somewhere, yet my mind and my soul and my body are bone weary / dead tired /   
   deflated / de-motivated / uninspired / lacking incentive -- I am "dead in the   
   water."  The only reason    
   I survive is Love of Christ, Love of Self, and Love of Life.  Yet I'd trade   
   all three of those in a heartbeat just for one Love -- from Gina.   
      
   ==========   
      
   In the event that she, I, or anyone of note should happen across this digital   
   message in a bottle in the virtual sea, Gina may contact me at my home   
   address:  1103 Scottland 37130. The juno email address quoted below is also   
   valid, but the best way to    
   reach me is dick silk at gmail dot com (no spaces, of course, and the "@" and   
   "." need to be treated accordingly, obviously.)   
      
   On Thursday, June 18, 1998 2:00:00 AM UTC-5, Trish Pike wrote:   
   > Silk Dick wrote:   
   >    
   > > In article <358d43b8.4434845@news.melbpc.org.au>, johnf@melbpc.org.au (John   
   > > Fitzsimons) writes:   
   > >   
   > > >If you had made it clear to a woman that you didn't want to have a   
   > > >relationship with her are you saying that she should keep after you ?   
   > >   
   > > when a man puts his foot down (says "NO!"), damn few women are powerful   
   enough   
   > > to move it / change his mind.   
   > >   
   > > Pleasant Dreams |-)   
   > > Silk   
   > >   
   > > Richard.Silk@Juno.Com     
       
   >Silk, you must be surrounding yourself with weak women.  Put a foot down in my   
   >household, and the bearer is likely to get toes squashed.   
   >    
   > Trish   
      
   --- SoupGate-Win32 v1.05   
    * Origin: you cannot sedate... all the things you hate (1:229/2)