From: mortimer@VivoBook.X512D   
      
   Ilya Shambat  writes:   
      
   >A friend once wrote that the only solution for women is to climb up the cor=   
   >porate ladder.   
      
   >No, that is wrong.   
      
   >Different women will want different things. For some the solution is to hav=   
   >e a career; for others the solution is to raise a family. Most women will p=   
   >robably want both.   
      
   >One problem is the hostility between the career-minded women and the family=   
   >-minded women. The first see the second as =E2=80=9Cbreeders=E2=80=9D and t=   
   >he second see the first as sinners. Of course there is a need both for rais=   
   >ing families and for work.   
      
   >So these women should be doing a better job of getting along with one anoth=   
   >er. Neither speaks for all women; they speak for some women. There is very =   
   >little in common between Catherine McKinnon and Phyllis Schaffly. Both of t=   
   >hese are women who claim that they are speaking for women. Yet they advocat=   
   >e for completely different things.   
      
   >Is climbing up the corporate ladder the solution for women? Clearly it woul=   
   >d be a conclusion for some. However so would raising a family. However I wo=   
   >uld like to warn the women who take the career path that they will be deali=   
   >ng with all sorts of bad people, and that in many cases their lives would b=   
   >e worse than even if they were to find themselves in an abusive relationshi=   
   >p.   
      
   >Can love go bad? Of course it can. So can anything, including the corporate=   
   > world. I will want my daughter to understand the dangers in either situati=   
   >on. I expect that she will want both a professional life and a family life.=   
   >  Which means that she needs to know what she will be dealing with in both =   
   >family and career.   
      
   >I had a girlfriend, raised by a single aunt, who told me that she prefers m=   
   >ale authority over female authority because in case of male authority there=   
   > is often erotic attraction, whereas with female authority it is =E2=80=9Cw=   
   >hat do you cow know about.=E2=80=9D Not all of Eminem=E2=80=99s audience we=   
   >re violent men; it included a lot of women. These women preferred violence =   
   >by mean but sexy young men over emotional bullying by mean unattractive old=   
   >er women.  And there are plenty of the latter in the world.   
      
   >The main conclusion to be drawn from recent feminism is that neither men no=   
   >r women are good or bad. Both are capable of both. And it can be quite dema=   
   >nding to figure out who is good and who is not. Clearly Eminem is not a goo=   
   >d person. But neither is Catherine McKinnon.   
      
   >I anticipate different women choosing different things. Some will want care=   
   >ers; others will want relationships. Most would probably want both. There i=   
   >s no inherent antagonism between family and feminism. There are many femini=   
   >sm-influenced women who raise families; and they don=E2=80=99t do it out of=   
   > servility to men but as living beings that, like most living beings, simpl=   
   >y want to have children.   
      
   >There are things to be said for there to be a greater mix between career-mi=   
   >nded women and family-minded women. Both have useful things to offer one an=   
   >other. The career-minded women may be useful in helping the family-minded w=   
   >omen to stand up to abusive men, and the family-minded women may teach the =   
   >career-minded women how to be kinder. Supporting feminism-influenced women =   
   >in having a family life will make it possible for these women to pass on th=   
   >eir values. And that is probably the best thing that can be done for women=   
   >=E2=80=99s rights.   
      
   I think you could have left it at women want to be respected as competent   
   adults who are capable of making their own reasoned choices, the same as men.   
   The problem with the kind of discourse your article represents is that it is   
   rather patronizing for men to tell women how they ought to think and behave.   
   Also, it fails to recognize that the push for a life outside of domestic   
   duties and raising children has context.  This is not happening in a vacuum,   
   but in a society that pushes against women choosing something else, and   
   loves to blame and vilify them if they try to discover a balance between the   
   two while actively undermining their ability to do so.   
      
      
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